Hope you don't mind but here are two suggestions. Perhaps you can resolve those two things at this site:
I commend you on your journey. Mine led me back to the roots, to Judaism.
I've often said that were I not catholic, I would be Jewish - the draw to ancient roots is that strong. In fact, of all the Eastern Churches, the Maronite Catholic Church retains its Jewish heritage more than the others, both liturgically and in architectural elements.
The other suggestion is to read Roy Schoeman's book, Salvation is from the Jews. Roy Schoeman was raised as a "conservative" Jew by pious parents who escaped the Holocaust. His hometown rabbi was Arthur Hertzberg. One of the highest-profile rabbis in the U.S., he was president of the American Jewish Congress, advisor to several presidents, and wrote a number of best-selling books on Judaism and Jewish history. Schoeman loved God and even considered abandoning his studies at MIT to attend Yeshiva in Israel. Eventually, he ended up at Harvard Business School where he taught while working on his doctorate. Schoeman loved nature and skiing. The years passed and then one day, something extraordinary happened.
Quote: During the spring of 1987 I took a few days off from work and went to Cape Cod to spend time in the nature there. I was walking in the early morning, in the woods just back from the beach, when God intervened, dramatically and distinctly, into my life to pull me back and put me onto the right path. As I was walking, lost in my thoughts, I found myself in the immediate presence of God. It is as though I "fell into Heaven." Everything changed from one moment to the next, but in such a smooth and subtle way that I was not aware of any discontinuity. I felt myself in the immediate presence of God. I was aware of His infinite exaltedness, and of His infinite and personal love for me. I saw my life as though I was looking back on it after death, in His presence, and could see everything which I would be happy about and everything which I would wish I had done differently. I saw that every action I had ever done mattered, for good or for evil. I saw that everything which had ever happened in my life had been perfectly designed for my own good from the infinitely wise and loving hand of God, not only including but especially those things which I at the time I thought had been the greatest catastrophes. I saw that my two greatest regrets when I died would be every moment which I had wasted not doing anything of value in the eyes of God, and all of the time and energy which I had wasted worrying about not being loved when every moment of my existence I was bathed in an infinite sea of love, although unaware of it. I saw that the meaning and purpose of my life was to worship and serve my Lord and Master, in whose presence I found myself. I wanted to know His name, so that I could worship Him properly, so that I could follow "His" religion. I remember silently praying "Tell me your name. I don't mind if You're Apollo, and I have to become a Roman pagan. I don't mind if You're Krishna, and I have to become a Hindu. I don't mind if You're Buddha, and I have to become a Buddhist. As long as You're not Christ, and I have to become a Christian!" (Jewish readers might be able to identify with this deep-rooted aversion to Christianity, based on the mistaken belief that it was the "enemy" which lay behind two thousand years of persecution of the Jews.) Unquote.
Roy Schoeman has written a book that draws from Jewish history right up to the present.
From the Preface -
"If there is one theological issue which both Jews and Christians should be able to agree on, it is that "salvation is from the Jews". It has been a constant teaching of Judaism from the days of Abraham onwards that the salvation of all mankind is to come from the Jews. That is the primary sense in which the Jews are "the Chosen People". And Christians, or at least Christians who believe in the accuracy of the New Testament, have no choice but to believe that "salvation is from the Jews", since those are the very words which Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:22). This book is an attempt to examine the meaning of those words, from a Jewish perspective within the Catholic faith. "
I can't say enough about this book. I'm not a great reader but could not put it down. Roy Schoeman is also very active with 'Hebrew Catholics'. You can learn more about him and the book at Salvation is from the Jews .