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I am beginning to wonder if some of the nay-sayers are right. I'm becoming disillusioned about my ability to teach after teaching my son since he was 3. He's now 9. Yesterday we started school and all I got was an attitude about such mundane things as a spelling test or a short math exercise. He can read. He can do math (when he wants). He needs a lot of work on his spelling. He loves science. He's in fourth grade and can write, but I didn't teach him cursive. I wonder if I am failing him. The only reason he says he hasn't wanted to go to regular school is because of my opinion of it. Otherwise, he has stated that he would like to test it. I don't even know where to look for another school.
We had plans on having a holiday at the end of the month. The children were to meet an artist showing at Yarnell art gallery, plus we were going to do a bit on Az. history and
nature studies. I am ready to give up on teaching him, though. Even when I find things that I plan out things focused on his interests, I still end up butting heads with him. I have other children who do want to learn in a home setting. It just may not be for him.

I think you've got a typical boy (or any kid) thing for this age. My 9yo is a pain, too. Management from their Dad is good! Are you giving him plenty of exercise?

Regarding cursive - he needs to know how to sign his name, but other than that, the majority of adults regularly use printing.

With spelling, you might want to search out some of the different theories on how people learn spelling, and see if can pick out a program that would work with your son. I know there are many different approaches, because my friends have tried them all. I haven't yet had a child struggling with spelling, although I may be getting there with my second-grader (the kid who can spell every work phonetically correct, but the wrong spelling.)

If you son is excited by science, he can have a science-based curriculum and still learn other subjects. He can read and write about scientific topics. He can do experiments and write reports on them. A large part of scientific research is recording the data and analyzing it.

Math is also a huge part of science. He needs some experiments that require taking measurements and then using those numbers. Find averages. Find the largest or smallest. Find fractions of things.

Do you know anyone who works in science? A chemist, medical professional, etc? Maybe they can help. If he is interested in biology, try the local conservation center. Ours is great, even if it is run by the state. They are very homeschool friendly and let us check out the kits used in schools.

Our children are going to a private Christian school and learned cursive writing from kindergarten on. It seems this is unusual, yet my 7 year old in 3rd grade has handwriting far better than mine (I never learned properly). It is a useful skill and imho you shouldnt skimp on it, although I manage with my lousy hand-writing I often joke about the 'chicken-scratch' I make. You'll need focussed teaching of it if you want him writing cursive, and imho you shouldnt wait because even 5 yearolds can be taught it and the sooner they start the easy it becomes their habit.

If your son has an 'attitude' about learning needed things in home, it may not be the right structure for him. Discipline and motivation are essential for learning to happen, so whatever environment has that for him would be best.

I would say you were NOT normal if you didn't question your decision from time to time ... especially if you have a strong-willed child. The bottom line is is this a calling for you or simply a choice. If it is the former you must find a way past your son's more challenging traits.

What I see is a parent who has laid out a keen understanding of their child. Tell me if any overburdened teacher with a classroom of 25-30 kids is going to know your child like you do.

I just went to the AZ Homeschool convention in July and a speaker made a great comment after a question like yours from the audience. The father asked the same thing since he had a son really pressing hard on going to a gov't school. The father wasn't conflicted just fatigued by the constant grief he was getting from the son. The bottom line answer from the speaker was if you know in your heart of hearts that this is your calling for your children you must do share that with the child and the fact that floating in and out of homeschool is not an option.

Hope this helps, but from the way you explain it I don't see a parent that is failing their child. You may yet decide to place him in the gov't school or a private one. At the end of the day you need to make the best decision for you, your family and ultimately your son. Good luck.

He can read. He can do math (when he wants). He needs a lot of work on his spelling. He loves science. He's in fourth grade and can write, but I didn't teach him cursive. I wonder if I am failing him.

No, you are not failing him. He can read, and apparently loves to read, which puts him ahead of 80% of high school graducates. He has a passion. Pour gasoline on that flame, and good things will happen. Pray for wisdom -- I'm praying for you, too!

BTW -- we finally put our two oldest kids in a public school -- NC State University. I taught them to type at age 7 -- and their "cursive" is something to curse about! They still hand-letter like second graders! But, Dori can type 130 wpm, so I'm not complaining!

I assure you -- you will not succeed in every area. But so what -- the successes will more than compensate for the failures. And on top of that, when he starts stepping out into adulthood, he'll still be on your side. Not professionally alienated from those realities you value more than life itself.

I have often encountered Christian parents who wept over how their public school "educated" kids turned out. In my nearly 20 years of hanging around home schoolers, I've never met one who grieved that way.

I tried to teach my son cursive writing when he was in fourth grade, but he wasn't ready for it. I tried to teach my daughter two years later, same result. I really worried at the time that they weren't learning what the other kids did. However, I left them alone for a couple of years and now they both write very neatly in cursive. I believe that children have to mature at their own pace when it comes to things like writing. Also, I think that most of the time the average American citizen is asked to print everything that they have to fill out, applications etc. Cursive writing was used for letter writing back before the technological advances of today. JMO

I homeschooled two daughters. The oldest was self-motivated and now working on her second BS. The youngest was like your son. Teaching her was like dragging a stubborn mule through a briar patch. We butted heads often.

Here's what I'd like you to consider:

Before I started homeshooling, the stubborn one was going to public school, hating it, getting straight A's; and the teacher was encouraging us to have her put on Ritilin because she was a disciplinary problem.

Starting homeschooling, I soon found that she was illiterate at age nine.

Now it's your call on what to do about your son's schooling, but you should consider that a stubborn learner at home will be a stubborn learner in public school; and students like those are often marginalized, drugged, advanced without qualification, and ultimately graduated having little valuable knowledge.

Teaching the girl was always a chore, but I made sure she was , at least, learning things and advancing, reading and discussing, held on-task; it was only my dogged persistence that worked to get her educated. (The pisser was, that she is a mathematical savant...able to solve quadratic equasions in her head, e.g.....very casually)

She started, then quit college, twice: didn't know what she wanted to do ....other than have fun with her friends.

But now, after a few years of lollygagging, working as a bartender and waitress, she's panicking as she sees her sister and friends with the enormous opportunities they have earned through hard work and college degrees: she's feeling left behind.

So she's suddenly motivated, signed up for courses, and saving her money.

The point is, that if I hadn't pulled her through those briars all those years, she would, now, be motivated, but without the skills she needs to advance. All that crap...like grammar and history and math...that I forced into her is now serving her desires. She acknowledges this, and is grateful for my strong discipline and "you will learn" approach.

I don't think a public school can achieve these results with a reluctant learner. Maybe a PS could inspire something in your boy, but most likely not. He may enjoy the ease with which he can pass his years there, then graduate with a serious dearth of useful knowledge...and a gaggle of bad habits: a life-long handicap.

Teaching my problem student was not often fun, but I feel great satisfaction that the hard work is yielding, and will yield, positive results: she'll only be a bartender if she wants to be one.

I'm certain that her life would be a disaster had I not, myself, taken on the task of educating her.

I hope this story is of use to you as you decide which course.