How to be a Jack Mormon

The Cultural Hall Podcast ^ | June 9, 2012 | Carli

[greyfoxx39]

A Jack Mormon is someone who is Mormon, but ”trouble.”

They are somewhere in between baptism and excommunication. If they even show up to church, they’re merely in the door, not on the stand, but also not escorted out. Foyer sitters.

(That’s how I’ve heard the term used anyway.)

In order to be a successful Jack Mormon, you need to incorporate multiple items from the following list into your life:

• Swear.
• Church apparel, for men: Wear jeans and any shirt color other than white to church. No tie. Tennis shoes.
• Church apparel, for women: Wear a sleeveless top and a mini skirt. Never wear panty hose. Wear flip flops in the summer and hooker heels in the winter.
• Church apparel, for all: Wear sunglasses.
• Get a tattoo in a well-seen location.
• Both men and women should have multiple piercings.
• Men: Grow your hair long, past your earlobes.
• Dye your hair an unnatural color, such as blue, purple, pink or green.
• Bring iced tea, caffeinated soda or rum cake to the potluck.
• Quote R-rated movies, in church if you get the chance.
• Let your phone ring and ring and ring in Sacrament meeting. Answer it from the pew.
• Bring a cup of coffee to Seminary or early church meetings.
• Pop open a can of Pringles on Fast Sunday.
• Eat McDonalds in the parking lot before church. Throw the trash away in the can outside of the chapel.
• Attend church high or hung over.
• Let your kids play video games at church.
• Host a poker night, preferably on the Sabbath.
• Clap after the intermediary musical number.
• Cross-dress for the Halloween Trunk-or-Treat.
• Never address other members as brother or sister.

Are Jack Mormons a misunderstood part of Mormon culture? Or are Jack Mormons simply misinformed about what’s appropriate in Mormon culture?

[ansel12]

You claim to see ‘pure hate’ from me for Joseph Smith’s anti-Christian religious teachings, but I see pure love in you and your dedication to Mormonism, in post, after post, after post.

[svcw]

I only see pure hate in you.

Please proved proof that your continued claim. If you are going to make the charge please back it up.

Just as a side note posting someones exact words and references is not hate, it is exposure.

[ladyL]

First of all Jesus wouldn’t and couldn’t enter a Mormon Temple as it would break His Torah which He never broke nor will He ever break. His Word is eternal He warned us over and over and over not to worship other gods! He brought judgment on the House of Israel by scattering them to all nations because they worshiped other gods, so I don’t see Him going into a Mormon Temple. He also probably would not go into any Catholic or Protestant church as they too have mixed pagan worship, idols, holy days, with the Hebrew Faith. He definitely would not go in. Most likely He would feel most comfortable in a Conservative synagogue where they still keep HIS 7th day Sabbath and all of HIS holy feasts and the Ten Commandments.

[Religion Moderator]

Discuss the issues all you want, but do not make it personal.

[svcw]

In many ways you are correct. I think you might be more likely to see Him sitting under a tree talking to people or standing on a hill top speaking to thousands or having a meal with them.

There are many people in the Christian community (not mormonism), who view the church as building. The church is not the building it is the Body of Christ. (I realize we may disagree on who Christ is, Judaism or Christianity the church is not a building.)

[greyfoxx39]

There are non-denominational Christian churches that have the Word of God in storefronts, or other buildings without any of the trappings you mention.

Some are based upon the church as it was in Paul's time.

[Utah Binger]

I worship here.

[ansel12]

Many Protestant churches meet in unadorned buildings, even rented rooms, without any symbols or icons.

[unkus]

Discuss the issues all you want, but do not make it personal.

---

No problem.

[kitchen]

Really, Jesus would NOT find a welcome in a mormon chapel...

But if he ever signed the guest book at the Salt Lake Tabernacle he'd be guaranteed a couple visitors would stop by each year, wherever he lived, to chat him up.

[jjotto]

Jesus would comfortable with?...

http://www.jewishmosaic.org/page/load_page/51

...In December 2006, landmark changes took place within the movement, the results of which allow Conservative-affiliated rabbinical schools to ordain openly gay rabbis, if they so choose, and allows clergy to officiate at same-sex commitment ceremonies, if they so choose. While these changes are new, the movement’s leadership has strongly encouraged Conservative-affiliated synagogues to welcome LGBT Jews as members since the early 1990s. In addition, Conservative leaders publicly endorsed civil unions and other measures that recognize gay relationships under civil law many years before changes were made within the movement...

[unkus]

LOL

[greyfoxx39]

;0)

[reaganaut]

When I was LDS, multiple ear piercings were still ok. At BYU I had my ears pierced twice and wore earrings in both.

[reaganaut]

Really, Jesus would NOT find a welcome in a mormon chapel, and He would certainly be denied entrance to a mormon temple.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***He would feel most comfortable in a Conservative synagogue where they still keep HIS 7th day Sabbath and all of HIS holy feasts and the Ten Commandments.***

HOT DOG! SHARPENING THE SABRES! Oh wait, save this for a different thread. Don’t want to hijack this one!

[reaganaut]

I am a proud Apostate.

- - - - -
I want a t-shirt for the next time I’m in Utah that says “I’m the apostate your bishop warned you about.”

Ping to other fellow apostates...

[reaganaut]

Accurate not lame and certainly not grasping at straws.

Aside from being the perps at the first 9/11, Smith bragged that he would be a ‘second mohammed’, and most LDS believe (although will not admit to gentiles) that the LDS will control the government and rule from Missouri. I can source all of that...

Here is the Smith quote...

“I will be a second Mohammed to this generation…whose motto, in treating for peace, was ‘the Alcoran [Koran] or the Sword,’ so shall it be eventually with us, ‘Joseph Smith or the Sword.’

[reaganaut]

As far as Jesus being DENIED entry into a Mormon Temple, that presupposes (AGAIN a “shot” and “slight”) that you and others consider Mormons as NOT being Christians and ANTI-CHRIST.

Regardless, Mormons as are ALL peoples are GOD’s children

- - - — -
Wrong there on a couple of points, sparky.

Mormons are NOT Christians based upon their own theology. NO church accepts them as Christians - Catholics, Orthodox or Protestant if for no other reason then they deny the Trinity.

Second, ONLY BELIEVERS (born again believers who trust Christ for their salvation) are Children of God (by adoption not by birth). Mormons preach against this.

Mormon theology is what keeps them from God, not us.

[reaganaut]

My pastor has stopped preaching and said “hey, we’ll wait till you are done (name’s name). Normally, it happens once and once only.

- - - - -
My pastor usually quips “Hey, if that is God, ask him how He likes the sermon!”.

We also have slide sign that asks people to turn their phones off because leaving them on is ‘cell’...’fish’...ness.