Tiffany Gee Lewis: Pint-sized Pharisees — How to avoid raising self-righteous children

Mormon Times ^ | Sept. 28, 2010 | Tiffany Gee Lewis

[Colofornian]

We stepped outside on Sunday for our ritual family walk.

I immediately heard shouts from my kids.

"Mom, the neighbor kids are riding their bikes on Sunday!"

We have had this conversation a thousand times: Our family has rules that don't apply to other families. They go to different churches. All churches are good.

We are in that stage with our children where we try and do the delicate balance of teaching them correct principles without turning them into Pharisees for the rest of the neighborhood.

I'm sure you've all had that experience where you go out to a restaurant, your child stands up in the booth and yells across the room, "That man over there is smoking!" And you whisper between clenched teeth, "That's OK. They don't know better. We don't judge others. Sit down, please."

We're not big soda drinkers, so every time our kids see an aluminum can emblazoned with the Coca-Cola symbol, they go into hysterics. The same goes for coffee makers. My oldest son was crushed when he discovered that his beloved kindergarten teacher drank a cup of coffee every morning.

It's a tricky thing, this teaching business. I feel strongly that our children need to learn right from wrong. If we don't teach it to them, they'll learn to judge by the world's standards, which at the moment are pretty low.

So we teach them about honoring the Sabbath, keeping the Word of Wisdom, sharing their toys, being baptized and growing up with very specific commandments.

We couch it all by trying to explain that these are our beliefs and our family rules. They only apply to us. But children see things in black and white.

So they trudge into the house, as my son did on a recent afternoon, looking very dejected.

"Mom," Jackson said, "Jimmy doesn't want to join our church. He only reads the Bible, even though it's incorrect. And he said he believes in one hundred different gods. I don't know if we can ever be friends again."

I put my arm around his shoulder.

"Jimmy is Catholic," I told him. "Catholics are wonderful. He believes in one God. He was probably referring to Catholic saints. And your friendship with Jimmy is not over. You can be friends with all people." Jackson shrugged and looked relieved.

"OK, well I'm going out to play."

These are important conversations. It shows that my kids are actually trying to ponder and fit their own belief system in a world filled with various ideologies. I believe it's an important step in religious development.

And sometimes kids simply have to learn the hard way.

When I was 9 we visited family in Washington State. A group of us cousins gathered around my cousin Darcy for some sobering news.

"Grandma and Grandpa smoke!" she told us.

This was an absolute shock. Didn't they know about the Word of Wisdom, not to mention lung cancer?

We decided Grandma and Grandpa needed to be informed. We ran inside and drew "No Smoking" signs on paper plates.

Then we gathered outside in a circle around Grandma and Grandpa's trailer and chanted "PEOPLE THAT SMOKE— ARE PEOPLE THAT'LL CHOKE!"

We bellowed and marched, determined to educate our grandparents and bring them back to the fold.

My grandparents didn't say a word to us. They were so offended they simply packed their bags and drove back to Florida.

That day I learned a whopping lesson in tolerance and love. My grandparents were outstanding people. They were fully aware of the Word of Wisdom and lung cancer. It was not my place to judge them. More than a decade later, they were present at my marriage in the Portland Oregon Temple. They remained faithful to the gospel until the end of their lives.

How to explain these shades of gray to my children?

At the recent General Relief Society Broadcast, President Monson gave a remarkable talk on judging others.

It was a reminder to me that I teach my children right and wrong, but they learn to apply love and tolerance by watching my day-to-day actions. The application doesn't always happen in an instant. Sometimes it takes years for our children to really grasp these principles.

In the meantime, I will continue to gently remind my children that it is not their job to call the neighborhood kids to repentance. You can ride bikes on Sunday and still go to heaven. You can drink coffee and still be a fantastic kindergarten teacher.

You can smoke and learn to forgive an obstinate granddaughter brandishing a paper-plate sign, and love her enough to be present at her wedding.

The learning continues for all of us. You're never too old to stop judging.

[Elsie]

If we don't teach it to them, they'll learn to judge by the world's standards, which at the moment are pretty low.

They've GOT to be carefully taught!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lNqqvAv2SA

[Elsie]

 

This Mormon parent is teaching her Mormon children that the Bible is "incorrect" and if that's the "only" scripture he reads, he is somehow deficient & thereby suspect???

 

 

The 'little boy' is learning quite well!

 

From a VAGUE statement, found in the Mormon CREED; he gets the LDS Church teaching the same as EVE got the teaching from Satan:

 

Did GOD 'really' say...?         Genesis 3:1

 

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The Articles of Faith
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

 

 

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
   
2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.
   
3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.
   
4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
   
5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
   
6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
   
7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
   
8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
   
9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
   
10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.
    
11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
    
12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
    
13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Joseph Smith

[Elsie]

At the recent General Relief Society Broadcast, President Monson gave a remarkable talk on judging others.

 

But why waste time LISTENING to it; if it is NOT as authoritative as 'scripture'?

 

(Oh; I SEE why!)

 

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In conclusion let us summarize this grand key, these “Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet”, for our salvation depends on them.

1. The prophet is the only man who speaks for the Lord in everything.
2. The living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works.
3. The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet.
4. The prophet will never lead the church astray.
5. The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or credentials to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time.
6. The prophet does not have to say “Thus Saith the Lord,” to give us scripture.
7. The prophet tells us what we need to know, not always what we want to know.
8. The prophet is not limited by men’s reasoning.
9. The prophet can receive revelation on any matter, temporal or spiritual.
10. The prophet may advise on civic matters.
11. The two groups who have the greatest difficulty in following the prophet are the proud who are learned and the proud who are rich.
12. The prophet will not necessarily be popular with the world or the worldly.
13. The prophet and his counselors make up the First Presidency—the highest quorum in the Church.
14. The prophet and the presidency—the living prophet and the First Presidency—follow them and be blessed—reject them and suffer.

I testify that these fourteen fundamentals in following the living prophet are true. If we want to know how well we stand with the Lord then let us ask ourselves how well we stand with His mortal captain—how close do our lives harmonize with the Lord’s anointed—the living Prophet—President of the Church, and with the Quorum of the First Presidency.

Ezra Taft Benson

(Address given Tuesday, February 26, 1980 at Brigham Young University)

[Elsie]

Maam; go back to baking muffins and fixing green Jello©!

Your whole RELIGION is FOUNDED on JUDGING OTHERS!

[Elsie]

On the other hand, how many Christians actually adhere to the Bible when there are differences between what God says and what we actually want to do?

Who cares, as the thread is about SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Salt Lake City MORMONs do NOT follow what their GOD told them to do in D&C 132.

If anyone IS found in their midst that ACTUALLY follows D&C 132:58-66, they are EXCOMMUNICATED from the 'church'!

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(I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!)

[VermiciousKnid]

Ah...pierogies....smothered in butter and onions....I think I feel like making some pierogies today.

Thanks, Vlad!

[Elsie]

Somebody will be coming soon to call us “Pharisees”!

Why?

Hateful bigots is accurate enough!

--MormonDude(Have YOU heard the Good News® about the Restored Gospel©?)

[Elsie]

Please, put down the book of mormon and read the Bible some.

Perhaps that wasn't translated correctly in tghe Bible.

One can NEVER be TOO careful; especially in Religious Matters!

[Elsie]

The article left me with the same impression - that kids need to learn to tolerate the beliefs of others.

Bull!

If they REALLY believed and taught this to their kids; the source of obedient 'missionaries' would dry up and there would NOT be an ARMY; 52,000 strong, that would 'volunteer' to give up so many hours, going door to door, telling folks that MORMONs do NOT 'tolerate' the beliefs of others!

[Elsie]

With all the heinous, destructive people in the world, you choose to take on MORMONS?

Uh... because it is a heresy?

[Elsie]

 

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

 

I shouted, "Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

I said, "Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic scum!"

 

And I pushed him over.

[Elsie]

(I thought using all three names was reserved for serial killers or other infamous folk; like John Wayne Gacy and/or Lee Harvey Oswald or John Doyle Lee.)

[Elsie]

I think we learn something about people from who their enemies are.

