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The Fine Art of Godly Mockery
Zianet ^ | April 20, 2003 | Al Maxey

Posted on 03/23/2010 10:58:16 AM PDT by delacoert

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To: svcw

You CAN say both!

(When you're MORMON...)

141 posted on 03/27/2010 6:41:02 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: reaganaut

Say!

Where's my TREAT?

142 posted on 03/27/2010 6:43:03 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie
So the reality is with lds, it can be whatever they say at any given moment at any given time and what they said before does count because it is what they are saying now that is what they believe but what they say in a moment or two is what they believe and you can never ever ask them about what they said before because that doesn't count.

Is that pretty much it?

143 posted on 03/27/2010 6:44:51 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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To: svcw
Is that pretty much it?
I guess one could say it like that; but when we have the ACTUAL words of a Living Prophet® of MORMONism...

 

In conclusion let us summarize this grand key, these “Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet”, for our salvation depends on them.


1. The prophet is the only man who speaks for the Lord in everything.
2. The living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works.
3. The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet.
4. The prophet will never lead the church astray.
5. The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or credentials to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time.
6. The prophet does not have to say “Thus Saith the Lord,” to give us scripture.
7. The prophet tells us what we need to know, not always what we want to know.
8. The prophet is not limited by men’s reasoning.
9. The prophet can receive revelation on any matter, temporal or spiritual.
10. The prophet may advise on civic matters.
11. The two groups who have the greatest difficulty in following the prophet are the proud who are learned and the proud who are rich.
12. The prophet will not necessarily be popular with the world or the worldly.
13. The prophet and his counselors make up the First Presidency—the highest quorum in the Church.
14. The prophet and the presidency—the living prophet and the First Presidency—follow them and be blessed—reject them and suffer.

I testify that these fourteen fundamentals in following the living prophet are true. If we want to know how well we stand with the Lord then let us ask ourselves how well we stand with His mortal captain—how close do our lives harmonize with the Lord’s anointed—the living Prophet—President of the Church, and with the Quorum of the First Presidency.

Ezra Taft Benson

(Address given Tuesday, February 26, 1980 at Brigham Young University)

 


 


144 posted on 03/27/2010 7:26:00 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: restornu
I am looking forward to the day the deminted potty spam poster is asked to leave the thread!

Ezekiel 23:19-21
19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

145 posted on 03/27/2010 7:31:17 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: svcw

bitttt


146 posted on 03/27/2010 8:51:31 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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To: svcw

Naughty naughty trying to spin again!...


147 posted on 03/27/2010 8:54:06 AM PDT by restornu
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To: restornu; reaganaut; T Minus Four
Your post #106 "..it (Salvation) isn’t conditional upon your ‘works”.

My post #107 "Well, finally you admit the truth."

Your post #113 "Those are reaganaut words..."

My #115 "Well, then sorry I gave you credit."

Your "silence"

My post #140 "So when you say those are reaganaut words.............Are you now saying that lds believe that salvation comes though works? Because you posted to me that salvation comes from grace and that works has nothing to do with it. So which is it grace or works? You have now said both in a matter of two days."

Your #147 "Naughty naughty trying to spin again!..."

Yours from Satire and Sarcasm

March 24, 2010 4:27:17 PM PDT · 59 of 162 restornu to T Minus Four

Where you end up is by how much light you have in your lamp!

So restornu what you wrote: Where you end up is by how much light you have in your lamp! Is works.

I will ask you again is Salvation by works or Grace? It cannot be both.

148 posted on 03/27/2010 9:14:23 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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To: T O; the; Spammer
Again I am looking forward to the day the deminted reprobate spam poster is asked to leave the thread for engaging in contrary ways of the Lord!

Rom. 1:

27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

149 posted on 03/27/2010 9:22:58 AM PDT by restornu
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To: svcw

wow, contending with yourself again!


