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12 Surefire Methods For Standing Out From The Crowd During Church
Babylon Bee ^ | 3-19-18 | B. Bee

Posted on 03/20/2018 10:49:23 AM PDT by fishtank

12 Surefire Methods For Standing Out From The Crowd During Church

March 19, 2018

You know what’s the literal worst? Going through all the trouble to put on your best clothes from Hollister, drive all the way to church, and worship the Lord Most High—only to realize later that not a single person even noticed you the whole time you were singing God’s praises and having the Word of God preached to you. Everyone’s eyes were on the worship band or on the pastor.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: General Discusssion
KEYWORDS: church
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To: raiderboy
There is no doubt about it. I have studied it for years and tested is from every angle. “church” was first used as an intentional mistranslation in the King James.

Okay, you do know that ENGLISH was a relatively new language when the KJV was written, right?

81 posted on 03/20/2018 10:26:08 PM PDT by boatbums (The Law is a storm which wrecks your hopes of self-salvation, but washes you upon the Rock of Ages.)
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To: raiderboy; Jemian

“Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.
“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’
“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. (Malachi 3:8-10)


82 posted on 03/20/2018 10:36:20 PM PDT by boatbums (The Law is a storm which wrecks your hopes of self-salvation, but washes you upon the Rock of Ages.)
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To: raiderboy
Ekklesia is not “assembly”. Assembly is “Sanhedrin”

That is not correct. The Greek word ἐκκλησία (ekklesia) means "the summoned ones," a synecdoche referring to those members of a particular group who are assembled for the purpose of considering a matter affecting the guild of members. Its use for a Christian group meeting as a constituted organism is quite linguistically appropriate.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching" (Heb 10:25 AV; bolding for emphasis)

The Hebrew word is "synagogue" not "Sanhedrin." It is transliterated into the Greek:

μη εγκαταλειποντες την επισυναγωγην εαυτων καθως εθος τισιν αλλα παρακαλουντες και τοσουτω μαλλον οσω βλεπετε εγγιζουσαν την ημεραν (Hebrews 10:25 Textus Receptus; bolding as above)

The Sanhedrin consisted of the elected Jewish leaders of a national theocracy only. In contrast, the local ensynagogued assemblies were for every Jew in the community, with a minimum of ten adult men required to form the core of the legitimately constituted worship meeting; as it still is today.

The early churches (= assemblies) were patterned after the Jewish synagogue (first mention Mt. 12:9), with a locally respected Christian male resident elected by common agreement as the presiding officer for its agenda. They had no priests, only local overseers.

It doesn't appear that you know very much about ecclesiology, no matter how long you say you have studied it. In your local church, if there is one that will admit you, doubtless you would be incompetent as one to guide yourself regarding its function, let alone others, eh?

Of course, you are free here to have an opinion and express it, but it probably won't carry much weight with the general contributors in this forum. With the right attitude, you could learn a lot here from them. I do.

83 posted on 03/20/2018 10:47:24 PM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: raiderboy

Sanhedrin was a religious council of the highest level Pharisees and Sadducees. It was not a meeting of all of the free men as was an Ekklesia in the Greek community. The Greeks actually made all of the free men come to the Ekklesia so the decision would be made by all.

I do know that Sunday is not the Sabbath, just as I know that the Bible says we should “Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:”.

And just because the Essenes chose to control their bowel movements does not make it right. The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath.

And where did you get the idea that Sunday was the day you do nothing? Jesus Himself worked His work on the Sabbath as well as every other day of the week.


84 posted on 03/21/2018 12:55:01 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: imardmd1

I noticed your use of the Textus Receptus. I actually had a long discussion with my father in law, a North American Baptist Pastor, on that versus the Westcott-Hort.

He had never really heard about the Textus Receptus.


85 posted on 03/21/2018 1:01:53 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: raiderboy
Preacher's got to eat too...And he is worthy of his hire...And you're right...We the assembly don't need church buildings...We can stand outside, under the oak tree, all winter long...

Anyone who lives off of “ gifts or tithes to God”

What do you s'pose the assemblies do then, with all that money???

86 posted on 03/21/2018 1:12:01 AM PDT by Iscool
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To: MeganC
Funny, that was the same thing one of our previous pastors said and he made good on it by refusing all compensation for his leadership.

So how did he support himself??? Was he homeless???

87 posted on 03/21/2018 1:14:05 AM PDT by Iscool
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To: raiderboy
“33For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, 34women are to be silent... They are not permitted to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.

Your confusion comes from reading an NIV...Here's what Paul really said:

1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

Paul didn't say anyone was under the law as you claim...Paul says he has some instruction from God which happens to be the same instruction that was given in the law...Paul also says don't be an adulterer which is the same instruction given in the law...

88 posted on 03/21/2018 1:51:48 AM PDT by Iscool
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To: raiderboy
Ekklesia is not “assembly”. Assembly is “Sanhedrin”.

So where the bible says assembly (ecclesia), it really should say Sanhedrin...And the Sanhedrin is a Jewish council...

Naw, this assembly (ecclesia) is a group of like minded idol worshiping pagans...

