For me it was my brother who died when I was 12. I still can’t think about him without crying.
With my father, who I dearly loved, he was supposedly brain dead by the time I flew across the country. My brothers and sister insisted that I make the call about taking him off life support. I told the Dr. I wanted to wait until the next day.
I went in and talked to him and he opened his eyes! I thought it might be an involuntary thing so I walked around and he followed me with his eyes. I told him what I wanted to and then I ran to let everyone else have their chance. He died within an hour but what a consolation.
As for grieving, my husband just absolutely HATES for me to cry. He wants to make me feel better and I finally had to tell him, I’m going to cry and there is nothing you can do to help and when I am finished grieving I will stop crying. I got through the process fairly quickly and I do believe it was because of that small miracle at the end.
I say grieve away, it will never completely heal but it will turn into a scar that becomes less and less painful but still there as a reminder.
That is so wonderful that you had the chance to say your goodbyes to your dad. You are blessed.
I, in turn, feel blessed by everyone sharing their stories. It was not my intention to hijack this thread. I’m quite gun shy about posting a vanity, except when my dad was dying and the support here is so very heartwarming and exceptional.
God bless all of you who have experienced a loss and even bigger hugs to those of you who are going through the worst of it right now. You are in my prayers.