Posted on 11/30/2014 12:31:05 PM PST by Phinneous
A humorous (if you understand Jewish ritual law--halacha) take on "the halacha" of Christmas trees--
Know that Jews have myriad laws governing daily life... For example, Chanukah candles must be kindles at a certain time, and last a certain duration...and oy vey what happens in a million after-the-fact cases where one did NOT meet the requirements, etc. All the funny quirky things you positively love about us Jews.
What if they were transposed onto Christmas... the results might be something like this:
(key: "Mitzvah" means commandment:)
1. PREPARATIONS FOR XMAS MUST NOT BEGIN(1) BEFORE THANKSGIVING.(2) THIS APPLIES TO PREPARATIONS WHICH AFFECT THE HOLIDAY MOOD,(3) BUT NOT THOSE WHICH ARE DONE IN PRIVATE.(4)
(1) This contrasts sharply with Shabbos, for the mitzva of honoring Shabbos applies all week long. For example, if one finds a particularly good food during the week, one should save it for Shabbos even though it is now only Sunday and Shabbos is a week away. However, Xmas preparations may not begin too far in advance, in order to fulfill the dictum, "It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas." (2) This is because of the principle that two festive occasions should not be mixed into each other. Note the decree of the great R.H. Macy, who established that Santa Claus may not appear in the Thanksgiving Day parade until after all the other floats have passed. (3) Such as setting up the Xmas tree (some say even buying one,) or playing holiday music on the Muzak. (4) Such as buying gifts or buying the Xmas dinner turkey. Cooking the turkey may not be done before Thanksgiving because it will appear to be a Thanksgiving turkey.
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
I thought Halachos were Islamic Nachos..
“...I thought Halachos were Islamic Nachos....”
Huh... and all this time, I thought Halachos were Mexican cowboys with gaudy, short pants...
No, they’re just the nachos that give you bad breath, you know... halitosis.
Pretty sure that's a Religion Forum first right there.
I don't recall that ever coming up before.
Ground is broken on FR, it's true.
Oh, so that’s GAUCHOS, not “halachos”...????
Sorry my bad!!!!!! :^)
“...Ground is broken on FR, it’s true. ...”
We strive to endeavor... or endeavor to strive... or... something...
Resist we much!
And much we shall... or so the stomach turns... after eating those moslem nachos!!!
Reminds me of the story Charlton Heston told about being at a party during the filming of “The Ten Commandments” and telling Milton Berle that he was exhausted from all the long days getting into and out of make up and filming in the role of Moses. Berle supposedly replied “Oh, you thought it was easy being a Jew”.
“Endeavor to persevere”. And then we went home and declared war on the Union.
Haha!!!
Outlaw Josey Wales... Chief Dan George. What a great old character actor.
This is hilarious! Thanks for posting. Traditionally, for western Christians, Christmas season begins midnight Christmas morning and Epiphany is 12 days later. Christmas season ends Feb 2, Candlemas Day, by the traditional calendar.
Thank you for this sharing this! I have forwarded it to my adult children in the hopes it will provide guidance for us from Reb Kringle in such essential disputes as when is it too soon to decorate the tree, may an artificial tree be used etc.
My personal favorite is the minhagin for placing decorations symmetrically:
III. 2 (20) derived from the law that one’s head tefillin the must be placed in the exact middle of one’s head, and the similarity of the words “tefillin” and “tree fallen”
Good stuff ey :)
(if you want to get really technical, Christmas lasts beyond the Octave of Christmas and Epiphany to the Feast of the Purification of Mary (Candlemas) which is February 2nd. So no need to ditch the decorations quite so soon . . . )
Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998 . . . :-D
Yasher koiyach for posting. I saw this long ago, laughed, and have occasionally wondered where I’d seen it. Thank you.
I thought it was cute.
BTW, I notice that this year Xmas is on Thursday, but New Yer's is on Wednesday! (Check your calendar)
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