Funeral Foibles – Problems in the Celebration of Catholic Funerals

Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 11-14-16 | Msgr. Charles Pope

[Salvation]

Funeral Foibles – Problems in the Celebration of Catholic Funerals

Msgr. Charles Pope • November 14, 2016 •

In this month of All Souls, it is good to reflect on funerals. It concerns me that very few people today seem to understand the real purpose of a funeral. The way in which we conduct ourselves at funerals, the manner of preaching at funerals, and other visible attitudes expressed at funerals not only teach poorly, but are often a countersign of biblical and Church teaching on death, judgment, Heaven, and Hell.

There are many problems, both sociological, and liturgical, that combine to create an environment that not only obscures Catholic teaching on death, but often outright contradicts it.

In today’s post, I would like to lay out what I think are some of the issues that surround typical funerals today. I do not claim that every family or parish exhibits all or even any of these problems, only that they are common.

1. There is basic confusion about the purpose of a funeral. Many people arrive at the parish to plan a funeral, presuming that the funeral should be all about “Uncle Joe,” who he was, what he liked, etc. This leads to a series of requests, some of them inappropriate. For example,

1. Uncle Joe’s favorite song was My Way, so we want a soloist to sing it at the funeral.
2. Uncle Joe had three favorite nieces who would each like to speak after Communion to say “a few words” about what a great uncle he was.
3. Uncle Joe was a big football fan; he never missed a game. So we’d like to have flowers in the team colors and a football displayed on a table near the altar. We received a letter from the team’s front office and we’d like to have it read in tribute after Communion (after the nieces).
4. Father, in your sermon please remember to mention Joe’s great concern for such-and-such cause. Oh, and don’t forget to mention that he was a founding member here at St. Esmerelda’s and was the president of the parish men’s club.

Well, you get the point. Of course none of this is the real purpose of a funeral at all. Like any celebration of the Sacred Liturgy, the Funeral Mass is primarily for the worship of God, the proclamation of the Gospel, and the celebration of the paschal mystery. Secondarily, the Mass is offered for the repose of the soul the deceased, inviting prayer for the judgment he faces and for his ultimate and happy repose after any necessary purification.

The sacred liturgy exists to glorify God, not man; to praise the Lord, not Uncle Joe. No matter how great a guy Uncle Joe was, he doesn’t stand a chance if not for Jesus and lots of grace and mercy. Uncle Joe needs prayer more than he needs praise. Whatever gifts he did have were from God. God should be thanked and praised for them.

Too many funerals focus on man, not God. Too many funerals focus on human achievements rather than the need for grace, mercy, and gratitude for all that has been received.

As a practical matter, in my parish we do not allow relatives or friends to speak during the Funeral Mass. If someone wants to say a few words, it is done before Mass starts. Once the Funeral Mass begins, though, it is the Mass and only the Mass.

2. A step is skipped at most funerals. Upon the death of a loved one there is often the instant declaration that “He’s in Heaven now.” Sometimes it’s worded a little differently: “She’s in a better place” or “He’s gone home.”

Of course such statements are grossly presumptive and in making such declarations, people attempt to sit in the judgment seat that belongs only to Jesus. If I were to say, “Uncle Joe is in Hell now,” people would be justifiably angry and accuse me of being “judgmental.” But of course those who say “Uncle Joe is in Heaven now” are doing the very same thing.

Further, Scripture doesn’t teach that people, even believers, die and go straight to Heaven. No, there is little “pit stop” first, an appointment to keep. Scripture says,

1. It is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment (Hebrews 9:27).
2. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Cor 5:10).
3. Always speak and act as those who are going to be judged under the law of liberty (James 2:13).

Thus instant promotion of the deceased to the realm of Heaven is inappropriate. Instead, we should give them to the Lord with our prayers, asking for a merciful and kindly judgment, and that any necessary purification be accomplished soon. The prayers for, and comments about, the deceased can include gratitude for their life and the gifts they brought. But we should never to fail to mention that the deceased goes to judgment and that we should pray for them, more than praise them.

3. Purgatory and the concept of purification after death are rarely mentioned at funerals, but should be. Purgatory is the likely destination of most of the dead, for at least some purification after death.

The whole point of praying for the dead is Purgatory! If the dead are in Heaven, then they don’t need our prayers. Sadly, if they are in Hell, they can’t use them either. It is those in Purgatory who both need and can use our prayers.

Jesus said, You must be perfect as the Heavenly Father is perfect (Mat 5:41). This is a promise, not a threat. And St. Paul said, May God who has begun a good work in you bring it to completion (Phil 1:16).

