Posted on 09/05/2003 1:22:29 AM PDT by tictoc
I am depressed and despondent.I have a morbid attachment to the war between militant Islam and the rest of the world, and I worry especially about Israel.
The more I read, the worse I feel, and yet I can't stop.
September 11, 2001, is seared in my mind with a vividness nothing can erase.
The week before, I had worked as a simultaneous interpreter at an international conference of structural engineers in Germany. Speakers from around the world presented papers on the latest trends in skyscraper construction.
One of them was Leslie E. Robertson, the engineer in charge of the structural design for the World Trade Center during the 1960s. Following his talk on engineering innovations in building projects in China, he took questions from the floor. One person asked him about the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, and expressed surprise that the tower had held up so well in spite of the extensive damage at lower levels.
With quiet confidence, Mr. Robertson replied that the WTC had been designed with a substantial reserve of strength to withstand assaults on its integrity. Specifically, he said that its designers had built it so that it would survive the impact of what was then the largest commercial aircraft in the world, a Boeing 707 jetliner.
His words, translated by me into German, were transmitted by wireless infrared to scores of German speakers in the audience listening through their portable headsets, some of whom nodded in assent.
That was on September 7. I was in a funk after the conference. One of the organizers had approached me at the end and expressed his dissatisfaction with my performance, something that had never happened to me before. There was something about his anger that was inexplicable. It seemed out of proportion to any reasonable complaint. My colleague defended me but the man was implacable. Something seemed to be in the air, something that was making people edgy and aggressive.
Four days later, I switched on the computer and was hit by the news from New York and Washington on the Internet. I stayed glued to the computer while the news bulletins from National Public Radio came tumbling out of the radio.
The world had changed in one day and would never be the same again. Fear and grief, but fear more than grief, were palpable all around. I told myself that the expressions of barely hidden triumph and satisfaction that I saw on the faces of some Muslim immigrants were a figment of my imagination.
Later, as news came in from places such as Lebanon, Pakistan and the West Bank, it became clear that many people were rejoicing.
I could not comprehend this joy then and still cannot today.
On September 11, in a way then still more intuitive than fact-based, I suddenly felt the immense hatred emanating from Islam. The knowledge, for those willing to examine it, had been there all the time, but like most I had chosen to ignore it.
And just as quickly, I understood that the country of Israel would become the focal point of anger not only for Muslims, but also for many in the West for whom the temptation to throw a sacrificial offering to the wolf pack was simply too great.
I lost friends, close friends, because they suddenly revealed to me the depth of their contempt for Israel, for Jews, and for Americans. Muslims, I heard from them, had been oppressed by the West, their legitimate grievances unheard, worst of which was the establishment of Israel on land stolen from Muslims. I began to withdraw into myself.
Then I discovered a countercurrent to the tide of resentment and hate. Accustomed to logging on to the New York Times and feeling frustrated at the rampant political correctness, I found a robust sense of pride in the accomplishments of the western world on the editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal. Writers like Peggy Noonan gave me reassurance and hope that we would defend our civilization.
Later, I found blogs such as Steven Den Beste's USS Clueless, and shortly afterward - via John Shelley's Journal - I discovered Free Republic. Words cannot describe the relief I felt at finding a community of kindred spirits.
And yet, I wondered why we had to meet in cyberspace. Wasn't this proof of our isolation, individually, in the places where we lived and worked?
Meanwhile, the campaign of hatred against Israel grew to a fever pitch. The embattled minority of Israel's defenders in Europe grew smaller, its voices drowned out by twisted anger.
I began to research Islam and its history. For the longest time, the attitude of respect for other religions and peoples, taught to me from an early age, held me back from passing judgment. I went out of my way to find writers with Arab Muslim names advocating peaceful coexistence with the rest of the world including Israel. They were few in number, and most appeared to be apostate in reality if not by admission. In all this time I found only one who argued a Koranic interpretation to defend Israel's right to exist in peace as a homeland for the Jews.
In contrast to this trickle of reason, the vast numbers of Muslim clerics and intellectuals preaching hate were overwhelming.
It became impossible to avoid the truth staring me in the face. In all the countries with a Muslim majority, with the recent exception of Turkey, religious and ethnic minorities were oppressed. The fabled Muslim "tolerance" for "people of the book" was a myth masking brutality and exploitation. There had been a period in history when life in Muslim-ruled places was better, on balance, than in Christian Europe, but that period was long past.
