Posted on 11/11/2014 9:44:11 AM PST by fkabuckeyesrule
If you attend a church regularly, you’ve probably noticed the phenomenon. A guest shows up for a worship service, but he or she never returns. It is, unfortunately, a common issue in many churches.
I did a Twitter poll to ask these first-time guests why they chose not to return to a particular church. While some of the responses were anticipated, I admit being a bit surprised with some of them.
Though my poll is not scientific, it is nevertheless fascinating. Here are the top ten responses in order of frequency.
1.Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service. This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response.
2.Unfriendly church members. This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it.
3.Unsafe and unclean children’s area. This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.>P>
4.No place to get information. If your church does not have a clear and obvious place to get information, you probably have lowered the chances of a return visit by half. There should also be someone to greet and assist guests at that information center as well.
5.Bad church website. Most of the church guests went to the church website before they attended a worship service. Even if they attended the service after visiting a bad website, they attended with a prejudicial perspective. The two indispensable items guests want on a website are address and times of service. It’s just that basic.
6.Poor signage. If you have been attending a church for a few weeks, you forget all about the signage. You don’t need it any more. But guests do. And they are frustrated when it’s not there.
7.Insider church language. Most of the respondents were not referring to theological language as much as language that only the members know. My favorite example was: “The WMU will meet in the CLC in the room where the GAs usually meet.”
8.Boring or bad service. My surprise was not the presence of this item. The surprise was that it was not ranked higher.
9.Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew. Yes, this obviously still takes place in some churches.
10.Dirty facilities. Some of the comments: “Didn’t look like it had been cleaned in a week.” “No trash cans anywhere.” Restrooms were worse than a bad truck stop.” “Pews had more stains than a Tide commercial.”
There you have it. The top ten reasons first-time guests said they did not return to a church. I can’t wait to hear from you readers. You always have such good additions and insights.
i am not thrilled about meet and greet. i think if you/can smile and say hi without touching/shaking hands - just out of hygiene issues, a head nod with a “hi” - i’d like it better. if people have friends there and want physical touch they’ll do it after or before service.
very interesting bit of info. Marketing study or no, what the congregation thinks of the church and service has everything to do with the church and service, Jesus Himself had some fairly judgmental moments about Pharisees and others in his parables.
I think the only thing they would get is scotch tape.
Our church does that. It is supposed to be freely given, not a peer pressure issue. No passing of the plate, an offering box at the back of the church.
BFL
Maybe I will go to hell for this, but holding hands with those beside you during the Lord’s prayer in Catholic church creeps me out. I don’t really mind the meet and greet.
>>Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service<<
I dunno about other denominations, but in the Anglican church when folks greet you and shake your hand after common prayer, it is a sign of forgiveness. A symbol of our Lord’s command to forgive and wish peace upon that person.
You will shake someones hand in the Anglican church and will often hear someone say to you, “Peace be with you or God’s peace”.
I read up to response #88 and decided that for the most part the responses were whiney. Good Lord, excuse the pun, grow a pair and think about why people attend praise and worship services.
True, it may not be for you ... but one day it may.
Church is not a rest home for saints; Church is a hospital for sinners.
At my parish we don’t shake the hands in either the TLM or the Novus Ordo. The priest just says “the peace of the Lord be with you” and we say “and with your spirit”. Then we move on to the next part. No shaking hands at all.
These comments are very similar to the story of a priest and associate assigned to a “dead” parish and how they brought it bacvk to life. “Rebuilt” is the name of the book.
Our pastor greets us with a handshake as we leave the sanctuary. I worry about him getting sick. He seems to get along well, and without more colds than the average person.
I always hated the sharing of the germs at other churches,and one reason I like my new (2 years now) church is there was not that awful pressure to shake hands with everyone during the service. We do so much fellowshipping before and after the service, I find it stupid on a few levels to do that during the service.
Cheers
True. Who knows what a simple greeting/handshake means to someone? That may be the only Jesus someone might see. I love greeting people.
Now for the reality of the offering, and every complaint about the treatment of “visitors.”My wife and I have been church shopping since we moved here 5 months ago. No complaints about “greetings," just an expected thing, and people are nice. But as a church growth consultant told our church some years back, in reality you have no visitors in your church. Because, in the first instance, it is - or had better be - the Lord’s church. Not yours, the Lord’s. Your congregation has stewardship over the building, and the pastor is hired to preach the Word, etc - but it is the Lord’s, or it is a fraud. So where do you get off thinking of anyone else as a “visitor?"
The church we attended last, and the church we are gravitating to now, both have this thing of saying that “if you are a visitor, don’t feel obligated to give an offering; your presence is enough.” But the Christian is supposed to contribute regularly and significantly. So where does a church get off telling me otherwise??? Not that I act in accordance with that unBiblical “teaching,” but Sheesh!
I told the church we attended previously, and they seemed to have taken my point. I had a chance to vent about it to the local church here Sunday, and we’ll see if it has any effect. They talk, before the offering, about the ministries they are performing. That is the advertisement I need to feel assured that when I put a check in the plate I am worshiping God. Not the building, and not the pastor.
The first two are mutually exclusive, so I would discount them. The church is damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Beyond that, it sounds like the upper room, Lydia’s house, and the Philippian jail wouldn’t be acceptable places.
If Jesus was at the First Street inner city mission, these folks wouldn’t return because of an unkempt nursery.
Yes, that is the original reason I quit going to the Vatican II Mass (had only been to it a handful of times, averaging once/decade). Since then, I discovered many others reasons to prefer the Tridentine Mass (see profile page and other trad sources).
Well to me it would drive me away from organized religion permanently, if that were the only option.
You evidently don't realize how the universe of introverted/asociable people react to such a thing.
Not on the list: “Church not founded by Jesus Christ.”
At the time, I was struggling just to make rent; as a church "newbie", I didn't think what I put in the offering was a priority at that point.
However, a church leader went out of her way to hand me an envelope. Quite embarrassed, I had 26 cents in my pocket, and surreptitiously slipped it into the envelope, sealed it, and handed it back to her.
She promptly asked how much I put in.
I never went back.
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