Posted on 05/19/2008 9:26:54 AM PDT by Between the Lines
BERTHA, Minn. (AP) - A Catholic priest has filed a restraining order against the parents of a severely autistic 13-year-old boy in an effort to keep him from attending the church here on Sundays.
The Rev. Daniel Walz alleges that Adam Race's unruly behavior endangers others who attend the Church of St. Joseph.
Race's parents have ignored the restraining order, calling it discriminatory, and Carol Race, Adam's mother, was cited by police and is due to appear in court on Monday for violating the order.
"He said that we did not discipline our son. He said that our son was physically out of control and a danger to everyone at church," Carol Race said. "I can't discipline him out of his autism, and I think that's what our priest is expecting."
Carol Race said it all started last June, when Walz and a church trustee visited the Races at their home address the behavior of Adam, who stands taller than six feet and weighs more than 225 pounds.
In an affidavit, Walz said the church "explored and offered many options for accommodations that would assist the family while protecting the safety of parishioners. The family refused those offers of accommodation."
Carol Race said the family of seven, which has attended St. Joseph since 1996, typically sat in the cry room or in the back pew to keep avoid disrupting the services and did not hear a complaint from the parishioners until Walz showed up at their home in June.
Even after the restraining order was served, the family continued going to the church and would leave during the closing hymn to avoid contact with others, Carol Race said.
The Diocese of St. Cloud issued a statement saying the petition was filed "as a last resort out of a growing concern for the safety of parishioners and other community members due to disruptive and violent behavior on the part of that child."
Walz said the boy's behavior worsened over time, telling authorities that Adam has been "extremely disruptive and dangerous" since last summer.
According to Walz, Adam struck a child during mass, nearly knocks elderly parishioners over when he hastily exits the church, spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights when he is being restrained.
He also one time assaulted a girl by pulling her onto his lap and, during Easter mass, ran to the parking lot and got into two vehicles, starting them and revving the engine, Walz alleged.
"There were people directly in front of the car who could have been injured or killed if he had put the car in gear," Walz wrote.
Adam's parents have to sit on him and sometimes tie his hands and feet to get control of him, Walz wrote.
Carol Race has an answer to each complaint.
She said her son makes spitting faces but doesn't spit and acknowledged he has occasional problems with incontinence. She says that she and her husband sit on Adam because their weight calms him down, which is why he pulled the girl onto him.
She also said they do use soft straps to bind Adam's hands and feet on occasion because it calms him, as does the revving sound of engines, which is why he started the cars.
Some disability advocates are getting behind the Races.
"It's unfathomable and concerns me that we've taken a situation with special needs and we're making it into the criminal matter," said Brad Trahan, the founder of the RT Autism Awareness Foundation in Rochester, who has asked the bishop of St. Cloud to rescind the restraining order.
Carol Race just hopes the ugly back-and-forth doesn't tarnish the image of the church.
"The church isn't bad," she said. "But it's what some individuals do within the church."
The kids has an excuse for his dementia-type behaviors- the parents who are in denial are the ones who are truly nuts.
“A handicap is not carte blanche to do anything you like, anywhere you like.”
I remember this was a storyline in South Park and Family Guy.
She also said they do use soft straps to bind Adam's hands and feet on occasion because it calms him, as does the revving sound of engines, which is why he started the cars.
You have to SIT on your child? And because you must do so, you thought it perfectly reasonable that he pulled a girl onto himself?? Occasional problems with incontinence??
Any adult with these problems would not be allowed unfettered access to a public place such as a church -- are we to proclaim any time the safety of the public outweighs the personal needs of one individual it is always discrimination, unfair, mean??
Last time I checked, the cry room was provided so that the concentration/praying of rest of the congregation would not be interrupted by infants. I don't believe that for a 225-pound youth who is unable to control his actions unless his parents are sitting on him, this is a reasonable option.
My mother was physically unable to attend Mass for several years -- Monsignor Cronin brought Holy Communion to her every week, and I recall a few occasions where he said Mass in our home, other family, neighbors attending. This family does not have to disrupt an entire church this way in order for them to practice the Faith.
This church does too and the family sometimes used it. I can only speculate that the boy also caused disruptions in the cry room.
It is a simple problem to fix, use adult diapers.
You know you’re going to get castigated for that one, don’t you?
Thanks for the laugh.
Yours insensitively,
Most Definitelynotaliberal
Dear Parents,
The world is not your daycare center.
At 6 feet tall, he’s overweight, but not necessarily obese. Given the way he behaves in church, I can just imagine what happens at home in the kitchen if anyone tries to stop him from taking whatever food he wants. Scary thing is, he’s 6 feet and 225 pounds at age 13! He’s still growing! These parents need to get a clue, and understand that their son is soon going to need to be either institutionalized or drugged into a stupor 24/7. Arguing about whether he should be allowed to attend Mass is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
I know that I have a nine-month old, and we avail ourselves of the crying room for a bit almost every week. I don’t think I’d be happy with a 225-pound maniac hitting people, hollering and p*ssing all over the crying room.
While I applaud their efforts to mainstream their son and while I feel for their difficulties, I don't see how their pastor could allow this behavior to continue - especially when you have someone assaulting other parishioners and breaking into cars.
He says he offered accomodation: what did he offer?
I’m not sure if 6” and 225 pounds is “obese.”
Actually, six inches tall and 225 pounds is extremely obese.
But I’m not sure six feet tall and 225 pounds is obese.
No kidding. Wake up lady!
The world is not your daycare center.
&&
I have seen parents of this type. I always get the feeling that they are mad at the world and think the rest of us should share in their suffering.
I feel for these parents, and I am sure that their life is difficult, but their fellow-parishioneris should not be held hostage to this kind of behavior.
Restraining someone 225lbs. is awfully difficult. I thought was pretty capable until the first time a mental patient, male, about my size threw me across the room.
The family needs to leave him at home. It is unreasonable to expect society to adapt to a clearly out-of-control adolescent.
I saw this kid and he is not obese. He is huge and looks like he would be tough to handle. He is over six feet tall, broad shouldered and I can definitely see people fearing for their safety if he got out of control.
I saw video of the story on Fox this morning. He reminds me of an autistic boy that grew up a few doors from us. That kid ended up 6’-6” plus and over 250 lbs with all the social skills of a two year old. They can get VERY disruptive... Autistic children are seldon intentionally violent, but can easily cause harm without ever understanding what they have done...
They were offered a private room behind the altar....they refused.
'Nuff said.
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