Posted on 07/12/2010 10:20:55 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
1. Discuss the Fermi Paradox. Atheists love aliens because they always assume that, a) brainy creatures gushing out of every galactic cranny shows that Earth is low-rent cosmic real estate, and b) the smartest aliens will be atheists. Against this giddy optimism, the famous physicist Enrico Fermi asked a quite innocent question: If Earth is a typical planet, and there are lots of planets in the universe, then why havent any extraterrestrial critters dropped by, or even sent us a text message (ur nt solo, n btw ur nt vry smrt)?
2. Join Mensa. Atheists are obsessed with their IQs and they love to flaunt their membership in an organization of people dedicated to self-congratulation. The atheist assumption is that religion is a sure sign of evolutionary atavism. A devout believer whipping out his Mensa card is entirely incomprehensible and ultimately indigestible.
3. Bait and Switch # 1. Atheists love to talk about the Spanish Inquisition. Get them, ever so casually, to talk about persecution by zealous believers in general, and then the persecution by zealous Marxists in particular. Finally, since atheists like math, have them compare the number killed by the Inquisition over several centuries (2,000-6,000) with the number killed by devout Marxists in one century (100,000,000).
4. Bait and Switch # 2. Despite their pretence to moral relativity, atheists will still grant that Adolf Hitler was epically evil. Having gotten them to admit this point, offer to read aloud some of the most offending passages from Mein Kamp (a special copy of which you just happened to be carrying). After about a half-hour, suddenly strike a quizzical look and say, Wait a minute, removing the dust jacket, How did that happen? This is my copy of Margaret Sangers The Pivot of Civilization! Say, wasnt she the founder of Planned Parenthood?
5. Learn to talk like William F. Buckley. A comfortable prejudice for American atheists is that religious believers all speak with a heavy Southern accent and use small words.
6. Have Lots of Children. Atheists love humanity as long as there is less of it. They are especially grieved by biologically prodigious believers who seem to be taking Darwin at his word, but for all the wrong reasons. Nothing is more irksome than to behold their own future self-imposed extinction amidst the swelling tide of the God-fearing.
7. Host a Darwin Read-a-loud. Invite some atheist friends to read and discuss Darwin, and then read some purple passages from his Descent of Man where he waxes eloquently on the importance of eugenics, the biologically based moral and intellectual inferiority of lesser races, and the inevitable evolutionary extermination of the negro and the Australian.
8. Talk about the Impending Crash of the World Economy. Ideas have consequences, and some of the worst economic ideas were hatched by John Maynard Keynes. Make clear to your atheist interlocutor that the wide-scale adoption of Keynes conception of government as the grand fiddler micromanaging the economy through narcotic stimulation with freshly printed money is the single most important cause of the current American and European financial implosion. Then mention ever-so-casually, Wasnt Keynes an atheist?
9. Stage a Nietzsche Practicum. Atheists love the nihilistic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche who famously declared God is dead. More exactly, they love it in theory, but invariably cringe at the practical implications Nietzsche quite logically drew out: without God, there is no moral order and the strong should devour the weak, for life itself is will to power. Invite your favorite atheist to meet you for lunch to discuss Nietzsche. Order the most expensive meal on the menu, steal his iPhone while hes in the bathroom, and then at the end, stick him with the check. Then on the way out snatch the keys to his Saab and speed away in it singing at full lung, I love Nietzsche! Hes really rather peachy. A world devoid of moral qualms is far more fuuunnnn than one thats preachy teachy!
10. Assault Them with Charity (contd. from No. 9). Drive around the block to the restaurant again, and pull up to your fuming atheist friend. After returning the keys to his Saab and his iPhone, and shelling out your share of the tab, say I just cant bring myself to act as if God doesnt exist. Then, forever after treat him with unfailing kindness, as if he were Indian Untouchable and you were Mother Teresa.
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Benjamin Wiker is the author of 10 Books Every Conservative Must Read: Plus Four Not to Miss and One Impostor (one of the books being C. S. Lewis The Abolition of Man), and 10 Books that Screwed Up the World. His website is www.ameaningfulworldaudio.com
I always bring up the topic of Christians being fed to the lions by the Romans, then ask the question: "Are we to hate Italians for that?"
