These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Quix]

As best as I can recall, it was through extensive questionnaires of the spouses of a diversity of women. That was one of the surprising facts that surfaced.

I don't know that it's across the board and I suppose degree of fat is a factor.

But there was a very significantly greater sexual satisfaction, fulfillment etc. reported by husbands of fatter women than by husbands of the stereotypic beauties.

What explanation do you have for the finding?

[agrace]

Twas a joke, you dumb male.

All men - dumb dumb dumb. ;)

[austinTparty]

Remember the movie "Flash Gordon" with Queen doing all the great music? In the movie, there were these planets that were only inhabitted by men.

Great places to hang out.... a little bit too gay, though, for my taste.

You sure that wasn't FLESH Gordon?!

[Quix]

Be cautious.

Some historic unhealed hurts, unfilled buckets can be extremely corrosive in terms of long term relationships.

But if you are a great match/balance--certainly worth considering. Well matched folks are such a rarity these days.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Typical Free Republic thread.

[Phantom Lord]

I found fat chics were easier to hook up with. Seemed to me that a man giving them attention over their slender friends was all it too to get em!

Relax people, I was being sarcastic. Sorta

[honeygrl]

I've given many many many more backrubs than I've recieved. But, I do love my hubby even without the backrubs. He's a great guy, just doesn't do backrubs. A footrub is out of the question too. He won't even let me touch his feet, muchless touch my feet. He has this weird aversion to feet.

[Pukin Dog]

Yes we are. No argument there. We dont need to be smart. Fat women want us anyway.

[Quilla]

His happiness is one of my main concerns. He likes to hunt and fish. I like to buy guns and boats.

[WKB]

I found fat chics were easier to hook up with.

I know a guy who only picked up fat girls so if his
wife ever about it he could say
"Do you really think I would go with something like that"

[Pukin Dog]

What explanation do you have for the finding?

Maybe because fat women look like they are moving, even when they are not? LOL. Time to make my safe exit from this thread.

[honeygrl]

Maybe men are more self conscience with fitter women so don't let themselves have as much fun? If that were the case, it would be the men's fault, not the women's.

[StriperSniper]

Be cautious.

Indeed, thus my caveat - "(if she ever resolves those issues) ", I know at this point she is at least aware of most, but still hasn't resolved them. That's why I gave up investing any more effort into it, but there will always be a place in my heart for her if/when she/us are ready to try again.

[beachn4fun]

The fact that I relate to this list may explain why I'm 50 & still single.

You have great insight... though!!!

[beachn4fun]

I've got a good quote for you guys....

---

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

[bt_dooftlook]

Or perhaps whichever way the head turns, the neck is there to support it...;)

[agrace]

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

What is the difference between government bonds and men?
Government bonds mature.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows, it's never happened.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

[Pukin Dog]

Okay, you win.

[krunkygirl]

I am guilty of violating all the "rules" but they were great fun to read...

[Neets]

And how many freeper dudes will give us their measurements??

*wink*