Why I Can No Longer Be A United Methodist

United Methodist Nexus ^ | August 2006 | Marge Engelman

[hiho hiho]

I am a retired university administrator and faculty member, a lifelong Methodist (now United Methodist), a clergy wife, a mother and a grandmother. At this age I had imagined that I would be happily treasuring traditional Christian views, following the well-worn path to the church, and participating in all the usual “keep-’em-busy-and-involved” church activities.

Here I am at 78 raising more questions about the Christian faith than ever before. I am offended by the continued use of sexist language and bored by the endless rehearsal of our ancient doctrines. I can no longer think like a first century Christian, the time when much of the Bible was written, or like a fourth century Christian, the time when the creeds were formed. Striving to find meaning in the creeds without translating almost every word is frustrating. The words stick in my throat when I try to sing the dated hymns depicting heaven as up and hell as down, God as Father, and Christian soldiers marching onward. I find it difficult to worship what my mind rejects.

Going to The United Methodist Church to worship does not meet my spiritual needs. For a while I went to coffee hour to see valued friends. Now and then I would attend the Sunday Forum seeking a new idea, but then I would play hooky and skip out before worship, hoping no one would miss me. Now I have “given up” and seek meaning in other ways and places.

An Interfaith Dialogue group meeting in a Catholic Retreat Center has increased my awareness that there are many spiritual paths. When I gather with Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Wiccans, Bahai’s, Agnostics, and Christians to share spiritual thoughts and experiences, I am enriched.

The exclusivity of traditional Christianity, “ours is the only way,” saddens me now. Seldom in recent years did I hear reference to other faiths, maybe a nod now and then to ecumenicity. As I contemplate the world scene, traumatized with religious conflict, it seems there is good reason to be about the business of opening all the doors and windows to the fresh air of learning about, valuing and working with other faiths.

Again and again my hopes have been dashed related to openness and support for gays and lesbians. The United Methodist churches that I know best tiptoe around the gay, lesbian and transgendered issues. If a church does decide after much study and discussion that they want to be a welcoming congregation, they then seldom reach out in meaningful and caring ways to the gays and lesbians in their communities.

And now in addition to United Methodists denying ordination to self-avowed practicing homosexuals, the UM Judicial Council has said that gays and lesbians have no automatic right to church membership and upheld the power of local pastors to turn them away. That is deeply troubling to me.

I was an active trustee of one of United Methodist’s finest seminaries for 25 years. I am ashamed to say that the board of that Seminary has never been able to agree on a policy related to gays and lesbians. I have shed many tears of frustration and anger as some of us tried to bring about change.

When I was in undergraduate school and became president of a national sorority, I was stunned to realize that I was required to ask new pledges if they were of Negro, Oriental, or Jewish extraction. If they were, we could not pledge them. Shortly after graduating, I resigned from the sorority to protest that discrimination.

When trying to decide if I wanted to remain an active United Methodist, I recalled that disturbing sorority experience and asked myself if I wanted to be a member of a Church that discriminated against homosexuals.

Where are the voices of United Methodists in standing up against the Iraq war? Where are the Bishop Oxnams of our day? Yes, there are some brave souls, but in general there has been no United Methodist outcry against a preemptive, illegal war that has killed thousands and threatens the very fiber of our souls. Many clergy are concerned, but if they speak out they may offend some members, and what United Methodist church can afford to lose members in this day and age of declining membership?

I have changed from that ever-smiling, supportive clergy wife, who questioned little and swallowed a lot. Now I am reimagining my faith as I age. Of course, this new path has brought guilt and self-doubt and periods of deep searching. But there are joys as well. It is a joy to find spiritual strength in new places: within me as I meditate, in the community of the Interfaith Dialogue, listening as I walk in the mornings, meeting and learning from international students, writing a book and sensing a guiding presence as I write.

Maintaining some of my Christian perspectives, I am finding hope and nourishment in the Unitarian Universalist tradition. (Yes, you can be a Christian Unitarian.) In the words of one of their hymns, I am “Free from the bonds that bind the mind to narrow thought and lifeless creed.” I am happy to be a part of a community that places a very high priority on activism related to social justice issues. It is good to listen to the loving thoughts of a gay minister.

I do remain grateful for my Methodist heritage, but just as Jesus called in question the legalisms of Judaism, I want to move on to a faith that is inclusive, has no barriers or boundaries, and is relevant for the present day.

[Revelation 911]

You got somethin' against pentecostals??? ;-)

nah - I jus thad to use it for bumper music on a radio program I produced for a local church sometime back - Ive literally heard it several thousand times

(BTW, had a nice package on my front doorstep yesterday. Thanks)

I threw in a couple extras - let me know how you enjoy them

[chesley]

I never have understood the attraction of "inclusivity" for these people. There are gazillions of people that should be excluded.

[PAR35]

Someone probably needs to take this senior citizen in for a neurological exam.

[wontbackdown]

This article is really ironic. I am fed up with the Methodist church because of its pro-abortion stance. And the very last straw came when they opposed having the President's library at S.M.U. Thanks to the intolerable liberalism of the church in which I was raised, I am now denominationally homeless.