Posted on 08/30/2003 6:17:08 AM PDT by Captainpaintball
Dear ACLU:
Congratulations, comrades! You've won again! Removing Judge Roy Moores Ten Commandments monument from the State Courthouse in Alabama was nice, but it was only the first step in a logical, necessary progression to eliminate the influence of God from all vestiges of American society! Your work is far from over! The next step is to remove the words "In God We Trust" from our currency, so not to offend the atheists worried the phrase is an "establishment of religion."
Then you must work to remove the 10 Commandments etched in marble above the Supreme Court's bench. Fear not, my brothers and sisters, you have 5 or 6 fellow travelers, I mean, judges (ahem!) on that court (including one former fellow ACLU director) who are more than sympathetic to your cause.
After that victory, you must continue the struggle! Don't rest on your laurels; there is more work to be done! Think of all the federal monuments, statues, landmarks, and memorials all across the fruited plain that mention God--they must be removed. Some can be "repaired" by jackhammering or covering the offensive speech. Other, more politically incorrect examples (To be determined by those with similar politics to yours, of course) can be removed altogether!
You can expect some resistance, but don't fear! Those Christians have no staying power, and they will fold like cheap tents when you scream "Intolerant!" "bigot!" "homophobe!"... and all the other words you learned in your university/law school training. And I know some of you may be asking yourself "Aren't the 10 Commandments the fundamental basis of the Jewish religion as well?" That may be true, but you can easily defuse that situation by bringing up the upcoming Mel Gibson movie, even though it hasnt come out yet. Remember, the ends justify the means. You cannot allow the Jews and Christians to unite on this issue--keep them separated by scare tactics, stereotypes, and visions of "bible-thumping," "fire and brimstone" backwoods preachers. Our friends in the media will help you here.
The next logical steps would be to bar churches from providing "Sunday school" sessions in public school buildings, and to end the US Postal Service's shameful practice of offering Christmas-themed stamps. If you really want a challenge, work on covering up or breaking off the crosses in our national cemeteries.
Your friends in elementary and secondary schools and state-run universities will become more determined than ever to further the already invaluable progress they have made in secularizing the legions of dumbed-down children entrusted to them. They will continue to neglect teaching our nations history, traditions, concepts, and originsand how God played a central role in each of those cases. When our children fail to learn the past, they fail to correctly judge the future.
You may think this would be the moment to pop open those champagne bottles, but wait! Put down that bottle opener. You haven't even scratched the surface!
The next step is to remove Christianity from the PRIVATE sector! Just think...the possibilities are endless! Get creative!
After chiseling religious scripture and symbols from church buildings, (sparing the eyes of those looking for every opportunity to be offended) after pressuring jewelry retailers from offering crosses and crucifixes in their catalogs, (relegating such offensive items to be special ordered, or kept wrapped up in the back of the store, to protect the innocent shopper) you can then ban outdoor nativity scenes from businesses and homes.
While it is true that Dennis Miller was correct in saying that although those of you in the ACLU are against citizens and organizations from constructing nativity scenes, but are for the right of a drunk pervert to stumble into one and have sex with the sheep, so what? The people must be made to understand that we, as humans, possess diverse sexual persuasions. Thats why you support NAMBLA and child pornography in public libraries!
Boycotting candy makers and greeting card companies that make Christmas and Easter-themed products would help, too. Our friends in Hollywood would get the message--No more Christmas and Easter specials! Expect some religious groups and concerned citizens to fight back. Fine, bring em on! They have jobs, families, sports, American Idol and their own complacency to deal with!
Thats when you take the final step, move in for the kill, and use our friends in the courts to abolish religion altogether and make America secular and socialistThe way the ACLU founder, and communist, Roger Baldwin would have wanted it!
For example, we can prove in courts of law that the Bible is hate speech! and offensive to certain groups. This argument has already seen success in Europe and Canada. Why not here?
The belief in God is dangerous. It goes against everything a good socialist and/or atheist lives and breathes for. A good socialist and/or atheist does not believe in God In The Highest. A good socialist and/or atheist believes man, (specifically, the State) is the highest power. Separating God from our laws is an important first step on the road to an all-powerful, all-encompassing State. Just call yourselves patriots, wrap yourselves in the flag, and youll be fine. Heed the words of your founder:
"Do steer away from making it [the ACLU] look like a socialist enterprise. We want to look like patriots in every thing we do. We want to get a lot of flags, talk a good deal about the Constitution and what our forefathers wanted to make of the country and show we are really the folks that stand by the spirit of our institutions."
Day by day, bit by bit, stone tablet by stone tablet, you patriots get closer to living your dream. Pardon the pun, but I wish you Godspeed!
</violent, barf-inducing sarcasm>
Can't have any Bibles in Public Libraries!
Removal must be a priority!
ML/NJ
-- Imagery that's worth a 1000-words.
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