Posted on 05/19/2008 9:26:54 AM PDT by Between the Lines
I wonder how they would they feel if another autistic child kicked their autistic child’s ass.
Sounds like Lenny in Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men: "I didn't meant to hurt the rabbit, George, I just wanted to pet it.." Lenny was very likely based on a person who was similarly afflicted.
If they have trouble restraining their child during service, perhaps they should take advantage of a televised service. I’m sure they could find one that would satisfy their spiritual needs.
The “kid” (not really at over 250#) in our neighborhood got caught with a “collection” of hood ornaments... he had snuck out of the house and pulled every hood ornament off every car in about three blocks when the caught him...
Autism effects interaction with people more than things. If you think about that, it can be dangerous to people around them…
This type of behavior is unacceptable. He’s not just making the occasional noise which we all just have to deal with from time to time. He is aggressive. I don’t understand why these parents haven’t made some effort to find care for him during this time. I agree 100% in including these kids in everything that is possible & not treating him as an outcast. But they need to understand limitations & boundaries. They, possibly with the help of the church need to find someone to care for him so they can attend & participate at church.
They should look into some type of respite care though local organizations if there is no family or regular caregiver to help. Believe me I understand the phenomenal responsibly & stresses of caring for him, but they have to be realistic & accept that people should be able to go to church & not fear for their safety. They need to make some kind of arrangements for his care during services.
The child I saw on TV wasn’t obese but very big. I’m afraid he may be too big. too strong & too out of control for the parents at some point. Looks like it may be getting there fast.
He also one time assaulted a girl by pulling her onto his lap and, during Easter mass, ran to the parking lot and got into two vehicles, starting them and revving the engine, Walz alleged.
"There were people directly in front of the car who could have been injured or killed if he had put the car in gear," Walz wrote.
Adam's parents have to sit on him and sometimes tie his hands and feet to get control of him, Walz wrote.
May be time to call these guys:
Occasions such as manic episodes?
I work at a private college library. We get non-students coming in to use it because they complained of the homeless problem at the public libraries. I myself used to see drunks, perverts, psychos there. Recently one guy was walking around the main room talking to himself & threatening violence, till the staff people had to usher him out.
This has become an issue even in library school, according to a former co-worker. Although these people should be treated with sympathy, somewhere along the line the rights of "normals," let alone their boundaries, have been trampled on. To what extent do we cater to mental illness, especially at the expense of others?
I’d like to know that too. There’s bound to be a way for this family to be helped but it sounds like they want to do what they want to do. The heck with everybody else. Parents with special needs kids need to understand (and most DO) that there must be compromise. It would be wrong for the church to say “figure it out, good luck”. But it’s equally wrong for the parents to say “deal with it, too bad”. People should not have to stay away from church because they have a special needs child but people should not have to fear for their safety or deal with sanitation issues either. There has to be a way for them to work it out together, but we don’t know what’s been offered & what’s been refused.
I believe in this case taking it to the police is a wise decision. Among other things, the parents will be subject to Discovery and will be examined under oath and on the record as to what this child in fact does, what they were offered and why they refused, and what their expectations are of the church.
They will also be required to have an impartial expert examine their son and give a report as to what his handicap is and what reasonable people must expect him to do as he develops. (For one thing, although his brain may be two years old, his hormones are not. Think of the day he grabs some girl, whether in the church or somewhere else, and his parents are unable to restrain him.)
I agree with the poster who said that the parents are probably enraged at the world and want everyone else to suffer along with them — but perhaps not to punish the world, only to cry out to it.
I pray they will find the help they need before their son kills someone.
I’ll side with the church and priest based on what I’ve read here. Perhaps they could set up a web cam and let the family enjoy the service from their own home.
But you can’t take communion through the screen. Parents of special needs children also need to interact with people & have contact with their priest or pastor. This has a resolution. Someone isn’t willing. At the moment it sounds like it’s the parents. They need to have someone who is capable of dealing with special needs children & in this case someone who can deal with his size to care for him so they can attend. The church should work with them in finding that person. For all we know they may have but the parents are being difficult.
Unlike my confession, Catholics can receive communion in private masses, or even outside of mass (Code of Canon Law 918). In addition, while the Catholic church encourages frequent observance of the sacrament, it is only required to be observed once a year. (Catechism 1389).
Parents of special needs children also need to interact with people & have contact with their priest or pastor.
Agreed, but how much interaction can you have while sitting on your child or tying him down? Ideally, the church would provide folks who could care for the child for a few hours while the parents worship and fellowship, but given how out of control this child is, it probably isn't a practical alternative.
No, that’s not what I’m saying. They need someone to care for this child—as in not bringing him to church. They need to find some form of respite care. That way they can attend church without having to deal with the situation every second. Working with the right people this IS available for special needs children. But just from the information we’ve heard so far it appears the parents have rejected alternatives offered to them. But having someone to care for him away from the church setting appears to be the best thing for everyone.
I agree with that statement, but he may be past that stage.
If he likes the sound of cars revving, get him a set of headphones, and loop a recording of the sound for him.
I’m afraid (from what we’ve heard so far) it sounds like they are allowing his disability to be an excuse for his behavior. I have to wonder if this kid is taking any kind of meds. I understand the desire to avoid it if possible but sometimes it has to be done just to make the situation manageable. Meds & autistic kids can be hit & miss but when you find the right one it can be an incredible blessing for everyone especially the child. One of my concerns is that if these parents don’t get his behavior under control he will end up in a group home where they WILL medicate him. I don’t wish that for any of these kids. But at 13 & that size he is going to get bigger, stronger & more difficult to control.
Said girl (or said girl's father/brother/boyfriend/whatever) may very likely "restrain" him, with deadly force. This individual's disability will not make his assault look any less like an assault, and it will not make deadly force used in self defense any less deadly.
I sometimes wonder if parents who insist on mainstreaming their profoundly mentally disabled have truly considered the unintended consequences.
Jesus wants all people to be at Mass. He walked to the houses of the sick . Padre Pio heard confessions many hours each day, I think it was 18 hours, I know it was alot. And he said Mass. He had the stigmata and he was in pain. A priest can go to the house of this family of such a sick child to say Mass for them. Problem solved. This sick child is that important in God’s eyes. We as Catholics are called to be Saints.
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