Sick with fear and worry (long vanity)

September 5, 2003 | Self

[lawgirl]

Turn your TV off and go outside. Only allow yourself an hour of TV news a day. That's what I had to do to wean myself from the news after 9/11. I had the TV on for a week solid - I would have to force myself to turn the TV off because I was so afraid I would miss something happening if I turned it off. My mom came over to help us paint our house and finally said "let's take a break". The freedom was exilarating when I turned the TV back on later that day and realized the world didn't end while I was painting my living room. ;)

Remember- the news is always bad. You never hear about the positive things going on. Our media's coverage of Iraq has shown me that. I listen to anything but FoxNews and you'd think it was collapsing. Then you come to FR and read emails from guys over there and realize things are going very well- we just have a media that hates our country and hates our president and is going to do whatever it can to destroy him. This includes LYING and DISTORTING!

[boris]

"It always surprises me that people believe that the Crusades are new. Not so. There have been horrific was [sic] going on for centuries. "The survivor of the clash will determine the course of human history from roughly this time forward. "

Might makes right?
Or maybe it's desperation, on both sides."

Might does not make right; but it does make winners. And the winners write the history books.

--Boris

[TigersEye]

I wonder if my vocal defense of Israel, on the Internet and in personal encounters, is doing good.

Undoubtedly! This piece that you have written is wonderful. Very well done from start to finish. It strikes a chord that all of us are familiar with and in the best traditions of FReeping includes links to vital points. (And it's formatted nicely too. ;) ) I only wish you would retitle it so it would be more widely read.

And round and round I go. This is extremely unhealthy.

It certainly can be. I have to echo what others have said; find some balance. Turn off the news, engage yourself in some enjoyable activity on a regular basis.

My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one.

Whatever your work may be, whether it's mowing lawns or translating for a conference of world leaders, it is important that you do it to the best of your ability. It is important for you and important for those you do it for. When the job is done it is done and time to let it go and look to the needs of yourself and those close to you. Bring the best of yourself, with a sense of optimism and joy, to everything you do. If the world rails against that then you know you have pricked the enemy with the dagger of truth. Stand firm and, with neither joy nor malice, push that dagger into the heart of that darkness.

Stick to your principles no matter what happens. Whatever your religious or philosophical beliefs are you can't deny this; this world is temporary. We're all gonna die! Die happy and proud of what you have made of yourself. It does make a difference!

[TigersEye]

Might makes right?
Or maybe it's desperation, on both sides.

Ya think?

If an armed thug attacks an armed citizen on a crowded street there's likely to be desperation on both sides ... and all around them too.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

I heard conservative radio host Glenn Beck state that a change in Islam must come from within... this is the only logical answer he could come up with, and he expounded upon it at length.

When the vast majority of the Muslim world does not denounce terrorism, does not believe in the right of survival, does not believe that Israel should exist, does not believe that the Great Satan and the Little Satan deserve mercy, does not believe that Arafat is a terrorist, believes that America should become a Muslim nation, etc... there is no other answer. Radical, militant Islam is silent when it comes to a call for peace.

We can all try to reach out to the Muslim world, we can all try to explain that our Western call for Democracy is not based upon a religious crusade. But, when September 11th happened, the jihadists rejoiced. If they see this as a religious war, then that is truly what it is. All we can do is defend ourselves, protect our interests, and offer our strength to Israel.

Your passionate concern on this issue shows that you haven't forgotten, and never could forget in the future. That in itself shows that your spirit calls for justice. In the end, justice will prevail.

Best wishes.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Heartfelt ping.

[Tac12]

Hey, grow up, do you really believe that?

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

I went out of my way to find writers with Arab Muslim names advocating peaceful coexistence with the rest of the world including Israel. They were few in number, and most appeared to be apostate in reality if not by admission.

I've said it here before, the silence of the moderates is deafening. That makes them complicit.

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

I notice that you're focusing on the Jewish/Muslim problem exclusively. There are a lot more problems in the world than that. I'll start the list and you can add to it ad infinitum: SARS, AIDS, West Nile virus, cancer, hunger, civil war in Africa, Muslims bombing not only Israel but all over, abortion, etc. ...

This is just to show you that there are a lot of problems in the world. I don't know why you're focusing on only one of them. These problems, and others still unknown, will continue long after you and I are gone. There are always going to be problems - and severe ones. We just have to make the best of what we have while we're here.

I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse - that's just the nature of the world.

I suggest you take a break from the news - as others have suggested. You really need it at this point. You're burned out with worry. Go on vacation. Take up a hobby. Go dancing!