The fermi paradox assumes without warrant that faster than light travel is possible.
LOL
Excellent!
By that logic, the Emperor of Japan doesn't exist, either. After, all, he's never dropped by my house or sent me a message.
Actually, a lot of atheists love discussing possible solutions to the Fermi Paradox, of which there are many.
2. Join Mensa.
No problem with that - a lot of intelligent people are also emotionally very needy and cannot do without the fake comfort provided by an empirically unfounded belief system.
3. Bait and Switch # 1. Atheists love to talk about the Spanish Inquisition.
Actually, a lot of atheists are also political conservatives, who despise totalitarianism.
4. Bait and Switch # 2. Despite their pretence to moral relativity, atheists will still grant that Adolf Hitler was epically evil. [...] After about a half-hour, suddenly strike a quizzical look and say, Wait a minute, removing the dust jacket, How did that happen? This is my copy of Margaret Sangers The Pivot of Civilization! Say, wasnt she the founder of Planned Parenthood?
Actually, a lot of atheists are also political conservatives, who despise Planned Parenthood.
5. Learn to talk like William F. Buckley. A comfortable prejudice for American atheists is that religious believers all speak with a heavy Southern accent and use small words.
Ha-ha!
6. Have Lots of Children. Atheists love humanity as long as there is less of it.
Simply not true.
7. Host a Darwin Read-a-loud. Invite some atheist friends to read and discuss Darwin, and then read some purple passages from his Descent of Man where he waxes eloquently on the importance of eugenics, the biologically based moral and intellectual inferiority of lesser races, and the inevitable evolutionary extermination of the negro and the Australian.
It's not a problem for me to acknowledge that people 150 years ago adhered to different cultural mores.
8. Talk about the Impending Crash of the World Economy. Ideas have consequences, and some of the worst economic ideas were hatched by John Maynard Keynes. [...] Then mention ever-so-casually, Wasnt Keynes an atheist?
Keynes was wrong - as many atheists likewise believe.
9. Stage a Nietzsche Practicum. Atheists love the nihilistic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche who famously declared God is dead.
Well, I do admit to a liking for his "Fröhliche Wissenschaft," but many atheists are not apologists for Nietzsche.
10. Assault Them with Charity (contd. from No. 9).
My suggestion: Treat them with respect - just as they should treat you with respect.
Regards,
The good:
* Great point about the numbers killed in the inquisition. I didn’t know that, and will definitely use it!
The bad:
* I pulled up The Origin Of Species on Google Books. It doesn’t contain anything that you described. So I crossreferenced with the history of Eugenics. It was Darwin’s half-cousin Francis Galton who came up with it based on Darwin’s research, not Darwin himself. Darwin and he exchanged a number of letters, but Darwin apparently disagreed with his notions.
* Atheists usually like Keynsian economics, and credit the financial collapse to the world straying from Keynesian ideals and toward deregulation. Pointing out that Keynes was an atheist will just earn atheism brownie points to them.
* I don’t think you’ve actually read Nietzche.
Neutral:
* The charity one is good, but I’d do it differently — I’d simply point out that, despite all of the Humanist pontificating that they’re charitable out of their interests in the good of humanity, statistically, religious people give notably more.
None of this is insulting or upsetting in the least. In fact, there’s nothing here that would impact my life in any way.
Sorry guys!=)
In all fairness to Scripture, I’m pretty sure we are not supposed to be “baiting” people.
Great article! Thank you for posting this. I am putting my Mensa ring on and keeping it on right now!
You think this is excellent? As if belittling, trapping, ambushing, or criticizing them will somehow win them over to God?
The only item this list worth considering is #10, but even then I get the impression it is being mentioned almost tongue-in-cheek. As if it would be something you would purposefully do to wound them, rather than SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO.
My pastor gave a great sermon on this a while back. He basically said that we should be demonstrating why living a Christian life is so fulfilling instead of ATTACKING the lifestyles of others. I think I agree with him.
My suggestion: Learn to recognize a humor piece when you read one.
This article is going on my FB page.
Already sent it to my email contacts.
You don’t call yourself seekandfind
for nothing. LOL!
I always assume that people who feel compelled to write articles like this have serious insecurities about their own faith.
MENSA burp! :-)
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