150 posted on 03/27/2010 9:24:34 AM PDT by restornu
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To: restornu
"And the wicked also crucified the Lord and many of His other prophets and apostles!

Resty, what would or would not have happened if Jesus Christ WASN'T crucified by the "wicked"?

And as a point of order, not all of the prophets and apostles were crucified. Many died in other ways, some more terrible than crucifixion.

For your edification:

1 Matthew Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, killed by a sword wound

2 Mark Died in Alexandria, Egypt, after being dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.

3 Luke Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost.

4 John Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos. The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey. He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully.

5 Peter He was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die in the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6 James Just The leader of the church in Jerusalem, was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller’s club. * This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7 James the Great Son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem . The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8 Bartholomew Also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9 Andrew Was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: ‘I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it.’ He continued to preach to his tormentors for two days until he expired.

10 Thomas Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the sub-continent.

11 Jude Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12 Matthias The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.

13 Paul Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: But he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

151 posted on 03/27/2010 10:00:08 AM PDT by SZonian (We began as a REPUBLIC, a nation of laws. We became a DEMOCRACY, majority rules. Next step is?)
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To: restornu; All
my 'babies'(Stanley is the black one) taken at Christmas. Stanley thinks his 'job' in life is to annoy Ronnie.

Photobucket

152 posted on 03/27/2010 10:02:15 AM PDT by reaganaut ("I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see")
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To: reaganaut

I had a grey and orange tabbies...

Thanks for sharing your cute furbabies they look so cozy!:)


153 posted on 03/27/2010 10:11:51 AM PDT by restornu
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To: restornu
Because you are unwilling to answer this question: I will ask you again is Salvation by works or Grace? It cannot be both. I will take your silence as an admission you do not know the answer.
154 posted on 03/27/2010 10:13:32 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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To: svcw; restornu

Are you now saying that lds believe that salvation comes though works? Because you posted to me that salvation comes from grace and that works has nothing to do with it.

- - - - - - - - -
Whether or not salvation depends upon works or grace depends on if you are talking about ‘physical or universal salvation’ (resurrection) or ‘personal salvation’. Even with personal salvation, it depends upon if you are talking about all 3 levels of Heaven or the presence of God the Father and Exaltation.

And they can split hairs on it even further by redefining Grace.


155 posted on 03/27/2010 10:14:10 AM PDT by reaganaut ("I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see")
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To: reaganaut
How hard it must be to be so confused and unsure.
156 posted on 03/27/2010 10:15:33 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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To: Elsie

You can get him to shake hands? LOL. What do they eat for treats


157 posted on 03/27/2010 10:17:46 AM PDT by reaganaut ("I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see")
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To: restornu

They are so cute and real love bugs. They are both rescue animals (Stanley nearly froze to death which is why we think he has the brain damage).

I would love a dog but mrreaganaut is highly allergic. I used to have a Harlequin great dane that was the sweetest thing.


158 posted on 03/27/2010 10:36:18 AM PDT by reaganaut ("I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see")
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To: svcw

There is no assurance of what Christians would call Salvation in the LDS.

If you ask an LDS if they KNOW they will make it to the Celestial kingdom the response is always something like “Well, I hope so”.

It is sad. Also there is this whole ‘the Holy Spirit will leave you if you are not worthy’ and ‘God’s love is conditional upon your obedience’, which adds to the insecurity.

I know if I sin, I grieve God but I also know that, as a believer, His Spirit will never leave me and He still loves me. That is a real comfort when I am struggling against my flesh and sinful nature.


159 posted on 03/27/2010 10:39:23 AM PDT by reaganaut ("I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see")
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To: reaganaut
I know if I sin, I grieve God but I also know that, as a believer, His Spirit will never leave me and He still loves me. That is a real comfort when I am struggling against my flesh and sinful nature.

Amen!

160 posted on 03/27/2010 11:02:04 AM PDT by svcw (Jesus comforts the uncomfortable and makes uncomfortable the comfortable.)
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