Thanks dubyagee. I’ve had the thought in the back of my mind that I will just give it a year to feel better. Looks like I better extend the time frame...
Right now, the pain is pretty bad as he was diagnosed last October. Everything about this time of year, early sunsets and such, reminds me of last October. I’m absolutely dreading the Christmas season as he died December 17th.
It doesn’t help that my mom is now in assisted living as my dad was her main caregiver. We tried having her live with us but she is wheelchair bound and I’m not physically large enough to lift her. She’s pretty bitter about that and lives in the land of denial regarding her own grief.
I’ve decided that I need to concentrate on my own mental health before I can begin to help her.
My condolences on the passing of your brother and thanks again for sharing your story with me.
Don’t put time frames or “have tos” on a grief process. For some, they have already processed some of the grief process.
For others like me, it took a long time.
Check out my FR homepage for part of the story.
Don’t put time frames or “have tos” on a grief process. For some, they have already processed some of the grief process.
For others like me, it took a long time.
Check out my FR homepage for part of the story.
For me it was my brother who died when I was 12. I still can’t think about him without crying.
With my father, who I dearly loved, he was supposedly brain dead by the time I flew across the country. My brothers and sister insisted that I make the call about taking him off life support. I told the Dr. I wanted to wait until the next day.
I went in and talked to him and he opened his eyes! I thought it might be an involuntary thing so I walked around and he followed me with his eyes. I told him what I wanted to and then I ran to let everyone else have their chance. He died within an hour but what a consolation.
As for grieving, my husband just absolutely HATES for me to cry. He wants to make me feel better and I finally had to tell him, I’m going to cry and there is nothing you can do to help and when I am finished grieving I will stop crying. I got through the process fairly quickly and I do believe it was because of that small miracle at the end.
I say grieve away, it will never completely heal but it will turn into a scar that becomes less and less painful but still there as a reminder.