OK, dear it might fix my headache

The Australian ^ | October 3, 2003 | George Gordon

[demlosers]

WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand, claims a controversial book on achieving wedded bliss.

Wives have a "loving obligation" to have sex whenever they are asked for it - even if they are not in the mood, says American author Dr Laura Schlessinger.

The 56-year-old sex therapist and radio host says marriages will survive and improve if men are viewed as a "gift from God".

And she urges women to stop nagging and whining, saying: "Be honest girls, that's what we do".

Her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, will not be published until January, but it has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists.

Dr Schlessinger, who has a PhD in psychology, has written 60 books on marriage and attracts 100 million listeners every week to her radio show.

Her moralistic views have often clashed head-on with those who view marriage as an equal partnership.

In her latest book, she writes: "If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Marriage counsellor Jennie Bergat condemned Dr Schlessinger's remarks.

"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

The Australian

[HighWheeler]

"Her book,....has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists."

Well then, her claims must be correct. These people are just trying to save their jobs.

[Jerry_M]

College professor conducting research asks one of his classes: "How many of you engage in sexual relations daily?" A good number of hands go up. Then "How many of you...weekly?" More hands. Then "How many...monthly?" Just a few hands. Professor "Is there anyone I missed?" To which one man waves his hands wildly in the air and yells "Me, me, you forgot about me!". The professor asks "How often do you engage in sexual relations?" and the answer is "Once a year". The professor asks the man "Why are you so excited?". Answer: "Tonights the night! Tonights the night!"

[Polybius]

That might be fair as long as the wife is not working to also support the family,is the primary care provider for the children, and also does all the cooking and cleaning to boot. Oh, and may I add not having to spend time with his crappy relatives also.

Well, my wife does not work to support the family, the kids spend most of their day with the homeschool teacher that I pay for, she has a cleaning lady come in that I pay for, my relatives all live 3,000 miles away, she ordered pizza last night that I paid for...............and she still was too tired last night!

[Cold Heat]

Feminism changed all that.

I can say with a bit of pride that my better half has not in any way been changed or influenced by Feminism in any way at all.

[sweetliberty]

"it has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists."

Probably a pretty good book then.

[EuroFrog]

I think you are absolutely right, and I agree with you 100%.

[fqued]

Unless there is a medical problem, any marriage in which sex "occurs" about once a month is probably a sick marriage.

I don't doubt that there are such.
I was merely trying to show that the EVIDENCE indicates that those marriages are nowhere near the norm.
And the evidence indicates what I said, that the best and most frequent sex is within marriage, and the average American adult does it about 115 times a year, or, on the average of twice a week.

[xzins]

LOL!

[fqued]

"I would be happy to learn that your poll numbers are correct..... I guess I just happen to hear of the few unfortunate souls who aren't gettin any........"

Truly unfortunate. It's just not the norm. But that doesn't mean that it isn't important or insignificant. My post was in response to someone who thought it was the norm.

[EuroFrog]

The flannel rule! Hubby and I love our flannel jammie pants but the rule is, you can get into bed with them on long enough to warm a spot on a really cold night, then its everything off. Exceptions of course for period week.

[EuroFrog]

Hate to tell you this, your wife is taking you for a ride. Unfortunately, its not a naked ride between the sheets either. What does she do with her time if she isnt taking care of kids or cleaning? And how on earth is she too tired after doing nothing?

[TexasBarak]

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive. Wedding cake.

I've long held to a different theory, and it is this;
All of a woman's sex drive is contained in the very tip of her left ring finger. Putting a gold band around this finger cuts off circulation just enough to kill or severely wound her sex drive. When the ring comes off, the sex drive comes back. See? a working hypothesis that fits all the facts :) (boy, am I gonna get it about this :)

[sweetliberty]

"Dr. Laura told her not to be suprised when he left her for a woman who was more often in the mood."

There is a lot of room for interpretation in both the caller's complaint AND the response. If a woman is "not in the mood" too often, then she really shouldn't be surprised if her husband finds someone who is (not that that makes it okay, mind you). However, if it is only occasionally, or if she really isn't feeling well or has had a particularly bad day, then the husband SHOULD respect that OR, in some cases, put some effort into getting her in the mood. That would be the loving thing to do.

That said, it works both ways. This line of thinking is scripturally based, but is often misunderstood. What the scriptures say is that neither the wife nor the husband should withhold themselves from the other and that their bodies are not their own. To do so leaves too much opportunity for the devil. Of course, because you seldom hear men complaining about their wives wanting too much sex, that side of it is often ignored.

Also, the Bible talks about wives submitting to their husbands, and this is often interpreted in terms of sexual matters as well as other things. This is all fine and good, but the part that is too often left out is the part that says, "as is fitting in the Lord" or "as unto the Lord." My understanding of this is that to the extent that a husband is in submission to the Lord a woman can be "safe" in submission to her husband. It is not a sign of weakness nor of inequality. Everything and everyone shines the brightest when doing what they are created to do. This is a way in which a loving God reveals Himself in our lives because He wants what is best for us, not because He wants to cramp our style.

The way this works out is that if the husband is loving his wife "as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her" as the scriptures command, then the wife can joyfully submit herself to her husband...which might also be loosely translated as making herself vulnerable to him, because in her heart of hearts, she knows that he loves her and wants what is best for her, which inspires her to return his love to strengthen him and show him that she appreciates him. When it is in God's order, there is no higher expression of love on earth because it represents the relationship between Christ and His church.

Of course, our own will and "wisdom" often get in the way, and no expression of love this side of heaven will be perfect but that of Christ Himself. But it sets a standard and one we should aspire to in our relationships, all the while being slow to anger and generous with forgiveness, for that too is an expression of God's love.

[Lazamataz]

Re: Sex.

you get in direct proportion to what you put in!

Ummmmm.....

[Cold Heat]

Yes, a hard concept to grasp.

[sweetliberty]

"Maybe that's because they spend too much time on the internet"

Ya think?

.

.

"I have learned that people who frequent internet discussion groups are not necessarily representative of the general population."

Seriously, I would have to agree with that. I have found some of the most intelligent and masculine of men (proving that testosterone and cognitive process are not mutually exclusive) and the brightest and most feminine of women frequenting those internet sites I associate myself with, not the least of which is this one. That said, I have also stumbled onto sites that are just the opposite, full of the basest and most vulgar and simple-minded specimens of humanity, ...but I really don't spend much time at the DU.

[proud American in Canada]

"It seems that several of the young married women who work there have no physical relations with their husbands, and have no qualms about discussing it. Pitiful."

It's sad. Sounds like my sister's relationship with her husband. I told her to get going, that being together regularly would improve their relationship immensely.

[sweetliberty]

"She does advocate showing love to your man because YOU LOVE YOUR MAN"

Exactly!

[Lazamataz]

Physiology, as in exercise kinesiology, movement-range of motion, etc NOT psychology.

Yeah, but she's still pretty good. I don't think most of us could do her job as well as she does.

[Lazamataz]

"Women, as the Roman elegiac poets pointed out and any sexual therapist will tell you, are ready any time. Men are only ready when they're ready."

Interesting point.

Yeah, but they're always ready.