I'm also a worrier, and I'm following my own advice. I just started continuing-ed classes at college. First one was last night - fun!

[Mind-numbed Robot]

In preparation for a response I read all everyone else has said to this point and I also checked your personal profile. Your profile is in harmony with what you write here. I agree with others, you write, think, and express yourself well. Many have offered good advice and mine will be only slightly different.

It seems to me that, being daily bombarded with condemnation of what you believe and praise for what you disbelieve, you have developed a feeling of hopelessness. Developed may not be the right word, that you have been conditioned into a sense of defeat and hopelessness may be a better description. That is a natural reaction.

What you and all of us need is a sense of confidence that good really does overcome evil. It is hard to develop confidence when the majority who agree with us are rarely heard and the opposite view is blasted at us continuously. That is true here in the U.S. as well as in Europe.

You also need to be confident that we really are on the side of good and that evil is not just some abstraction of confusing words and subtle linguistics, but is a real force that is what it says - EVIL.

The battle between good and evil is as old as man. The ME has been the birthplace of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. It has simultaneously been a vicious battle ground between them and evil ever since. However, with that as a background, the present conflict is a continuation of the resistance by the West to the drive for world domination by the Communists of the USSR and China. The Communists used the creation of Israel as an opportunity to exploit age old animosities between the Jews and the Arabs in order to drive the West out of that oil rich area. That would weaken us and strengthen them. The Arabs were admirers of Hitler and of Stalin, being tribal leaders accustomed to being dominant themselves, so they quickly embraced and cooperated with the Communists. We are still fighting that battle, but with the fall of the USSR they have adopted the Wahabbi Islamists as surrogates so they are not front and center, but it is still the same enemy - evil. (They are learning that snake will strike them just as readily as their enemies.)

Are Communists and Islamists evil? Communism came to power and stays in power through lies, deception, terror, genocide, torture, imprisonment, and the total suppression of individual freedom. Is that evil?

The Wahabbis are identical in tactics but differing only in that they are honest abut what they are doing and they incorporate God into their schemes where the Communist suppressed religion altogether. Since they do the same as the Communists, are they evil?

The Communists in the USA, still deceptively masquerading as the Democrat Party, are stalled in the stage of trying to gain power through lying and deceiving while also undermining the foundations of our society. They have made progress but so far we have held them at bay. Yet, if they gain total power the outcome will be the same and we have already agreed that is evil.

You know what you believe and you know the history of the United States, so satisfying you that we are good is not necessary. Therefore, common sense tells you that the battle between good and evil is basically a battle between the USA and most of the rest of the world. You should be happy to be on the side of good.

That said, can we win? We can if we keep strong, moral, America-loving people in office. Whether or not George Bush and his administration are as conservatively pure as many would like, he is the kind of person we need to win this battle for the survival of Western civilization.

He has taken the battle to the terrorists. If able to continue on his course we will defeat them and change their cultue in the entire ME. I am confident we will be able to stay on course, conditioned on our friends both at home and abroad realizing that survival is far more important than Medicare, the Education Bill, Free Trade, and all the other things they get their noses out of joint over. We must win this war above all else. I am confident we will.

The conflict between good and evil will go on forever. Prosperity and freedom are hard to shepherd through the many temptations they bring. Evil is always unencumbered in the battle for power while goodness is always hamstrung by rules, morals, and decency. It is an uneven fight.

Why then does goodness and freedom (there is no goodness with out free choice) always win, eventually, and why do they then gradually morph into what they overcame? Ask God because I don't know. I do know, though, that we must always fight the battle and stay ever vigilant. The ironic thing about the ongoing battle is that being good is far more satisfying than being evil or even carelessly slothful in our lives. Good just feels better. But as I said, Satan has the upper hand as far as we humans are concerned so our weakness shouldn't be surprising.

The battle between good and evil is what we are engaged in and it will be the same battle our progeny will be fighting. It doesn't matter whether the top dog is the USA, Russia, China, a new Ottoman empire, or whomever, the battle is always between good and evil.

I don't know if this is helpful or not. Getting grounded in what is the truth and what is not has helped me in the past. Confidence in your position is what you need, IMHO. From there, peace will come and you can then be yourself. Remember, you are good, you are supporting good, and good always wins. The others are evil and must eventually fall. Stay strong. Keep the faith.

[americanbychoice]

Very moving and well written.
As always, thanks for your contributions.

[Radix]

I would not decribe myself as depressed or despondent. The events of 9-11 were however very traumatizing for me as well. I saw the fall of the towers on that day, and I knew then that my life would never be the same. I had to reassess virtually every notion of right and wrong that I had ever considered.