Act 19:32 Some therefore cried one thing, and some another: for the assembly was confused; and the more part knew not wherefore they were come together.
Act 19:33 And they drew Alexander out of the multitude, the Jews putting him forward. And Alexander beckoned with the hand, and would have made his defence unto the people.
Act 19:34 But when they knew that he was a Jew, all with one voice about the space of two hours cried out, Great is Diana of the Ephesians.

Act 19:35 And when the townclerk had appeased the people, he said, Ye men of Ephesus, what man is there that knoweth not how that the city of the Ephesians is a worshipper of the great goddess Diana, and of the image which fell down from Jupiter?
Act 19:36 Seeing then that these things cannot be spoken against, ye ought to be quiet, and to do nothing rashly.
Act 19:37 For ye have brought hither these men, which are neither robbers of churches, nor yet blasphemers of your goddess.

Act 19:39 But if ye enquire any thing concerning other matters, it shall be determined in a lawful assembly.
Act 19:40 For we are in danger to be called in question for this day's uproar, there being no cause whereby we may give an account of this concourse.
Act 19:41 And when he had thus spoken, he dismissed the assembly.

This ecclesia/assembly was NOT the Sanhedrin...

. Ekklesia means “the called out” That is “believers” you cannot refute that. It is fact not subject to opinion.

Sometimes ecclesia means the called out believers and sometimes it just means a group of people (assembly) as I have proven...The translators used the word 'church' to differentiate between the called out believers, the body of Christ and an assembly of pagans so y'all wouldn't get confused...Guess it didn't work in every situation...

Act_11:26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church (ecclesia), and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.

Ya really think the Sanhedrin were teaching about Jesus with the apostle Paul???

89 posted on 03/21/2018 3:10:45 AM PDT by Iscool
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To: ThomasThomas

partial...


90 posted on 03/21/2018 3:13:01 AM PDT by Iscool
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To: Red Badger

We keep trying to confirm this on FR!


91 posted on 03/21/2018 4:20:14 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: kaehurowing
When looking for a new church; I felt quite a bit overdressed with kakhi pants, shirt with tie and a sweater!

(But the preaching was sound; which was the important thing to me.)

Sure, the organ and piano and choir have been supplemented/replaced by electric guitars, drums in a plastic room, electric pianos and a praise team; but it's not the 90 and 9 that are being sought. It's the folks that Paul said he'd be all things to all people so that he might win some.

1 Corinthians 9:22

92 posted on 03/21/2018 4:27:52 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: jonno
The Babylon Bee?

Sound like a religious version of The Onion - America's finest news source.

93 posted on 03/21/2018 4:33:40 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: MosesKnows
Speaking in tongues is not something a Christian does because he can; he does it because he is moved to.

There is moving; and then there is MOVING!!

94 posted on 03/21/2018 4:50:45 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: WayneS

Unintended consequences: As Nature abhors a vacuum; captionless pictures absolutely require input!


95 posted on 03/21/2018 4:52:23 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Luircin; Hebrews 11:6
Well, if you doubt the authority of Scripture, then we have nothing to discuss.

AoS; which was brought to us by Rome; teaches that AoS is just not enough any more...


Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
 
Hebrews 11:6 addenedum  And without Sacrements it is impossible to please Rome, because anyone who comes to her must believe that she is supreme and that she rewards those who earnestly follow her rules.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

96 posted on 03/21/2018 4:55:30 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: raiderboy
Jesus had money?

Who knew!

97 posted on 03/21/2018 4:56:17 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: raiderboy
Jesus is stated to be the son of Abraham, and the son of David, in Matthew 1. Do you take that to mean that the scripture means Abraham and David are both his father, an obvious impossibility, and thus that the scripture is false? Or do you fall back on a handy little tool called context ?

I ask, In all honesty, do you consider yourself a Christian? Freerepublic alone contains ample record or inter and intra-denominational battles fought over meaning and interpretation of tradition, sacred tradition, scripture, church history, etc etc etc, but I'm trying to grasp how someone who starts from the position that scripture is false, would even want to be a Christian in the first place.

98 posted on 03/21/2018 4:58:51 AM PDT by Wyrd bið ful aræd (Flag burners can go screw -- I'm mighty PROUD of that ragged old flag)
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To: Salvation
Men don’t wear hats in a Catholic Church.

Any other things you'd like cleared up?

99 posted on 03/21/2018 5:03:11 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: raiderboy
” judge not lest ye be judged” Scripture?

CONTEXT???



 
Jesus has commanded us to judge!
 

"Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unrighteous, and not before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world?... And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?... Do you not know that we shall judge angels?... How much more, things that pertain to this life?.. If then you have judgments concerning things pertaining to this life, do you appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge ? (1 Corinthians 6:1-5).


Many commands of God require the exercise of righteous judgment.


"But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us" (2 Thessalonians 3:6).

"And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother" (2 Thessalonians 3:14,15).

"Teach and exhort these things. If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wrangling of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself" (2 Timothy 6:2b-5).

"Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple" (Romans 16:17,18).


All these commands require the careful exercise of righteousness judgment. Do not be deceived by smooth words and flattering speech. Beware of wolves who come to you with a sheep's skin.

We must be careful not to make unqualified judgments. But we must judge appropriately when commanded to do so.


 "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."  (John 7:24).

100 posted on 03/21/2018 5:05:16 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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