Posted on 01/17/2008 9:44:33 AM PST by Alex Murphy
Because I'm a Mormon, I will pick on Mormons first. Frankly, a lot of us are mired so deep in the LDS culture that we haven't a clue how to make friends with people who aren't carbon copies of us.
Today's column is a primer on how to make friends with a gentile. A problem exists in large part because of how we categorize other people. There's the word - non, gentile, other - that we use to refer to people who aren't us. Sometimes we never get past it.
For example, my friend Sonny is a non-Mormon. For some Mormons, that would be the first thing Sonny is. For stupid Mormons, it's the only thing he ever will be.
Sonny is other stuff, too. Mostly he's nuts. This makes him the perfect friend for me. The only time religion ever comes between us is when I pray while Sonny does whatever the hell it is that normal people call driving.
Not all Mormons are fortunate to have such high-quality non-Mormon friends. Well, they don't just happen. You have to make them. But first, you have to recognize the need.
Next time you're having a party, look around the room. How many non-Mormons do you see? If most of the people in the room are from your ward, you need some gentile in your life. Bad.
No fair using token gentiles, either. Co-workers, neighbors and the guy who fixes your car do not count. They have to be real friends, the sort of people you want to hang with.
The first thing you need to do is get over your booze phobia. Not all gentiles drink, but enough of them do, so you can't let this be a sticking point in a friendship.
Alcohol is not inherently bad. Overindulgence is bad. And that's something that cuts both ways. You don't want a drunk for a friend any more than a gentile wants a priss for one. If you draw the line at offering alcohol to your new friend, at least learn what BYOB means. I have to bring my own diet Coke to Sonny's house.
Next, be prepared for the conversation to wander outside the ward boundaries. Lots of really interesting people don't have a clue what happened in Relief Society last week, and they don't count it as a loss.
Be respectful of your friends' religious beliefs. They might be Catholic, Druid, Jewish or, heck, maybe even Southern Baptist. Belief is relative, and yours is every bit as bizarre.
And cool it with the missionary effort, OK? The only thing that ruins a friendship faster than sex, money or politics is religion. Frankly, if your friend ever does choose to convert, it's always better if it's in spite of rather than because of you.
It won't be easy. You can't treat making friends with gentiles like another church assignment. The common interest doesn't come built in. You have to find it.
Best of all, it will be worth it.
Same here. As I was posting I was trying to figure out the last time I hung out with a church member besides at church, I couldn’t think of one.
Course I do always end up being the designated driver....
My friend responded "thats ok, we don't like them either"
One Mormon author once wrote "Mormons are like fertilizer-- If you pile it all up on one spot it stinks.... but if you spread it around it does a lot of good"
We are not literally calling anyone a 'gentile'.
****Heck....Fproy....the same could be said for the young men...that have come to my door for the last 30 years.
BTW, why haven’t any young women knocked on my door? My daughters asked me that...and I’ve no answer.****
Hasn’t stopped the JWs though. Invite them in, soon they want to leave but I won’t let go of them yet. It’s more fun with the AC off in the hot summer.
They rarely come back even though I’m frendly and willing to talk with them.
“it will soon be taken over by those who, for reasons of their own, choose to put down my Church, and those of us who worship with it.”
You know, there is a big difference between, putting something down, and pointing out it’s perceived flaws.
When you hear this LDS member say that he won’t hang out with non-members, does he then respond that he pities the missionaries who have to go out into the wild and find them to convert?
Yes it's the Mormons bashing Mormons thread!
My LDS parents won't move to Utah. Reason..."Too many Mormons", says my Dad.
Mormons, or "Jack" Mormons?
What happens is too many people there get too complacent and just like with most places it has a 'small town mentality'.
Not knocking small towns, but if you live next door to Jim for 20 years and you know everyone in town... if someone new moves in, it can appear that it is somewhat of a good old boy system.
That being said, I figured I would have hated Utah and on some fronts yes, but on other fronts I had a really great time there.
First off I have learned to despise snow. If I ever shovel another spoonful of the stuff it will be too soon. None the less though I went in to Utah completely biased against the place but I ended up having a great time overall.
In the summer there is some awesome things to do if you are an outdoors person and yes, most people are very very nice.
Sometimes though even being nice turns people off. It comes across sometimes as too leave it to beaver, especially to those who want to remain a little rough around the edges. If you laugh at jokes with too much profanity in them (IE Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, etc) you might not fit in to well in Utah.
=+=+=
You know, there is a big difference between, putting something down, and pointing out its perceived flaws.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yes there is.
Now watch and see how the Radical Christians “point out” the “perceived flaws”.
Define "literally" please.
I see the misuse of the word "Gentile" by Mormons on this board quite often, and the author of this article even uses it.
Moreover, I can find it Mormon literature and atricles all over the net.
Since antiquity, the correct use of that term is to describe non-Jewish persons and non-Jewish nations.
Your posting to me sounded like "It depends on what the definition of 'is' is."
And get others to BELIEVE it!
I know the feeling!
When someone actually KNOWS something from the Bible, they tend to FREAK!
http://scriptures.lds.org/en/js_h/1/19#19
17 It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the otherThis is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!
18 My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)and which I should join.
19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.
20 He again forbade me to join with any of them; and many other things did he say unto me, which I cannot write at this time. When I came to myself again, I found myself lying on my back, looking up into heaven. When the light had departed, I had no strength; but soon recovering in some degree, I went home. And as I leaned up to the fireplace, mother inquired what the matter was. I replied, Never mind, all is wellI am well enough off. I then said to my mother, I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism is not true.
Now you KNOW that MORMON descriptions of words are difference than the mainstream.
Unlike some people they are not so serious 'all the time'...
For example a friend was having a birthday party and while there someone started ordering a bunch of drinks.
Understandibly someone who was raised in Provo would go "oh man these guys are boozing it up right in front of me"....
In response one Mormon said to another Mormon "what do think, they are a bunch of gentiles or something?"
Meaning, 'live with it and have fun. Not everyone on the planet is a Mormon, and yes some people do drink beer.'
Its kind of like a call to still be good but don't be so sheltered. Just because they drink beer doesn't mean they have leprosy.
There is another use of the word in Mormon slang... One of my friends had a date with a completely hot girl who was not LDS... Before he left some of the guys were jiving him....'don't go all gentile on us...'...meaning 'keep the faith bro'....
20 something year olds generally don't think about antiquity and dictionary definitions when they are talking about this stuff.
20 something year olds generally don’t think about antiquity and dictionary definitions when they are talking about this stuff.***
In this area we call the Seventh-day Adventists “Cabbage Crunchers” because so many hold to strict vegetarianism.
They refer to us as “Pork Rinds”.
Saturday Night Live is also a standard fare, or at least was.
I think they took a lot of Gentile thing from both of those too.
“Now watch and see how the Radical Christians point out the perceived flaws.”
Why is this a problem to you? You said yourself that: “We find no problem with people who really want to talk to us about converting to their religion, “We find no problem with people who really want to talk to us about converting to their religion,”.
From an Evangelical Christian point of view, if there was nothing wrong with Mormonism, no flaws, then no one would want you to convert to anything else.
I’m no Mormon expert, by any means. But from the little I know of it, Mormonism seems to be deeply flawed when compared to the Bible. I would never mock Mormons for their beliefs. I may have scorn for the beliefs themselves, but I would not scorn you for believing it.
And I think that’s where the trouble is. Many Mormons here perceive any challenge to the Mormon belief system as a personal attack or an example of “anti-Mormon bigotry”.
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