Posted on 10/23/2006 8:16:47 AM PDT by klossg
Debate over Muslim women wearing the full-face veil has been raging. So is it important for communication to see more than someone's eyes?
The eyes are the window to the soul, so the proverb goes. But do we need to see more?
Jack Straw's comments about asking Muslim women in his surgery to remove the face veil - and the tribunal case over a Muslim classroom assistant wearing the niqab - have sparked much debate.
But does it really obstruct communication if we can only see the eyes? In one-on-one contact, in the same physical place, the eyes are the focus. So does it matter if that's all that can be seen?
'Eyebrow flash'
Absolutely, say body language experts. Seeing only the eyes cuts 80% of the detail that comes to us unspoken, says psychologist Dr David Lewis.
Messages come thick and fast from other body parts - around the eyes, the rest of the face and the whole body.
"The eyes will tell you quite a lot, but it's like trying to guess what's in a book by reading the first chapter. The whole face is the major area of non-verbal communication."
They don't feel they need to see my face to hear my voice
Nadia Ajibade
Why women wear the veil
Eyebrows alone contain key signals when people meet - in every culture, communication begins with a split-second "mutual eyebrow flash" - raising them to acknowledge each other.
They can be used to ask a question or give a rebuke, adds psychologist Dr Andrina McCormack.
Under the eyes, small pockets of flesh pop up when someone smiles, but only if the smile is genuine. Miss them, and can you judge?
Across the rest of the face, whether the muscles are relaxed or tense indicates mood.
The mouth is seen as vital. For instance, when pre-school children engage in rough and tumble play, they use a different face to show that it is friendly - teeth bared, mouth open, but muscles relaxed. If the face becomes tense it signals time to take cover.
Bite warning
This translates to adulthood - the smile is a way of rolling back the lips in a non-threatening way. As the human mouth is loaded with germs it is important to know if someone is going to bite.
Watch the whole body, say psychologists
People use the whole body to read people's mood - through gesture, posture, whether they are holding on to themselves, clutching their arms or relaxed. It is often absorbed on a sub-conscious level.
But do these subtle signals really matter? Some Muslim women who wear the niqab say not.
"Within my [mixed] community, I interact just as well as anyone else does and get on with my neighbours," Nadia Ajibade, 23, told the BBC. "They're not shallow, they don't see the face veil as a barrier. They don't feel they need to see my face to hear my voice."
Others say perhaps it is a separation too far. Teacher Maryam Khan, says: "Working with young children, so much is read just from facial expressions, you don't have to speak to a child.
"If they can't see your face, they don't know what you're thinking - a glare, a smile."
Non-verbal communication is key for the young
Psychologists agree. "It's particularly true for children under five because their communication is non-verbal, they're much better at reading it than adults," says Dr Lewis. "If they're denied these signals they become quite confused."
In a culture where wearing veils is less common, covering the face can have other historic connotations. In the UK, there have been negative associations with a concealed face - the highwayman, executioner, burglar or today's hoodies.
When non-verbal information in a face is hidden, it can provoke anxiety and nervousness, says Dr Lewis - prompting "angry or more negative" responses.
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The veil is good for women in cultures that are hostile to them. The Muslim have them not because they are cruel people but because they serve a purpose in their society. Time and time again, in traditional Muslim societies the veil comes back even when not mandatory.
We'd better worry about our own society, in which integrating the Muslim doesn't seem like a high priority to me. This is how our Western culture is hostile to women: it robs anyone who falls short of the porn star model of beauty, of dignity. It would be a logical development if our culture recognized a need for a veil, or better still, recognized a need to return to Christian values, when the veil is not needed and the body -- anyone's body -- receives the respect God has for it.
Get a grip, people. The poor lady is not going to bite you through the veil - she'd get a mouthful of dust mites.
Acknowledging that porn is not a First Amendment right would be a good start.
He can start by being a man who doesn't value false (or public) sexuality, glitz, glamor, and hipness.
A man should make it clear to his wife and his daughters that he values inner beauty - good character, diligence, education, spirituality - and meaningful accomplishments. Also, he should be a central presence in their lives, so that his approval will be meaningful to them. If a father is not available to validate virtuous dress and behavior, girls will seek approval from their peers - with predictable outcomes.
A confident man does not need other men to lust after his wife in order to for him to feel manly. A weak man wants to display his wife like a consumer product, for others to envy, because his identity is based on what others think.
We have a government that actively protects the assault on our values, by allowing the left to interpret the constitution. This makes the job of converting hearts so much harder.
Of course porn is not covered by the First Amendment. Only political expression is. Porn was illegal throughout the time when America still had a functioning constitution, till about a generation ago.
The Muslim society is as hostile to women as Western. I would argue that it is actually more hostile to women, at least the West is honest about it's hostility.
The veil is not worn in Muslim societies out of modesty, at least a true sense. It is worn as a cruth for Muslim men, women are their scapegoat. If men stumble, no matter how horrifically it must be because the woman was in some way immodest. That's why in Iran, the legal age of execution of a woman is nine years old. It's not till sixteen that men can be executed.
The female body is fearfully and wonderfully made. It itself is not immodest, but the Muslim mentality is that it is. A female can choose to behave in an immodesty fashion, no matter how clothed she is. But men are expected to have self control of their own. They cannot shove all their responsibility to a woman.
Modesty is essential to a society. But it has to be for modesty's sake, not some irrational fear or hatred of women.
"But I think it is"
For reals or just for argument's sake?
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Western society does indeed need to regain a sense of modesty, but the Islamic veil is not about modesty. It is an Islamic man's means of securing his property.
I don't dispute that. I am merely saying that our own model is something we should be worrying about, and it is very far from perfect.
Ladies used to wear veils. Not the full coverage like the muzzlems wear, but see through veils that obscured the features, and who knows, at other times they may have been more opaque. When I was a kid I think every lady had at least one although, like hats for men, they were definitely on their way out.
If a woman wants to turn herself into a Black Moving Object that is her freedom but in our society she has transformed herself into a non-entity to me. I will not speak to her, deal with her, have any interaction with her whatsoever if I can help it.
I couldn't help it, though, when I went to Britain and the customs agent that checked me through was a fully covered muzzlem female.
Excellent perspective!
The principle of envy is a key to modern marketing. (Maybe pre-modern marketing too, for all I know :-). In order to sell more and newer items, marketers have to make the prospective buyer dissatisfied with what he has, and an obvious way to do that is to persuade him that others think less of him because of what he owns.
It's dumb to fall for it with general consumer products, and *really* disordered to make it a factor in personal relationships. I suppose that, if you don't have Christ for your foundation, and don't have confidence in God's love, then you'll look for something else to meet those needs.
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