Islam - a political ideology as much as a religion - seems constitutionally unable to accept an equal footing with other religions and political systems. One of the most glaring examples is the continuing plight of Eastern Christians. The extinction of Lebanon as the only Christian-ruled nation in the Middle East is forever a blot on the conscience of the West, which stood by and allowed it to happen. Jews and Christians are dhimmi, second-class citizens expected to know their place and submit.
Any harm, any injustice done by non-Muslims to Muslims, no matter how slight, must be avenged. There is no concept of forgiveness, no willingness to examine self-critically the wrongs done by Muslims to others.
In the town in Germany where I live, entire neighborhoods were Jewish before the Nazis attained power. Their houses - those that still stand after the bombing in World War II - are now inhabited by people who have little knowledge of this history.
The vibrant Jewish communities, in Germany and elsewhere in Europe, were destroyed by the Holocaust. Those murdered by the Nazis - Jews; resisting Christians; labor unionists; Gypsies; retarded children; homosexuals; ordinary men who told a Hitler joke within earshot of a spy - have left behind holes in society, gaps in the air that should have been inhabited by them as they went about their business.
Never again, was the motto. Never again another Holocaust. But that is the threat confronting the five million Jews in Israel. An Islamic Jihad official calls for the nuclear devastation of Israel, with the concurrent death of the Palestinian Arabs accepted so that the "brothers" can retake the empty land. One of the most powerful men in Iran promises that the Islamic bomb can annihilate Israel, with large numbers of Muslims still alive in the Middle East following a nuclear exchange.
Even at this minute, I am certain that Islamists within the government of Pakistan are hard at work trying to divert a nuclear device so that it can be placed on a ship bound for Jaffa harbor. And one large nuclear bomb is all it would take to accomplish their object.
Ron Rosenbaum wrote in the New York Observer that the motto has been amended to "Never again. And if again, not us alone." The comfort this gives me - knowing that many more millions of Arabs can be destroyed by an already-dead Israel - is exactly zero.
And if, by some improbable combination of luck, intelligence work and pre-emptive strikes, a nuclear holocaust can be averted, the future for Israel is still bleak. I look at Ariel Sharon's care-worn face as he shoulders the burden of leading his nation, threading the shrinking eye of the needle, trying to get from this day to the next, and the day after that.
I listen to the words of President Bush and Condi Rice, decent human beings who care for Jews and for Israel but who must put the interests of the United States first. Already they are backsliding from the President's 24 June 2002 speech. The task confronting them as we occupy Iraq and move forward in attempting to pacify the Muslim world by force of arms, money and persuasion is so large, there may one day be no political capital left to spend on supporting a tiny foreign nation.
In a perverse way, the destruction of Israel may even galvanize the Europeans; dead Jews are good for shedding tears of anger.
Never having lived permanently in Israel, I must rely on what present and former Israelis tell me. And that is that the pressure of always having to be on guard, always having to demonstrate superior strength against the onslaught of Arab hatred, may be impossible to sustain forever.
I feel that I am living half in the present, half in some not-yet realized but unbearable future. And I don't know how I will be able to go on when that future becomes reality.
Mr. Robertson, from what I read, was despondent after September 11. It appears he blamed himself and second-guessed what he might have done differently to make the WTC towers hold up. He immersed himself in the clean-up efforts at Ground Zero, contributing his expertise, and I hope that this hard work has helped him to exorcise the demons of unjustified guilt.
Myself, I am becoming paralyzed with worry and fear and finding it hard to think straight. My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one. I wonder if my vocal defense of Israel, on the Internet and in personal encounters, is doing good. I wonder if it is time to start thinking about a "reverse Exodus". But maybe there will be a miracle? Maybe there is something we can say or do to change the Muslims' minds? Maybe-
And round and round I go. This is extremely unhealthy. Anyone who wants to call me a whining crybaby, go ahead, I don't care. If you can say a small prayer for me, please do. And please pray for the lives of innocents everywhere.
I printed your post earlier today and just now read it. Believe me, I share your anxieties and trepidations. I, too, became consumed with the news, with internal thoughts, with frustrations over the lack of will and determination of fellow citizens, the French, the Germans, etc. And, I have been steadfast in my concern for and support of Israel. It stuns me that so few people understand that a democratic, society is on the front line every minute of every day. Yet, they thrive through science, productivity and love of life. It shocks me when I hear otherwise people intelligent people disparage Israel.
Other people.....therein lies a major source of my anxiety. It seems tome that there is something insidious going on from within our own society. Earlier today, on another thread, I wrote:
I was just talking yesterday with a conservative colleague at work. We are so dismayed at how many people have "moved on"; how the drip-drip-drip of press reports have turned the War on Terror to a foreign policy disaster; how the liberal left continues to believe that this is all the fault of an imperialist United States; AND, how many still don't understand that our enemies want nothing less than our apocolyptic destruction. It such a shameful pity that our leader, our President - who does understand - must remain steadfast against forces from within.
It pains me to write these words and, now, to read them. But, for me, it is so crystal clear. 9-11 was not enough. For too many Americans and peoples of the west, more will need to happen before they realize that our very existence is threatened. Even then, there will be vast segments who will argue that the whole thing is really our fault, our lack of understanding.
Ultimately, and I pray I am wrong, I envision a very painful alteration of our national psyche. In the end, it will be for the better but at enormous cost. As for the enemy who wants nothing less than our annihilation, I see an unthinkable brinkmanship playing out. We will need to threaten and follow-up on the destruction of population centers to ultimately defeat the threat. This statement is not intended to be flippant. Within the next decade or so, we will be there. Especially if this administration is defeated by the powerful forces that would undermine it.
So, as for the anxiety....I have curtailed my news intake, I pray, and I love each minute I have with my family.
God Bless to you and yours,
Lando
Well, thank you for sharing your opinion.
I am just going by the dozen or so books I have on Islam and the Crusades specifically, plus all Encyclopedias and reference books.
If you would rather fly by what you think, knock yourself out.
There is no need to give you good advice; others have done a good job. I thought I'd just tell you what keeps me going through all of this.
I feel as you do the palpable vibrations in the air: Israel is in serious danger. As a Jew it scares me. Frightening, too, is that most of the world could not care less, including our famous fair-weather friends in Europe.
My grandmother survived the Holocaust. Her older-middle-aged parents did not. She was able to save her two little sons, or I would not be writing this now. They lost everything material as well as many precious relatives and friends. From a wealthy woman, she became a servant.
She never spoke to me about the bad times. She would not. Instead she focused on the beauty she saw around her, saw it in everything, had a delicious sense of humor, and poured love on all of us her entire life. She lived through the fire and it seemed almost not to touch her. My father has her spirit. Of his days growing up in a foster home in wartime England, he fondly remembers the chocolate bar one got inside one's gas mask.
I think of them, and of how my childhood was pristine regarding world situations, and I hold my little ones close and pray we will stay safe. If my forebears could do it, then so can I. When things go wrong in my life, I can always say "We aren't on the train to Auschwitz yet," because it wasn't all that long ago that they were.
Israel is so hated out of all proportion to any acts she may have committed. I also don't see how this could play out in a good way. But Good will prevail somehow. It has to. G-d will never let evil win.
I stood up and faced them with a cold menacing stare, and they all fell silent as all the eyes in the court yard were now upon them. I think they understood.
It will stick in my mind forever. I wish I had grabbed someones cell phone to report their activity to the FBI.
Truly, if my mom had been exposed to CNN during the Six Day War, she'd have been institutionalized. Had my grandmother been condemned to witnessing round-the-clock, 2003-style coverage of the Huertgenwald, she would have become despondent enough to die from it.
My only child is now in Iraq, and he's not living in one of the finer Iraqi neighborhoods; his deployment is possibly being extended for the second time. I will confess that I had a bad spell on Thursday myself: I had gotten an unwelcome bit of news from Iraq, and I then made the mistake of coming on FR and reading threads and replies from some of the people here who are either oblivious to the morale of military families, or who are genuine sadistic SOB's. I pray they are the former. Once I detatched myself, I was all right again. The Son of God had to get away from the noise on occasion, so how much more does a weakling like me need to do the same?
Islam MAY kill me, but worry WILL kill me... just more slowly and insidiously. I try to go on with life, spend what I can, keep the chin up, and trust in Jesus Christ to do the heavy lifting.
I write to ask a question--who confronted you after the Sept 7 conference, and would you suppply more details as to their nature of these people's complaint?
George S. Patton is not one of my personal heroes, but he knew his business. Like the late General would have done, I choose to bare the teeth right back at them, rather than shrink from even contemplating the task at hand. We do have an enemy, but though that enemy may be able to meld and morph, it is not omniscient.
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