Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b
~Saying good bye~
Dealing with loss, and surviving...
Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.
Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.
Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.
With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again."Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."Grieving, is our tribute to true love.
-Michael PritchardFinding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place."We cannot change anything until we accept it."Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways. Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change. Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
-C J Morelli"People only see what they are prepared to see."Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.
-Ralph Waldo EmersonOne of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....I love you...
By Chef Carlo J. Morelli, Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad
Hang in there, Pal. I lost my father and father-in-law to inoperable lung cancer. Let us pray for your little sister, pray for a new treatment and/or a miracle healing.
It's on my list now.. Thank you Fletch
His name is Jesus Christ.
He can help.
Just ask Him.
Yours is sage advice.. Thanks
Forgiveness. It means letting go completely. No holding back any reserves of bitterness, or grudge, just in case you need it for revenge or something someday.
Holding on to bitterness can make us feel strong. As if we are not letting the one who hurt us take advantage of us again. When in fact if we hold on to bitterness they are continuing to hurt us, forever until we forgive.
We fear that in forgiveness we become vulnerable, when it is actually the opposite. I believe also that we fear that in forgiveness there is regret for not letting go before, but with that thinking we never forgive, never get rid of the load of bitterness. And we must let go, forgive, those regrets, also.
Forgiveness is like a mountain freshet for the soul.
Thank you carlo. I lost my favorite uncle on Sat. So much loss in life I often say that if I were not in a "helping" profession I would be mad as a hatter. You know I really do love you, because you have given me so much joy through your witty wisdom, your love of food and cooking and sharing of your recipes, even though you know I don't cook and will probably never use a one of them. (((((((carlo))))))
... sigh {{{{{HUG}}}}}}
Bless you my friend...thanks
We have a heretic here, Carlo. She doesn't cook and seems proud of it. We must resort to extreme measuring cups. I'll start out with my stainless steel 5 inch whisk, and you can follow with a food processor. She'll be pureed into cooking, like it or not. :D
Then give him an extra big smooch just from us... LOL.. lets us know how it turned out.. :)
Thank you for being you..how sweet you are to take the time to tell me.. I cook and write from my heart.. sometimes it boils over and spills onto these threads.. don't be a stranger.. stop by and say hi.. :^)
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