OK, dear it might fix my headache

The Australian ^ | October 3, 2003 | George Gordon

[demlosers]

WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand, claims a controversial book on achieving wedded bliss.

Wives have a "loving obligation" to have sex whenever they are asked for it - even if they are not in the mood, says American author Dr Laura Schlessinger.

The 56-year-old sex therapist and radio host says marriages will survive and improve if men are viewed as a "gift from God".

And she urges women to stop nagging and whining, saying: "Be honest girls, that's what we do".

Her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, will not be published until January, but it has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists.

Dr Schlessinger, who has a PhD in psychology, has written 60 books on marriage and attracts 100 million listeners every week to her radio show.

Her moralistic views have often clashed head-on with those who view marriage as an equal partnership.

In her latest book, she writes: "If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Marriage counsellor Jennie Bergat condemned Dr Schlessinger's remarks.

"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

The Australian

[OMalley]

***If girls only knew...***

It aint rocket science;)

[patton]

LOL. Actually, I happen to be a rocket scientist.

And I have actually studied the symptoms of neglect - they are quite quantifiable.

Ladies, you have a few days - your husband will "start to notice" other women.

A few day more, and he is actively thinking about it.

One month, and you are either married to a saint, someone with significant concerns over the divorce settlement, or you are cuckolded.

[OMalley]

Your probally dead on too:)

***or you are cuckolded.***

What the heck is cuckolded?? LOL

[patton]

You are being cheated on, and everybody in town knows it, except you.

[OMalley]

**You are being cheated on, and everybody in town knows it, except you.**

Yikes!!

That happened ya know a relative of mine. her hubby was having an affair with a local attorney.
When she found out she broke his nose. Though she is now a very strong advocate for keeping your hubby happy...as she now says if you wont do it, there is always someone who will. They are much happier now.

[patton]

See?

[editor-surveyor]

"I am the extended middle finger in the fist of life."

have you looked closely lately? - It's not extended quite like it used to be! :o)

[editor-surveyor]

"This will be just anecdotal, but it will be interesting to see responses?"

When you are talking about real people, anecdotal evidence is usually more useful than controlled statistically corrected studies. - statistics leave out most of the pertinant facts.

[OMalley]

Yep:)

Ive tried putting the bug in the ladys ear whose hubby hasnt gotten lucky in 2 years, but by the sounds of the book she gave me, he is in for another 2.

Its dangerous i think, considering he travels 5 days out of a week. Lots of opportunity and not alot of motivation to say no.

I think what you said is true..they are iether a saint, afraid of divorce or have another woman or man (as in the cheating women, not men, we hope) lol

This family member now puts the bug in anyones ear who will listen. shortly after the event, she was "informing" every woman we met at that mall whod listen LOL

[patton]

four years? One might make the assumption that the abandoned spouse had found another outlet.

In Virginia law, it is actually called that: "constructive abondonement."

It means not paying attention.

[OMalley]

WOW I have never heard of that!

Its not been 4 years yet, only 2 (as if thats ONLY) but its part of her faith to believe that sex is not important.

According to the book she wanted me to read, marriage is not about sex or having children, but about making sure your spouse gets to heaven.

Sex is for occasional use and is referred to in very technical ways. It is actually considered unholy to think about it or have it too much, if there is such a thing lol

I dont find that very conisitent with what the Bible says about marriage.

How did virginia come up with this? is it grounds for divorce or something?

[Sloth]

Schlessinger is a loud-mouthed moron. I.e., a female O'Reilly.

[Dr. Eckleburg]

Action precedes motivation -- the secret to life.

If a person wants to be loved, they should act lovably.

Any woman who says "NO" to your hypotheticals either lives alone, watches too much "Sex In the City," or has no desire for real intimacy.

What a waste.

[EuroFrog]

Just DAMN!

It has taken 10 years but hubby and I have finally found a way that works for us. Used to be he was coming home from work, eating dinner, then napping on the couch until bedtime, usually around midnight. He always wondered why I was too tired for sex then. I finally got it through his head that I have been running since usually around 7 am and by midnight, I am exhausted! I have no problem 'putting out' but damn, lets do it at a fairly reasonable time!

Only time I can pretty much guarantee he wont be getting anything from the waist down is when Im OTR. I think its just disgusting. But, any woman worth her weight can take care of a man in other ways under such 'dire circumstances'.

I hope, for your sake, you two figure out something that works. Dont let down your expectations though, when someone has to change, they will try to change as little as possible. And yes, if a relationship is to stand the test of time, at some point, both parties will change and compromise, sometimes more than once.

[patton]

Yep, it is grounds for divorce. And I have no idea where it came from - probably Scottish law, or some ancient thing.

It takes 50 Virginians to change a light bulb - one to change it, and 49 to caucus about how great the old one was.

[OMalley]

LOL!

[FrdmLvr]

All I can say is, you treat your wife like shit on a daily basis, don't expect her to feel amorous in the bedroom.

[OMalley]

***All I can say is, you treat your wife like shit on a daily basis, don't expect her to feel amorous in the bedroom.****

This causes a whole slew of problems though. If hubby is snide to wife because she is not feeling "amorous" and then wife continues to to feel that way because he was not nice,its a viscious circle. Someone has to break cycle. A little tender care can turn a bear of a husband into a pussy cat:)

[RnMomof7]

1. Bonds your husband more to you.

I do not think it is sex that bonds a couple (We had a friend with a bedridden wife . He bathed her and turned her and cooked and cleaned.) This was not in response to to their sex life..he loved her

Sex expresses the love between a man and his wife it is not the cause of it. If a man is prone to extra marital sex he will have it anyway (look at our resident swinger..he just talked his "beloved wife" into joining in the sin....ah such love!!)

2. Significantly reduces probability of infidelity<

Depends. If you want that answer fully it comes in a plain brown wrapper

3. Certainly Enhances the home atmosphere (relational)

Fully agree

4) would you be willing to have sex on request? (or would you have been willing to have sex on request?...if that applies better)

This again is a tricky question. We are to treat our spouse as more important that our self.So if a husband sees he has an exhausted wife that needs sleep, and he asks (or demands it )any way he is not placing her needs ahead of his..on the other hand even if a wife it very tired and her husband desires it, if she refuses him she id not placing his needs above hers..

So I do believe that an element of give and take and complete honest wins the day, with each one giving the other the consideration that they would like to receive

[xzins]

I'm logging your response as a "no."

It was a hypothetical: IF such and such (those 3 things) were TRUE, would you agree to on request sex from a husband?

Your answer is: "let's discuss." (And I don't remember that being one of the responses. LOL. But it is very, very, like the woman I live with every day. :>)