At one time, a Catholic child had to have a saint name.
My Baptismal name is a WHOLE lot longer than my legal name.
Bring those rules back and there is no problem.
The Fearsome Fivesome here are all named with old-fashioned names, in standard spellings. We also tried (emphasizing that word) to make them difficult to make fun of. Of course, the kids themselves defeated that plan. ;)