Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Halachos (Religious Law) of Christmas
Jewish World Review ^ | 12/24/98 | Jewish World Review

Posted on 11/30/2014 12:31:05 PM PST by Phinneous

A humorous (if you understand Jewish ritual law--halacha) take on "the halacha" of Christmas trees--

Know that Jews have myriad laws governing daily life... For example, Chanukah candles must be kindles at a certain time, and last a certain duration...and oy vey what happens in a million after-the-fact cases where one did NOT meet the requirements, etc. All the funny quirky things you positively love about us Jews.

What if they were transposed onto Christmas... the results might be something like this:

(key: "Mitzvah" means commandment:)

1. PREPARATIONS FOR XMAS MUST NOT BEGIN(1) BEFORE THANKSGIVING.(2) THIS APPLIES TO PREPARATIONS WHICH AFFECT THE HOLIDAY MOOD,(3) BUT NOT THOSE WHICH ARE DONE IN PRIVATE.(4)

(1) This contrasts sharply with Shabbos, for the mitzva of honoring Shabbos applies all week long. For example, if one finds a particularly good food during the week, one should save it for Shabbos even though it is now only Sunday and Shabbos is a week away. However, Xmas preparations may not begin too far in advance, in order to fulfill the dictum, "It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas." (2) This is because of the principle that two festive occasions should not be mixed into each other. Note the decree of the great R.H. Macy, who established that Santa Claus may not appear in the Thanksgiving Day parade until after all the other floats have passed. (3) Such as setting up the Xmas tree (some say even buying one,) or playing holiday music on the Muzak. (4) Such as buying gifts or buying the Xmas dinner turkey. Cooking the turkey may not be done before Thanksgiving because it will appear to be a Thanksgiving turkey.

(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Judaism; Other Christian; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: christmas; halacha; kvetching
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-26 last
To: imardmd1

New year’s day is January 1st, a Thursday.


21 posted on 11/30/2014 6:37:00 PM PST by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Excellence
New year’s day is January 1st, a Thursday.

Oh, boy! Gotcha! I win at least ten bucks from someone every year on this one. Good thing you didn't bet me. Read my statement again, then check your calendar.

(Chuckle)(This is free to you, and everybody that reads this post.)

22 posted on 11/30/2014 7:04:06 PM PST by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: NFHale

Gaucho Marx?

.


23 posted on 11/30/2014 7:09:40 PM PST by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: NFHale

Gaucho Marx?

.


24 posted on 11/30/2014 7:09:45 PM PST by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: imardmd1

You have a strange calendar!


25 posted on 11/30/2014 7:12:32 PM PST by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: editor-surveyor

...in a sombrero, no less...


26 posted on 12/01/2014 4:46:33 AM PST by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-26 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson