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De-Converting Mormons [From an ex-Mormon]
Ex-Mormon.org ^
| March 24, 2013
| Ex-Cult Member
Posted on 03/24/2013 7:29:58 PM PDT by Colofornian
(This was actually a reply to another thread but thought I'd re-post it as its own thread)
I think I was at least partially responsible for approximately 10 friends and my entire family (parents & siblings).
I may have lucked out but some things to note that I think helped me was:
1) I never came across as angry or bitter. I was always nice, friendly and self assured (but not arrogant or condescending)
2) They all knew I was a "good" Mormon so they were all very curious as to why I left when it wasn't because of being offended or sinning.
3) I did my research. I studied up on all the issues both pro & anti. I was able to intelligently convey to them the historical/doctrinal problems with Mormonisim that they weren't aware of.
4) I made it clear to them to them that it wasn't me trying to find an excuse to leave the church but my SINCERE desire for absolute truth which led me out. I started out reading anti books on my mission so that I would know how to DEFEND the church, but I gradually realized that most of the stuff was actually true and that the church couldn't really be defended. My eyes gradually were opened to the fact that the church may not be what it claimed to be.
5) I NEVER ARGUED with them about the issues with the church. I would share the information I learned, give my opinion, but never got in any kind of heated debate or let emotions get in the way. If they came up with some rebuttal, I would give mine and just say "I guess this is just how I see it." If they engage me long enough just the info I provide to them would begin to sink in even if they wouldn't admit it the time. Deep down they knew the things I was saying about the church couldn't be defended. I never "railed" against the church. I explained what things "bothered" me and made me "question" things, but I never came off as "attacking" the church. I would never use the word "cult." I would never call the leaders of the church names. I never used words like "evil." For example I would say something something like,
"I was very troubled by the fact that Joseph Smith would marry young girls and wives of other men. It just doesn't make sense TO ME why God would command this or tolerate it. I PERSONALLY don't believe this is something God would sanction."
instead of saying,
"Joseph Smith was a lying two timing adulterer and pedophile!"
In talking with Mormons, you have to start out slowly with them. You have to soften your words. Be careful not to put them on the defensive. Do NOT make it so they feel like they have to defend the church.
Once they start to grasp the magnitude of the problems, THEN you can start "telling it like it is." You just have to be careful to not come across as too "anti."
6) I never forced my beliefs or knowledge about the church on them. If they wanted to talk, I would share it with them, but I wouldn't "force my anti-Mormonism" on them. I was open and honest about what I believed, but only when they brought it up.
As many posters here have stated before, Mormons generally have to be "ready" for the truth. Many of my friends or family were active TBM's but they were struggling internally with some aspect of Mormonism, so they were more open to talking about the church and it ended up being easier for them to transition out (than say other more entrenched Mormons).
For the entrenched Mormons (I was actually one of them), they have to have the willingness to FULLY study the historical/doctrinal issues. Sharing with them, in just conversation, some "tidbits" of truth probably won't budge them, if they are hardcore. They would need to actually take the TIME and sit down and do some research and read about ALL the problems about the church. However most uber TBM's will get scared after a few pages and stop researching. Just a couple anti-Mormon arguments will merely put a dent in their armor, but if they are ACTUALLY willing to sit down and read a book like The Changing World of Mormonism by the Tanners, then I'd say they actually have very high probability of de-converting.
TOPICS: Ministry/Outreach; Other non-Christian; Religion & Culture; Theology
KEYWORDS: deconvertingmormons; exmormon; inman; lds; mormonism
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To: ejonesie22
This UCG I take it? Is God a Trinity?
That's the one...thanks for the link to the excellent booklet!
I can see where defending Mormonism may be of some interest...
Wait...back up the train a moment. When did I defend Mormonism? I asked what should be a straight forward question about what church someone belonged to. What's wrong with that? I should think that any Christian brother or sister would be happy to share their truth with others.
How about you ejonsie22...do you have brethren that you love, worship and fellowship with?
To: teppe
teppe:
And i believe that that is why some 7th Century Pope excommunicated TertullianSorry, wrong doubly: Tertullian wasn't excommunicated, he left the main stream to team up with the Montanists. He strongly believed in the Trinity in the Father-Son-Holy Spirit as pre-existent and in Christ begotten not made.
102
posted on
03/25/2013 9:20:11 AM PDT
by
Cronos
(Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
To: Cronos
Thanks Cronos. I was gonna smack that down but you’ve taken care of it. :b:
103
posted on
03/25/2013 9:35:38 AM PDT
by
JCBreckenridge
(Texas is a state of mind - Steinbeck)
To: DouglasKC
How about you Elsie....are you a brother in Christ? Do you have fellowship or worship Christ with any brethren? Yup; but it isn't on my homepage.
I didn't feel it was important.
I tend to post stuff from various translations of the bible; instead of how my chosen denomination interprets church 'doctrine'.
But; since you asked, the Wesleyan denomination lets me into one of it's buildings on Sunday.
Sometimes; I don't feel worthy to be there...
104
posted on
03/25/2013 9:48:00 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: DouglasKC
I should think that any Christian brother or sister would be happy to share their truth with others. I have no truth; but I do tend to recognize it on the pages of the best selling book.
105
posted on
03/25/2013 9:49:52 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: JCBreckenridge
I was gonna smack that down but youve taken care of it.No need to smack down; when what we do best is educate.
Smackin's only needed when folks don't do the assignments! ;^)
106
posted on
03/25/2013 10:00:36 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: teppe
Dude!
You are ON to something!!!
107
posted on
03/25/2013 10:01:06 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Colofornian
I can say that as a former Protestant converted into the Catholic Church, I continue to learn hard lessons here and there regarding my efforts to explain and defend my faith without coming across as being arrogant or attacking others. It’s good to stand firmly for truth, but my personality flaws can turn a good tendency into something that pushes people away. All I can say is, arguing and debating can be learned much easier than acting in love. That’s the real challenge for me.
108
posted on
03/25/2013 10:53:36 AM PDT
by
Free and Armed
(Playing leap frog with a unicorn and compromising with liberals--both have a similar end result)
To: Elsie
I should think that any Christian brother or sister would be happy to share their truth with others.
I have no truth; but I do tend to recognize it on the pages of the best selling book. I'm sure you took my comment the wrong way or misspoke because you should have truth if you are a Christian:
2Jn 1:1 The Elder, To the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all those who have known the truth,
2Jn 1:2 because of the truth which abides in us and will be with us forever:
Joh_14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Not having the truth is horrible!
1Jn_2:4 He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
Joh_8:44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.
So I'm sure you didn't mean it like that!
To: Free and Armed
Sounds like you have characteristics!
110
posted on
03/25/2013 12:30:50 PM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: DouglasKC
I'm sure you took my comment the wrong way or misspoke because you should have truth if you are a Christian:Possibly.
What I meant to say was that I had no truth, of my own, but only that of Christ.
111
posted on
03/25/2013 12:33:34 PM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: DouglasKC
Yes, I am Methodist with an Orthodox background.
As far as the link, since it show that the UGC is Polytheist, which puts them outside of Christianity, just like the LDS.
A few points from a Wiki article...
-Belief in a non-Trinitarian view of God. Specifically, the belief that the Holy Spirit is the spirit/power of God and of Christ Jesus rather than a separate person in the Godhead. God ‘the Father’ and Jesus Christ are viewed as distinct ‘God beings’ in the ‘God family’.[13]
-Belief that today's mainstream Christian teachings resulted from doctrinal corruption under the influence of Greco-Roman philosophy which occurred early in the history of the church, so that the major Christian churches now teach various pagan ideas and practices under the guise of Christianity. UCG preaches the ancient pagan origins of traditional Christian celebrations (especially Christmas and Easter) render them inappropriate for true Christians.[23][24][25][26][27][28] Members believe that the doctrines and practices of the United Church of God can be traced to the original teachings of Jesus Christ and the early ‘Church of God’ as described in the New Testament.[29][30][31]
All sounds somewhat familiar...
112
posted on
03/25/2013 1:30:42 PM PDT
by
ejonesie22
(8/30/10, the day Truth won.)
To: Free and Armed
113
posted on
03/25/2013 1:52:42 PM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: ejonesie22
Yes, I am Methodist with an Orthodox background. As far as the link, since it show that the UGC is Polytheist, which puts them outside of Christianity, just like the LDS. Not polythiest, but Binitarian as opposed to Trinitarian. The difference being that neither the old testament nor the new testament teaches that the holy spirit is a separate being in the Godhead but instead teaches that it's the spirit of the father and/or son working on earth. The trinity, as history shows, is an evolved doctrine of the Catholic church that protestants borrowed as their own when they split off.
If you would like to find out more you can read Is God a Trinity?"
As far as being "outside" of Christianity it's true...I'm outside of traditional Christianity because it's built today on tradition more so than scripture. The proper term for my beliefs is first century Christianity, primitive Christianity or biblical Christianity. Either are acceptable.
I wouldn't exactly agree with how the wikipedia article characterizes UCG, but it's a lot better than it was. I kind of had a hand in that but there was a person making editorial changes who really espoused no faith except apparent contempt of others that was thinly disguised as defending the Christian faith.
Those types of Christians are really the worse as I'm sure you'll agree.
Mat 7:1 "Judge not, that you be not judged.
Mat 7:2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
Mat 7:3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Mat 7:4 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
Mat 7:5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
I that some Christians can judge doctrine if they've put the study time in. The problem is that most don't which is why we have so many problems in Christian churches...they don't know the word but instead are steeped in tradition.
But I think that all Christians can discern fruits. We can see whether someone is trying to be truly helpful by their tone, tenor and attitude. On the other hand we can also see when someone is using Christianity to justify being contentious, divisive, bitter and vindictive. Like the person on wikipedia was.
But luckily it's not the job of any Christian to judge someone else's salvation. That's the job of Jesus Christ.
To: Elsie
Possibly. What I meant to say was that I had no truth, of my own, but only that of Christ. I assumed as much....I just didn't want any casual reader to get the wrong idea. Thanks for clarifying.
To: Elsie
Joseph Smith himself confessing:
Joseph Smith, AUTHOR...
116
posted on
03/25/2013 2:18:13 PM PDT
by
Colofornian
(If BoM is everlasting gospel, why no god as exalted man, 3 glorious degrees, men becoming gods, etc?)
To: Elsie; Zakeet; Colofornian
Guy on the left now knows the truth now as he died of a brain tumor in 1965. Cool looking dude on the right with tailored suit and the finest Florsheim well polished shoes faked it in order to enjoy the pleasures of Denmark in 1961. His green bike is showing on the right. And they forgot to wear the silly name plate badges. The best two and a half years of my life!
117
posted on
03/25/2013 3:46:02 PM PDT
by
Utah Binger
(Southern Utah where the world comes to see America)
To: JCBreckenridge
I think this has to be a record.There is a record. And their will be a reckoning.
To: Elsie
119
posted on
03/25/2013 3:58:22 PM PDT
by
Utah Binger
(Southern Utah where the world comes to see America)
To: JCBreckenridge
Wow, second post bashes Catholics. Bashes Catholics? That's an exaggeration. It does (unfairly in my opinion) criticise the man Ratzinger. What other Catholic is "bashed" by such ill-founded critical remark?
I was going to reply to that person (who made the remark in discussion here...) and ask them to ease up on the guy (just look at some recent pictures of the Ratzinger...he's not in good physical condition. have mercy) but couldn't get freedom from the Spirit to post a reply. I'm not getting full "ok" from the Spirit to post this reply, so I'll need beg a bit of that same mercy I'd like to see extended towards mr. Ratzinger. Just not as much...
120
posted on
03/25/2013 5:00:46 PM PDT
by
BlueDragon
(the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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