Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

~Saying good bye~
CookingWithCarlo.com ^ | Sept 23, 2003 | Carlo3b Dad, Chef, Author

Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b

~Saying good bye~

Dealing with loss, and surviving...

Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.

Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.

Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.

With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
 
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again.

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
-Michael Pritchard
Grieving, is our tribute to true love.

Finding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
 
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
 
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place.

"We cannot change anything until we accept it."
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections
Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways.  Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change.  Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"
-C J Morelli
Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
"People only see what they are prepared to see."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.

One of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
 
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
 
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
 
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....  

I love you...

By Chef Carlo J. Morelli,  Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; Free Republic; Miscellaneous; Philosophy; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: coping; grief; grieving; surviving
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 241-260261-280281-300 ... 321-335 next last
To: trussell; AKA Elena
Prayers are going up for Richard and Kristina. May God soothe their aching hearts, and may He console all the siblings.
261 posted on 09/27/2003 6:23:22 PM PDT by Palladin (Proud to be a FReeper!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 255 | View Replies]

To: trussell
t, here I sit thinking how all of us on your ping list started out bickering and arguing with each other on the Eliz. Smart threads...

And here we are now, all prayer buddies.

Only on Free Republic!
262 posted on 09/27/2003 6:25:46 PM PDT by Palladin (Proud to be a FReeper!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 255 | View Replies]

To: Palladin
Prayers for a miracle Palladin. Prayers to ease the pain.
263 posted on 09/27/2003 6:56:06 PM PDT by Jackie-O (How 'bout those Central Division Champion Cubs!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 229 | View Replies]

To: redhead
May God bless you.
264 posted on 09/27/2003 6:58:38 PM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife ("Life isn't fair. It's fairer than death, is all.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 253 | View Replies]

To: WVNan; MissAmericanPie; Yaelle; hope
May I offer you all prayers as well?
265 posted on 09/27/2003 7:00:15 PM PDT by Jackie-O (How 'bout those Central Division Champion Cubs!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 234 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b

You've Been Cyber Hugged!!


266 posted on 09/27/2003 7:00:20 PM PDT by TexKat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jackie-O
Thank you, Jackie.

My sister starts radiation treatments next Tuesday. Please keep her in your prayers.
267 posted on 09/27/2003 7:09:24 PM PDT by Palladin (Proud to be a FReeper!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 263 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
What though the radiance which was once so bright,
be now forever taken from my sight,
though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind
268 posted on 09/27/2003 7:40:51 PM PDT by apackof2 (Watch and pray till you see Him coming, no one knows the hour or the day)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: trussell
Sorry to hear this. Please have them contact CAH as soon as possible, they will be a tremendous help. They know the court system, injustice system better than anyone out there, having been through it themselves. Jane Alexander is the one to talk to.

They hold monthly meetings on the second Sunday of each month at 301 4th Street, San Rafael, CA. The monthly meeting starts at 10:00 AM. We encourage anyone interested to attend meetings.

Citizens Against Homicide
PO Box 2115
San Anselmo, CA 94979
Tel - 415-455-5944
Fax - 415-454-0298

Email: vctmsmurdr@aol.com

269 posted on 09/27/2003 7:58:47 PM PDT by GailA (Millington Rally for America after action http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/872519/posts)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 255 | View Replies]

To: Palladin
Isn't it great that we can all put aside our differences to pull together for a FReeper in need!!

Bless you Palladin. You, your sister and your family will be in my prayers tonight.

trussell
270 posted on 09/27/2003 8:00:02 PM PDT by trussell (Prayer, It does a body good!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 262 | View Replies]

To: AKA Elena; GailA
GailA... Just passing your post on to the person who can follow your suggestion. Thanks for responding.

AKA Elena...

This is from GailA for you:

Sorry to hear this. Please have them contact CAH as soon as possible, they will be a tremendous help. They know the court system, injustice system better than anyone out there, having been through it themselves. Jane Alexander is the one to talk to.
They hold monthly meetings on the second Sunday of each month at 301 4th Street, San Rafael, CA. The monthly meeting starts at 10:00 AM. We encourage anyone interested to attend meetings.

Citizens Against Homicide
PO Box 2115
San Anselmo, CA 94979
Tel - 415-455-5944
Fax - 415-454-0298

Email: vctmsmurdr@aol.com
271 posted on 09/27/2003 8:06:30 PM PDT by trussell (Prayer, It does a body good!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 269 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
Thankyou for providing this inspirational thread for people to come to and post their needs.
272 posted on 09/27/2003 8:08:33 PM PDT by trussell (Prayer, It does a body good!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MissAmericanPie
Look into "protocel.com" (yes, only one l). Do extra search on the product. Check out "biomark-intl.com" too (read it all).

All things are possible through our Lord & Savior.

273 posted on 09/27/2003 8:23:30 PM PDT by John Doe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 127 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
This has touched me deeply. I lost my wife exactly 22 months ago and tonight is a rough one to endure alone. FR helps me through this. Each line you wrote is so profound and so true.
274 posted on 09/27/2003 8:27:51 PM PDT by vetvetdoug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
BUMP
275 posted on 09/27/2003 8:29:24 PM PDT by GrandMoM ("What is impossible with men is possible with GOD -Luke 18:27)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jackie-O
Thank you so much, Jackie. I completely believe in the power of prayer.
276 posted on 09/27/2003 9:21:43 PM PDT by Yaelle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 265 | View Replies]

To: John Doe
John, you have put a silver lining in some very dark clouds. I will call BioMark first thing Monday and ask them if my husband qualifies for clinical trials. Or what the treatment costs. Luckily our home is paid for so we will sell it if we have to.

The problem that my husbands Doctor said we face is that his cancer has become "smart". I think that means that his cancer has figgured out how to beat the chemo treatments or developed a resistance to chemo.

The link you have provided me could be his only hope, I will let you know what they have to say Monday night. Thank you so much. I can't wait for tomorrow to tell David, he's asleep right now.
277 posted on 09/27/2003 10:09:42 PM PDT by MissAmericanPie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 273 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
My granddaughter was 4 the day her parents split up. She can (and does) repeat verbatim what was said and she's 7 now. Divorce is horrible, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
278 posted on 09/27/2003 10:11:05 PM PDT by tiki
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 103 | View Replies]

To: Yaelle
Prayers said.
279 posted on 09/27/2003 10:12:37 PM PDT by tiki
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 112 | View Replies]

To: carlo3b
btt
280 posted on 09/27/2003 10:22:00 PM PDT by NYC Republican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 241-260261-280281-300 ... 321-335 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson