Posted on 12/10/2004 8:44:32 AM PST by Alex Murphy
CROCKETT'S BLUFF, AR – In a startling collision of modern technology and ministry, Crockett's Bluff Community Church is the first known church in America to use Logitech's biochip technology to receive its weekly tithes and offerings.
According to last year's church theme - "Be ID'd With CBCC in '03" - the congregation of 15,782 outfitted each member of its flock with a subdermal microchip in the right hand. The device, smaller than a mustard seed, contains the banking information of each worshipper and is scanned by an usher as he or she enters the sanctuary.
Pastor Bud Caldwell readily admits news of the action is sure to send end times specialists scrambling to rewrite their works of eschatological punditry. "Oh there'll be a buzz for a while. Especially from the Van Impe's. Forgive me for saying this, but it doesn't take much for Rexella to get her prophetic panties in a bunch. If those two were halfway to heaven when credit cards came out, I can only imagine."
According to Caldwell, CBCC's corps of greeters have arrived at a simple formula for deducting funds from each worshipper. "Ten percent off the top for tithe, obviously. When it comes to offering, we just let the Spirit lead. If that doesn't work, we try to see what kind of car they drive."
Some church members were admittedly unnerved when Caldwelll cast the vision for the ambitious plan. Three years ago, Allison and Randy Peavey left their sputtering church of 1,500 in Little Rock to attend the suburban fellowship. Said 27 year old homemaker Allison, "I was really shocked, like, 'is my pastor Nicolae Carpathia or something?' But when Pastor Bud told us our contributions were still tax deductible, I was reassured."
"I just figured anybody who runs a church this big has to know what he's doing," said Randy, a 42 year old CFO. "Besides, we prayed and felt a peace about it."
Terry Whisnant, 32, is pragmatic about the whole thing. "I do all my banking online anyway. The chip is just another convenience for me - it's one less thing to think about at church. Besides, Jesus tells us when we give we shouldn't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. I can't think of a more perfect application of that verse."
Still, the 51-year-old pastor tries to alleviate the fears of newcomers, often employing lighthearted humor. "Before my message I ask the visitors to give us a "hand" in the work God is doing at CBCC. Get it? Hand..."
What may not be a laughing matter to some newcomers at CBCC is the foyer fellowship policy. In the church's official welcome brochure, Visitors Pastor Hugh Dowd makes it clear that if you are not chipped, you cannot partake in post-service coffee and donuts. "There is a flipside however," said Dowd. "Once chipped, you not only get food and fellowship, but you also get a ten percent discount at our bookstore/Starbucks for a year."
For his part, Lead Deacon Ralph Phillips is just happy to be getting home earlier on Sundays. "By not taking an offering, we're saving 20 minutes per service. Also, I don't have to count money afterwards. That's another half hour. Now I'm home for the 1 o'clock game. How 'bout them Cowboys!"
Though he's sure to face a firestorm from pre-millennials, the affable Caldwell seems unfazed by the technology's semblance to what eschatologists such as Hal Lindsay and Chuck Missler refer to as the mark of the beast in Revelation 13. "Look, I'm a classic dispensationalist myself, but I see it as a win-win situation. We either continue at the cutting edge of contemporary ministry, or we trigger the rapture and bada bing, we're outta here, brother!"
Yeah, the cult I was in demanded tithe based on gross income not net. I couldn't afford food, and they were insisting on every penny they thought was theirs. Plus, they demanded a monthly offering of money for the poor.
Unless their names are Ananias and Sapphira. The IRS only wishes they had that power.
Oh, thank goodness. I was reading it, saying to myself, "This is satire... this has to be satire, right... Please tell me this is satire!"
(Damn! I got roped in!)
...it may be satire...but i wonder if it is prophetic?
(airhead alert...dumb question looming...)
just curious...when they wanted your income tax or proof of income...did they want to base it on your gross or net?...
Gross. And they preferred a statement from my boss stating my hourly wage and benifit amount (any bonuses, value of insurance, etc.)
P.T. Barnum, himself, couldn't have said it better.
Oh, my, Alex. He is deceived and is deceiving his whole congregation. Better a millstone be put around his neck...
Oh, my, Alex. He is deceived and is deceiving his whole congregation. Better a millstone be put around his neck...
That’s awful. If my church did that, I’d be looking elsewhere in a hurry. Fortunately, they don’t. My pastor is my financial guy anyway. He knows how much we earn because he’s in charge of my retirement funds, LOL. Good thing he’s honest.
I got roped in, too, but it’s too realistic not to be true at some point in time.
It was my LDS (Mormon) bishop. I left the LDS less than a year after that. My current pastor often states that tithing is between the believer and God, and if God wants you to give to another ministry other than the congregation, you should do so.
That sounds so cultish to me. It IS between you and God. He tells me to tithe to where I am getting fed, which is my local church. I’ve tithed for years now and God has met my every need—even a husband! LOL. I give to other missions and Christian places as well, like 700 Club, but mostly to my church and people in the church who may need a little boost. To demand tithing and then checking out what you make is not good. It would make me very wary of the church and pastor. Glad you got out.
I usually tithe to my local congregation, and I also give to other ministries. When my husband and I we between Churches (like when we moved) then we would tithe to AWANA or another group. One church we attended briefly several years ago had poor financial stewardship so we gave elsewhere, then found another church.
Also, our current church (Calvary Chapel) has it’s books open to anyone who asks. It is difficult if not impossible to follow the money trail in the LDS church.
I am so glad that Christ delivered me out of that bondage.
So am I, reaganaut. Nothing like freedom in Christ, is there. No more having to live up to what man says, only what God says. I went to the Methodist church for years and when I learned about tithing, I couldn’t tithe to the church because I knew a lot of it went to socialist causes. I did tithe to the pastor’s home renovations however. I had no trouble tithing to my present church because we have responsible people as our leaders. It’s a blessing to tithe.
Interesting, since no where in the New Testament is a believer commanded to give 10% of anything.
The tithe in the Old Testament was actually three “tithes”, and amounted to 23% of your annual income.
I agree. There isn’t anywhere in the New Testament that I know of where we are commanded to give 10%. Zaccheus ended up promising to tithe 50%. And there are a number of scriptures that warns against borrowing. That makes one wonder what is worst, to not be tithing and remaining out of debt or to be tithing while in debt. Consumerism aside (which could be a legitimate argument), somehow I don’t believe God is pleased with us when we tithe using our MasterCard.
I would never do that. Some people feel the need to be watched, taken care of, etc. and that’s makes them feel they are on the right path. Deception comes in many forms.
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