I had particular concerns because my son was on the path to a military career. I knew that this would have a terrible impact on him as well as all of our volunteers in the Armed Forces. My son recently returned from that War. He will in all liklihood be back in a combat zone in due time. This is not something that a parent considers to be a postive thing. I struggled deeply with the events in Iraq as they were reported in a great variety of news resources.

The most frustrating thing for me has been the absolute disgrace that the mainstream media has been through their reporting of the dramatic events of and related to the war. The press has been slanting their reporting of events over there, and in other places which effect all of our daily lives. Personally, I find that to be a most discouraging phenomenon.

I have for many years been sort of a news junkie, and I have learned to take certain things with a grain of salt when I watch certain reporters, and pundits. The biased reporting that has come out (pretty much unrestrained since the Clinton era) has been outrageous in my view. The most disturbing thing (to me), and incredible thing is that this style has been escalating to a very marked degree. The liberal "journalists" have no scruples whatsoever in many cases.

I will not pretend that I understand all of the strategic moves that this current Administration is engaging in. I will say that just about a year ago, the Democrats (and liberals) were incredibly manipulated and it was a joy to behold. I am optimistic enough to believe that there is going to be a bit more of that before all is said and done. I have a lot of faith in the Bush team, and in this president. He is a born leader, and the media will stop at nothing to influence the sheep otherwise.

I suppose that I am just rambling, but I do have one thing of note to mention. I have watched the politics of the USA and Israel for more than 25 years. I have read a bit, and I have actually studied some during my college days concerning the history of the Middle East, and the politics of the region. During those 25 years or so, other than the War in 1973, I have not ever seen the Israelis be so unrestrained in their dealings with the primitive cuthroat pagans who refer to them selves as Peace loving. This Administration has taken Israel off of the leash just enough. The PLO and the other insane ones are feeling the sting of this new paradigm. I am saying, that we should pay more attention to what is being done than we should to what is being said.

There is nothing that any person can do that will result in the destruction of Israel. The Promises were made long ago, and the fruition of those guarantees are now being made manifest. Israel will last forever.

[risk]

Something seemed to be in the air, something that was making people edgy and aggressive.

Almost 65 years ago it was November ninth, 1938, Kristallnacht, or night of the broken glass:

Jews all over Europe knew the worst could be next. Some people, such as my father in America, knew that deathcamps already existed, and were beginning to fill with Jews. It would take us a while, but Americans refused to do nothing in the face of evil. I'm here to tell you we are going to do our best one more time. But I'm just another few bytes on your monitor. I can't make things easier for you today; no one can. Perhaps you can find comfort in your faith, among friends, or in a library. Speaking of libraries, remember the scene from Wim Wenders' film, Wings of Desire, in which Bruno Ganz (playing the role of an angel) visits the Berlin City library? I believe one of the readers he approaches and comforts is a survivor of the Holocaust, if I am not mistaken. If it's not the case, just imagine for a moment that one of the characters you recall from the film were a Holocaust survivor.

History is this long and protracted thing that none of us controls. But so many are living now. We, although I don't know why, are children of people who survived the biggest catyclysm in recent human history. But it shouldn't be that surprising. So many people have made it through to this moment, pushing their way into the world and breathing, laughing, hating, loving, joking, and struggling. I think the Second World War proved to the human race that it could survive. It gave us wonderous hope. And that hope isn't dead, not even a little bit wounded.

While you're thinking the worst, remember that many survived the most horrible, or died among people who had faith that their children would survive. My uncle lived under the boot of Japanese prison guards who beat him daily with their rifles; he nearly starved to death waiting for liberation. But he came home, met a beautiful woman, and had six kids. There is something irrepressable about the human spirit. You have that unbeatable nature, because you are a child of survivors. You are just like your grandparents and your parents, and you will go on. What about us? Your anguish has reached out across the Atlantic and touched many, and now we will not forget you. Those who went into the ovens taught us something we should never forget: living and appreciating life is worth fighting to our last breath to preserve.

I'll leave you with a poem read by the narrator at the end of the film, in German. There's a link to the English version at the end.

Lied Vom Kindsein
– Peter Handke


Als das Kind Kind war,
ging es mit hängenden Armen,
wollte der Bach sei ein Fluß,
der Fluß sei ein Strom,
und diese Pfütze das Meer.

Als das Kind Kind war,
wußte es nicht, daß es Kind war,
alles war ihm beseelt,
und alle Seelen waren eins.

Als das Kind Kind war,
hatte es von nichts eine Meinung,
hatte keine Gewohnheit,
saß oft im Schneidersitz,
lief aus dem Stand,
hatte einen Wirbel im Haar
und machte kein Gesicht beim fotografieren.