And WE 'learn' about MORMONism by listening to what it's LEADERS say!

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LDS Apostle Bruce McConkie wrote,
"The Father is a glorified, perfected resurrected, exalted man who worked out his own salvation by obedience to the same laws he has given to us so that we may do the same."
(A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, pg. 64).

[who knows what evil?]

The crazy part is that these are overwhelmingly peaceful, law-abiding people who make no trouble for anybody.

Imagine these threads if Glenn Beck were a Jehovah's Witness?

[who knows what evil?]

OTOH the intolerance shown by some FReepers towards LDS reminds me of antisemitism.

...then they wonder why so many people in this country are 'intolerant' of 'Christians'...

[Tzfat]

Correct. So the resurrection could have taken place on Sat. Funnny, the Greek supports that idea as well. The English phase "the first day of the week" is not found anywhere in the New Testament. It is always "the first of Sabbaths" - the translators seem to be confused by a phrase used be Jews for the past 3500 years. It pertains to the feast of Shavout, not a day of the week.

[Elsie]

OTOH the intolerance shown by some FReepers towards LDS reminds me of antisemitism.

Likewise...

...the intolerance shown by SLC Mormons towards FLDS reminds me of HYPOCRACY

[Elsie]

LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

INSCRIBED WITH ALL FAITH AND AFFECTION

To all the little children: -- The happy ones; and sad ones;
The sober and the silent ones; the boisterous and glad ones;
The good ones -- Yes, the good ones, too; and all the lovely bad ones.

 

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L ITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,

An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,

An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,

An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;

An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,

We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun

A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,

An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you  

Ef you

Don't

Watch

Out!

 

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--

An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,

His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,

An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!

An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,

An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;

But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--

An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you

Ef you

Don't

Watch

Out!

 

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,

An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;

An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,

She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!

An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,

They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,

An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!

An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you

Ef you

Don't

Watch

Out!

 

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,

An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!

An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,

An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--

 

You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,

An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,

An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,

Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you

 

Ef you

Don't

Watch

Out!

[Elsie]

http://www.rileyfestival.com/

[sitetest]

Dear Legatus,

I've had LDS missionaries to my house any number of times over the years. I've never had any of them fail to affirm that their god has his own father-god, who has his own father-god, who has his own father-god,... well, you get the idea.

I HAVE noticed that in recent years, I get this caveat, “But we don't really know what that's all about, so we should just all acknowledge that we all pray to the same god.”

Which sounds reasonable enough, but then we get down to creation, and they readily affirm that they don't believe that God created everything ex nihilo. Rather, they affirm their belief that their god “created” by organizing pre-existing chaotic “stuff” into his “creation.”

They readily assert that their god is eternal. But when we get into the details, it turns out - we're ALL eternal, as we all existed as some sort of pre-existing unorganized intelligence or something (this is where I personally get fuzzy - I'm not sure whether unorganized intelligence exists separately from unorganized other stuff, or whether their god takes unorganized stuff and “makes” it into intelligent stuff which then can be made into souls).

No one has ever refuted my analogy that our God is the Founder of the Company, Chairman of the Board, building the business from literally nothing and their god is essentially a junior-level executive in a very large multi-level marketing organization, creating his own small empire within the firm from what already exists. Some of the missionaries actually chuckle at this. Others just grimace.

I've never had an LDS missionary fail to accept that we are of the same “substance” as their god. When I get into the idea that God is of divine, uncreated substance and their god is not, they tell me that their religion doesn't get too far into metaphysics. Which it doesn't. That's a fair cop, in my view.

Although I don't accept much of anything in LDS theology, I do very much like most of the LDS folks I've met in my life, and at one point, had a very dear friend who was LDS - we worked through our masters degree program together, and we relied on each other as we had to work through “group projects,” as we found that nearly everyone we ever came across in a group wouldn't pull their wait. My friend pulled his weight, and then some.

I also believe that although their theology isn't Christian, I think that it is very possible that many individual devout LDS folks have such a great love of God, that something along the lines of Baptism by Desire may effect, and in some sense, they are, as individuals, Christians, in spite of their wacky theology.

sitetest