Magic Underwear & Magic Food

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1340878 ^ | July 31, 2014

[greyfoxx39]

Mormons have some really weird beliefs. For example, many (all) Mormons believe they (males only) can take a cooking/salad oil, pour just a small drop on the crown of your head and their god will heal them of almost anything.

Mormons believe that by wearing ugly underwear bought from a specific company, their god will protect them from harm.

Mormons believe that by wearing a really weird looking costume they are taught secret ways to touch angels so after they die, the angels will let Mormons get into heaven quicker.

Mormons believe their god requires women to not wear outer clothing that covers their crotch (pants) to worship their god in a large and spacious room (chapel).

Mormons believe that a little torn piece of bread and a small sip of water that has been chanted over and then swallowed will require their god to forgive them for their sins.

Mormons believe by consuming certain foods and wearing funny looking clothes god loves them more than the rest of the humans.

It is the same with all parents. We love our children more or less depending upon how ugly their clothes are and how they consume small bits of food items.

The Mormon god must have a sense of humor watching his "SPECIAl" children called Mormons think this makes god love them the most.

[Elsie]

It shouldn’t be a one way street in which Mormon and Catholic freepers have to defend themselves each and every day without, at least, knowing the religious values of the bashers.

You guys don't have to defend YOURSELVES; but the things that your chosen organization TEACHES.

How would knowing where your 'basher' stands help that in any way?

All I can see is yet another 'But look at what YOUR religion/church/denomination/leader has done!' deflection.

[FourtySeven]

< /lurker mode >

Just FYI, Elsie has identified himself as a man. It is an odd name for a man, IMO, no offense intended, but there it is.

< lurker mode >

[trisham]

California is beautiful too. Jim lives there, after all.

[Elsie]

I don't hate them. Do you?

No; but I DO hate what the organization, they choose to belong to, teaches.

Most of them are merely deceived; while there must be some who truly KNOW they teach falsehoods and lies.

[Elsie]

Most of them are merely deceived...

(I think the ones who show up on FR are in this category.)

They get REALLY wound up when things about their religion are shown; that they do NOT have much knowledge of.

They fuss and fume and say either publically or privately, "I'll show THEM! I'll find out the TRUTH and post it for the WORLD! to see!"

[miss marmelstein]

Oh! I’m, actually, a firm believer in religion in the home being the mom’s job with the husband coming up with a vague affirmation that kids need to go to church on Sunday. And I can see why this is a good thing - men tend to get fanatical whether it’s politics or religion.

[Elsie]

It is just us good people doing what we do best

They are all gone out of the way, they are altogether become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
--Romans 3:10

[Elsie]

But mocking another religion (false or otherwise) is not “religious” in nature.

Reply #170...

[Albion Wilde]

I continue to believe that religion-bashing between conservative Americans is a waste of life on FR. It saps the strength of relationships between people who should be political allies. Please do not post any more religion criticism to me. Thank you.

[Elsie]

No legitimate religion establishes the truth of their religion by mocking some other one.

Ha ha HA!!

This is EXACTLY what Mormonism is BASED on!

[miss marmelstein]

Since you don’t like to reveal your denomination for some reason, can you tell us if you are a religious moderator at FR? Some of us are privately interested.

[Elsie]

Didn’t you read reply #151??

[Alex Murphy]

I need to mention this: I was just asked to log off and log on again which I haven’t had to do since the last time I had a problem with a religious thread. I just want to get this out there in case of future trouble.

What kind of "future trouble" are you anticipating?

[Elsie]

And who says they wear funny clothes? The Mormons I see are generally well dressed,

Mormons believe that by wearing ugly underwear bought from a specific company, their god will protect them from harm.

[miss marmelstein]

You can overlook my last post to you since you’ve now revealed your denomination about 12 hours after I first asked. It may come as a shock to you that I don’t follow you “religiously” enough to know who or what you are.

Are you a religious moderator at FR?

[Elsie]

Mormon women are some of the most attractive women I have seen and they do not put on a pound of make up to hide what they really look like, and much of their attractiveness is the modest apparel.

 

 

 

http://therecordexchange.com/tag/hot-mormon-muffins/

 

 

 

[Alex Murphy]

I’m, actually, a firm believer in religion in the home being the mom’s job with the husband coming up with a vague affirmation that kids need to go to church on Sunday. And I can see why this is a good thing - men tend to get fanatical whether it’s politics or religion.

Would you like another apple?

[Elsie]

I was just asked to log off and log on again which I haven’t had to do since the last time I had a problem with a religious thread.

So was I when I got on my computer this morning.

Nothing sinister, just a thing that happens occasionally.

---

Unless your computer is POSESSED!!!!

[Elsie]

Has anyone really paid attention to Romney lately?

Office of First President & Living Prophet®:

November 8, 2012

Fellow MORMON Freeper Christians!!

 

I must apologize and ask for forgiveness from you all.

 

As you know, we at Headquarters NEVER tell you pew warmers how to vote. It says so right in our press releases. Anyway, we were ALL thrilled to the max when there were two – TWO! – MORMONs being touted in the primaries: Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman.

 

Talk in our upper chambers high above SLC was how our gods were favoring us with these men; who had prepared their entire lives for an opportunity to save this Nation; which so badly needs guidance: OUR guidance even! So naturally, I and the other twelve analyzed and discussed the situation.

 

Consensus was that the voters should listen to the inner urging and vote for the one they wanted; but that seemed to be leaving WAY too much to chance.

 

I decided, that since I am the ONLY man on earth that can hear GOD’s voice, that I would pray for wisdom and clarity in the matter.

 

I hadn’t used the fleece in a while, so I questioned GOD with a test. A paper, with Romney on one side and Huntsman on the other was to be placed by the air conditioning vent high above my desk in the sumptuous office the Full Tithers have provided.

When the air would kick in later in the evening, while I was home, the paper would be blown down and whomever GOD wanted would then be visible on the upper surface.

 

As you can probably guess, when I came in the next day, the paper had landed on my desk, with Mitt’s name on top.

Last night, I was staying late, praying to GOD about how it was even possible that Mitt lost, when the janitorial cleaning crew came in. Being surprised to find me here, they apologized for interrupting me. I said to them, “It mattereth not, as I was about to leave anyway.”

 

As I was going out the door, the foreman of the crew just happened to mention that my office is ALWAYS so neat and tiny, never anything out of place, that they barely have to do anything to tidy up. Then one of the sweepers said, “Except that time in the spring when we came in to clean and found a paper with Huntman’s name on the floor by your desk. We put it back on your desk and left.

 

 

Tommy M.

 

PS Keep praying that Huntsman will add an “H” to his name. Jon looks so dang effeminate!

 

Onward to 2016!!!

[Elsie]

But there is only one who can send us to hell.

But there are MANY who can send us down the WRONG path to Heaven.