In all sincerity...
All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven. (Catechism of the Catholic Church - #1030)
http://www.mark-shea.com/purgatory.html
prayers for your relative sent. God bless you.
Sorry for your loss. If it helps though, death is a state of existence involving separation. When our loved ones die, their soul and spirit are separated from this physical body and are one with the Lord.
God gives soul life and only he may remove it. In His perfect omnisience, He knew the perfect time to bring His believer home to Him. One simple way of expressing this is that for the believer, when we die, we are promoted.
In prayer for your relative ... Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him, and may his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Bumping this thread back up.