I'm not so sure that's a list. You should check it twice.
Posted on 12/15/2006 9:25:24 AM PST by xzins
As has been established by wHOLY Neener Traditon, the Lord High Protector, and various bodies and agencies that are all unlisted, the neener recruiting and or humor drive is hereby declared for this estimable Freitag.
Those who desire entry to the grand fellowship must publish one story of rejection from grpl-dom OR they can be a NEENER FOR A DAY provided:
1. They keep no lists. Lists are Verboten in der Neener Reich!
2. They publish at least one reasonably humorous (but clean) JOKE! (Lawyer jokes are encouraged; those that cut down Methodist Chaplains are frowned upon!)
Ping
The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa"
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa"
11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
17. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
18. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
That looks suspiciously like a list.
I'm not so sure that's a list. You should check it twice.
It's not a WORSHIP list....it's a VENERATION list.
Need I say more??!
I've never paid for sex in my life. And that's really pissed off a lot of prostitutes.
I will vote for Loki to be a neener for a day because Ebay rejected his bid.
That's similar to grpl rejecting his membership.
And it's sort of a funny story.
What says the Lord High Protector?
That's table pounding, and a non sequiter you silly
Guilty as charged of being non-sequitur. I'm too dignified to table pound, so that can't be what that is.
FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:
5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."
Ping, for Pete's sake.
I'm so good at not keeping lists that I also don't keep memories. :>)
Dr E and two OTHER blondes went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, DrE turned to the other blondes and said, "I'm
chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a Methodist army chaplain hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the pastor, "Where are you going, Chaplain?"
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the chaplain
"No problem, ! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy minister climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a minister in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the chaplain and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
"That's okay", replied the minister. "I got him with the door!"
Rotflol!
I can imagine the guy that did that...probably a Stephen Wright freak from Calif....a Cav Chapel type dude.
I remember in Oklahoma you'd occasionally see armadillo road kill holding up a beer bottle. Near Muskogie, I think it was a Chak (Choc?) Bottle.
Wholesome Methodist Chaplain jokes, such as that one, are certainly in order.
You, of course, hit the Daily Double with the concurrent Lawyer theme.
If you're not a neener, because we keep no lists I have no idea, I think you should be made a Neener for a Week!
What say ye, LHP?
Dr. Eckleburg is blonde? No I think she has short dark hair and big glasses
That's an ad hominuminuminuminum! 
Sorta like the Charlie Brown character...whasername...is that Peppermint Pattie?
Nah, DrEckleburg is a Blonde Romance Novelist.
Sorta like the Charlie Brown character...whasername...is that Peppermint Pattie?
Nah, DrEckleburg is a Blonde Romance Novelist.
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