Posted on 03/17/2009 6:57:11 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
Did you know that Joel Osteen is kicking it old school now? And by old school, I mean Old Testament. Straight outta Hebron!
The new-agey motivational speaker preacher at Lakewood Church took a bizarrely old-fashioned approach recently when he advised his congregation against eating both pork and seafood, saying that "...for our health's sake, we have to be willing to make some changes."
He further explained his newfound nutritional path to salvation with deeply theological phrases like "back in the Bible days" and "this is kinda gross" before launching into a detailed diatribe about the inherent filth and evil associated with porcine digestive tracts.
He appealed to his followers, "I know some of you love pork chops. You love ham and cheese sandwiches. I grew up on all that. I love...bacon." (The marked pause makes me think Joel doesn't really love bacon.) But that they should follow the example set by his family -- who now eats turkey bacon -- and give up pork "to honor God."
He goes on to declare that his congregation should also avoid shellfish: "Shrimp, crabs, clams, oysters, lobsters..." because they eat the "excreetment [sic]" of other animals.
One can only assume that someone inadvertently left a Bible in the men's room at Lakewood, opened to Leviticus, and Joel -- since he hadn't brought his copy of The Six Figure Speaker with him that day -- read it to pass the time.
And having little to no theological education -- by his own admission -- nor context within which to understand the Old Testament's strictly-defined dietary laws, Joel interpreted the Bible's weird front pages that no one ever reads to mean that pork and seafood should be off-limits to Christians. Because, clearly, other Biblical scholars have been mistaken about this for years.
Good work, Joel! I look forward to your next sermon, wherein you discuss the segregation of women into red tents during their scary menstrual cycle each month. In the meantime, I'll be eating a SCCOLBLT. That's a shrimp-crab-clam-oyster-lobster-bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich, Philistine.
St. Paul appears to have been on your side: "There is no Jew or Greek," ... "neither is circumcision of any value, nor uncircumcision," and so on.
Excellent, and thanks, I took two years of Attic Greek myself, was able to read the GNT pretty well at one time, thank you very much for that.
My youngest daughter's husband is an avid hunter. When he bags a boar, he calls home and tells her to fire up the backhoe and dig a pit. She was once a skinny, squeemish, almost vegetarian blonde that ate little meat, and wouldn't be in the same room with a fish.
She now eats everything, and even happily digs pits with a "stinky, noisy tractor."
Understood, but there once was a very valid reason not to eat pork, prior to modern farming, and ready access to biological testing.
Did you get the “Bacon Explosion” link yet? If not, let me know and I’ll put it up for you.
Seems like old Joel has simply decided to believe God and do what He says on this.
Don’t forget, people who are teaching false doctrines don’t teach 100% false all the time, they mix the error in with truth.
http://www.forgottenword.org/meyers.html
http://www.trinityfi.org/press/JoyceMeyer6.html
http://www.pfo.org/wan-star.htm
http://www.trinityfi.org/press/JoyceMeyer2.html
http://www.libertytothecaptives.net/joyce_meyer_beware.html
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/joyce_meyers-heretic.htm
I disagree with that assertion, but that is okay.
Oh, I did. I think I gained five pounds, and at least 30 points on my LDL count, just reading it.
>>
Actually, what it appears that Supercesionists mean when they quote from Galatians 3:28 is that all Jews are supposed to look and act like pagan Gentiles<<
Actually, the way I would put it is that Christian Jews are supposed to live as Christian Gentiles. And vice-versa.
I don’t know about that “Supercesionist” thing.
>>
“...neither male nor female... So... men dressing up in women’s clothing is OK? Or, is there still some sort of distinction in male and female?<<
Context is your friend. It is critical, actually.
Who'd a thunk they'd do sumpin' like dat?
Thanks for your insightful post.
“God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fertile, increase in number, and fill the earth. All the wild animals and all the birds will fear you and be terrified of you. Every creature that crawls on the ground and all the fish in the sea have been put under your control. Everything that lives and moves will be your food. I gave you green plants as food; I now give you everything else. But you are not to eat meat with blood in it. (Blood is life.)” Genesis 9:1-4
And you quoted from 1 Timothy - “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer”
We live this way. Prayer changes everything. We are not under law, rather we are under God’s grace. And what does it mean, when God said to Noah, “Everything that lives and moves will be your food”?
I agree with you, and I also do not trust Mr O. I have listened to a sermon or two of his, and have no desire to listen to more.
***By all means, yes, lets stone a policeman and fireman to death for cutting a traffic victim out of a burning car to save their life on the SABBATH!!!****
Last year I had two little children come to my house. They had wandered away from home and got caught in a terrific rainstorm. They were both soaked to the skin. They had stopped to ask for help at five(5) Seventh Day Adventist houses near here and were rebuffed each time.
The SDA people would not get off their dead butts to help these soaked children because it was their Sabbath.
I wrote a hot post on FR but it was pulled after about 30 minutes. I have NO use for SDA self righteousness.
You don’t believe that trickenosis was a serious threat?
In the center of mine, instead of bacon I chopped and sauteed red and yellow bell pepper, purple onion, garlic, mushrooms, and put the layer of them over the layer of sausage. Then, when I rolled it up and cooked it, it made a colorful pinwheel inside the sausage.
I served it in 1/2 in slices on Grands biscuits. I had also made giant cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, and served all that with those big California navel oranges. I’m telling you, we ate for like an hour.
All of us have had a year of stopping smoking, losing weight, being super healthy, this weekend was just a foodie weekend. I baked like a fiend. German chocolate cake, tollhouse cookies with pecans and choc chips, homemade bread, a plain yellow cake to serve the strawberries and whipped cream over...
The big hit was the bacon explosion, though. There were ten of us eating, and there are leftovers I threw in the freezer because I just can’t bear the thought of any more tempting delicious outstanding beautiful pork....I normally wake early, so I had it in the oven around 6 a.m. and around 8:30 took it out, we ate around 9 a.m. till 10...
ps I hope brie is okay on Fridays, that and those tiny wheat crackers are delectable. Sometimes I serve it with raspberries, but I love plain brie...
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