Most of us know that we are not perfect and that God’s work in us in not complete. If we were to die today, God would still have some work to do in us. Purgatory just makes sense; clergy ought not to be so hesitant to preach it clearly, particularly at funerals. We are not just here to pray for the family; we are here to pray for the deceased because he or she has gone to judgment. Even if the judgment isn’t for Hell (thanks be to God), there is almost certainly some finishing work needed, some purgation; our prayers make a difference in this regard.

4. The immediate family should not be the only object of concern and ministry at a funeral. While every priest and deacon who preaches is aware that a funeral is a sensitive moment for the family, he cannot minister only to them. Present at most funerals (in great abundance, frankly) are many who are unchurched and need to be called to Jesus. Often some of these people are in the immediately family of the deceased.

Clergy should not let this opportunity pass. The only time many of us see a lot of these people is at funerals. Waiting for “another time” to call them to repentance and to follow Jesus should not be an option. They are here now and must be called now.

At the Funeral Mass we clergy should seek to minister not only to the immediate family, but to all in attendance who are in varying states of spiritual health or disease.

Pastoral experience tells me that the overwhelming majority of attendees at funerals are in grave spiritual condition. Most of them are not serious about their spiritual life. They are not praying; they are not reading Scripture. They are not attending Mass or going to any service on Sundays. Many are in very serious and unrepentant mortal sin.

To have that many lost souls at a funeral and to say nothing at all to them about the need to repent and call on Jesus, is downright malpractice on the part of the clergy. Whether they like it or not, priests are watchmen for the house of Israel. They must go on ahead of the Judge to summon people to repentance and saving faith.

This can be and should be done at funerals. It is possible to do so with loving conviction and a passionate cry.

I have done this for many years at funerals and have almost never received complaints. On the contrary—I have received many expressions of gratitude from people who are desperate for their wayward relatives to hear such a message. I have also joyfully received back into the practice of the faith a number of people as a result of such preaching.

We must minster to everyone at funerals. They are moments that are pregnant with meaning and possibilities. They are evangelical opportunities.

It is generally agreed that things are out of balance at most Catholic funerals. Our silence about important matters such as judgment, Purgatory, and proper preparation for death makes a good deal of what we do unintelligible. Why are we offering Mass? Why do many of our prayers ask for mercy and beseech the Lord to received our deceased loved one into Heaven? If it’s all certain and perhaps even a done deal (e.g., Joe is already “in a better place”) why do we do any of this at all?

The priest should surely speak with confidence about the love and mercy of God, assuring the family in this regard, especially if the deceased had faith. The Lord Jesus loves sinners and died for us. Surely He will have mercy on those who seek it.

But God’s mercy cannot be preached without reference to human freedom and choice. Neither can judgment be understood without reference to the promise of perfection and the need for it before we can enter Heaven. Regarding Heaven, Scripture says, Nothing impure will ever enter it (Rev 21:27). The denizens of Heaven are described as the spirits of the righteous made perfect (Heb 12:23). And we are admonished, Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord (Heb 12:14).

All of these notions must balance and frame our discussion of mercy and the confident hope that we can give our loved ones back to God.

But too many Catholic funerals lack this balance. This lack is on the part of both the families, who often speak of salvation without reference to judgement, grace, or mercy; and the clergy, who often fail to preach in a way that sets forth a clear teaching on death, judgment, Heaven, (Purgatory), and Hell.

Tomorrow I will post a sermon typical of what I preach at funerals. If I do say so myself, it tries to articulate all of these themes.

[Salvation]

Your own interpretation again?

[xzins]

Speaking as a non-Catholic, the funeral services for Catholic members of our family have been far superior, in my opinion, to every other denomination I have attended.

The words spoken in introducing the deceased by the family during the procession are more than fitting eulogy, and then the conduct of the remainder of the service to the glory of God is moving. So, as a Methodist pastor soon to be retired, I often say that the Catholic funeral service is without equal.

This article is by one who has a few adjustments he’d make. Some of his theological points are not part of my understanding. Protestants are reluctant to accept any notion of purgatory, although we do accept the post-death judgement seat of Christ at which our works built on the foundation of Christ will be evaluated. (1 Co 3).

I wholeheartedly agree with him that the funeral is a great opportunity for proclamation of the gospel and the proclamation of God’s mercy.

In short, his objections seem to me to be adjustments and not a major overhaul.