Als das Kind Kind war,
war es die Zeit der folgenden Fragen:
Warum bin ich ich und warum nicht du?
Warum bin ich hier und warum nicht dort?
Wann begann die Zeit und wo endet der Raum?
Ist das Leben unter der Sonne nicht bloß ein Traum?
Ist was ich sehe und höre und rieche
nicht bloß der Schein einer Welt vor der Welt?
Gibt es tatsächlich das Böse und Leute,
die wirklich die Bösen sind?
Wie kann es sein, daß ich, der ich bin,
bevor ich wurde, nicht war,
und daß einmal ich, der ich bin,
nicht mehr der ich bin, sein werde?

Als das Kind Kind war,
würgte es am Spinat, an den Erbsen, am Milchreis,
und am gedünsteten Blumenkohl.
und ißt jetzt das alles und nicht nur zur Not.

Als das Kind Kind war,
erwachte es einmal in einem fremden Bett
und jetzt immer wieder,
erschienen ihm viele Menschen schön
und jetzt nur noch im Glücksfall,
stellte es sich klar ein Paradies vor
und kann es jetzt höchstens ahnen,
konnte es sich Nichts nicht denken
und schaudert heute davor.

Als das Kind Kind war,
spielte es mit Begeisterung
und jetzt, so ganz bei der Sache wie damals, nur noch,
wenn diese Sache seine Arbeit ist.

Als das Kind Kind war,
genügten ihm als Nahrung Apfel, Brot,
und so ist es immer noch.

Als das Kind Kind war,
fielen ihm die Beeren wie nur Beeren in die Hand
und jetzt immer noch,
machten ihm die frischen Walnüsse eine rauhe Zunge
und jetzt immer noch,
hatte es auf jedem Berg
die Sehnsucht nach dem immer höheren Berg,
und in jeden Stadt
die Sehnsucht nach der noch größeren Stadt,
und das ist immer noch so,
griff im Wipfel eines Baums nach dem Kirschen in einemHochgefühl
wie auch heute noch,
eine Scheu vor jedem Fremden
und hat sie immer noch,
wartete es auf den ersten Schnee,
und wartet so immer noch.

Als das Kind Kind war,
warf es einen Stock als Lanze gegen den Baum,
und sie zittert da heute noch.

English Version "Song of Childhood By Peter Handke

[Publius6961]

There had been a period in history when life in Muslim-ruled places was better, on balance, than in Christian Europe, but that period was long past.

And one might add painfully brief, in the larger scheme of things.
Apologists and propagandists love to talk of this brief period, as if somehow it has relevance on what is happening today.

Islam today is a parody, a caricature of any valuable historical culture, including their own.
As to historical curiosities? They are entertaining and amusing, perhaps even educational, but entirely irrelevant to the world today.

Islam seems bent on suicide, relying on the stupidity of the kum-ba-ya crowd.
I say let's accomodate them quickly, and have it done with.

[Publius6961]

In a perverse way, the destruction of Israel may even galvanize the Europeans; dead Jews are good for shedding tears of anger.

I very much doubt this.
Even a third siege of Vienna could not arouse the fat comfortable clueless Europeans of today.

Come to think of it, this third siege might actually come from the west.

John Sobieski, may your spirit live free and strong and defiant still, somewhere in Europe.

[risk]

Besides, that was just one dark moment, however brief. Moreover, during that time, Catholic monks were transcribing books by the hundreds in an effort to preserve western civilization. The germ of our own intellectual and religious freedoms was beginning to grow already. America is the result of that germ. That is why we're hated so much. And it's why we take such good care of Israel. Israel gave us our first words to read, and words -- any spoken, written, or read with true passion -- are the fuel that burns in the lamp of liberty.

[Publius6961]

It always surprises me that people believe that the Crusades are new. Not so. There have been horrific was going on for centuries.

It's rare to see such monumental ignorance.
I will give you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps you meant well.

But confounding and equating "Crusade" with "Jihad" has got to be the monumental blunder of current times.

It's true. The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

[Publius6961]

Lots of thoughtful people have been obsessed and depressed for 2 years now. My therapist's effective advice is to stay away from the news as much as possible or it will eat you alive.

Unfortunately, in real life, hiding in the closet will not make the monster go away.
Children have a right to that approach. Do adults?

[Tijeras_Slim]

There are things the human mind cannot grasp in their entirity, problems the unaided intellect can never solve. Know right from wrong and you can steel yourself against them. Seek a lightness of heart. Find comfort in the company of friends.

We are here.

[Publius6961]

BUMP!