Just a protestant’s 2 cents worth. If my comments are inappropriate, please flag a mod and have them remove this post. I intend no distraction by it, and if it becomes that, I want it removed.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

"you declared its teaching??? who are you compared to those who were there when it was written and experienced this???"

Those who were there at the time are gone from earth and present in the Lord. Those of us who remain are left with the blessed Holy Spirit, who guides believers into all truth. We are left with God's inspired Word - also via the Holy Spirit. We are left with teachers and pastors, also gifted by the Holy Spirit.

"and nowhere in your ‘declaring’ does it say that there is no purification by God of the deceased....and nowhere in your declaration does it prove that ‘to be absent from the body is to be with the lord’ cause it doesnt say that...you misquoted it...."

There is no purification for the purpose of salvation anywhere in Scripture. What is says and what that teaches are exactly why God the Holy Spirit has made provision to understand His Word.

[Salvation]

Paradise was a waiting place for all the good people who came before Jesus. It is NOT heaven.

“Christ descended into hell” There he preached to those people, fulfilling his messianic duties.

Remember — at the Ascension — Christ was the FIRST one into heaven.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Campion, thank you for the opportunity to post about the amazing Word of God.

I do not have time to lay out original language structure and words, but it would not make much sense to non-Greek readers. If anyone is interested in seeing the passage and every other NT passage laid out structurally as parts of speech, I recommend the Lexham High Definition New Testament. It is a treasure.

I will copy and past some thoughts from someone I respect and studied under at seminary that briefly touch on structure in this commentary on 2 Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 5:6–8

Verses 6–8 bear the same relation to each other as do verses 2–4.

Verses 2 and 6 make a statement.
Verses 3 and 7 are parenthetical,
and verses 4 and 8 expand verses 2 and 6 respectively.

Statement: verse 2 & verse 6

Parenthesis: verse 3 & verse 7

Explanation: verse 4 & verse 8

Since we have the promise that we will obtain a glorified body (v. 1), and since we have a pledge of that promise in our present transformation (v. 5), we can feel consistently confident.

However because we are absent from the Lord while we are living in our mortal bodies we desire to leave these bodies and take up our new residence in the Lord’s presence. Note that there are no other alternatives for the believer. We are either in our mortal bodies and absent from the Lord or we are with the Lord and absent from our mortal bodies.

This is a strong guarantee that when we leave our mortal bodies we will go immediately into the Lord’s presence. Being “at home with the Lord” implies a closer fellowship with Christ than we will enjoy in the future.

- Thomas Constable

All the best.

[Digger]

Great article in my opinion.

I second that.

[mumblypeg]

Funeral mass for Justice Antonin Scalia, presided by his son, Father Paul Scalia. I loved the way he started off, then BOOM!
A perfect illustration of what Monsignor Pope is talking about.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cIq1fYzMhcc

[mumblypeg]

Good for you! See my #27.

[fishtank]

Four times it says it’s a judgment of our works.

Which determines our reward.

God SAVED me out of the Roman quicksand.

Ephesians ch.2

[Digger]

Great article in my opinion.

I second that.

[Citizen Soldier]

I coordinate funerals at my parish and the helmet should not have been atop of the casket. Only the pall is during the actual Mass.

[Citizen Soldier]

Exactly right

[PapaBear3625]

While I understand that the Funeral Mass has restrictions as to what it can and cannot be, it can leave those attending with a feeling that it did not really allow for honoring the decedent in any personal way.

That's what the wake is for.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

“Your own interpretation again?”

The interpretation of hundreds of millions of believers, including pastors, teachers and what the full passage teaches.

[Covenantor]

Attended the Orthodox grave side service of an elderly Ukrainian. The priest had been a friend from childhood days.

In the blazing summer sun his white and gold attire along with a gleaming bald scalp coupled with gold coated aviator glasses almosted blinded one.

With a chorus of black clad older women singing while the coffin was slowly lowered into the grave the poor distraught priest tried to climb over the rail to ride the coffin down to its resting place. Friends restrained him, but not before revealing the Bermuda shorts and black over the calf socks in sandals beneath his gear.

Was on a very hot afternoon, this Evelyn Waugh scene. Startling to say the least.

[miss marmelstein]

I only thought it was wives who tried to throw themselves into graves. Oh, well. Funerals can be fascinating.

[LYDIAONTARIO]

Thank you for your input, not inappropriate at all.

[Salvation]

Your comments are totally appropriate.

[Salvation]

Thanks for the link.

[cloudmountain]

Thanks for posting. Good to be reminded.