These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Quix]

I have a double thick garden kneeling pad on the right side because I clean my bathroom and I don't like unnecessary bother cleaning up the pee splatter so often.

Thoughtfulness and Loving kindness are great currencies in any relationship one really values.

But as humor, the list was fun.

[PleaseNoMore]

Do the dating years count? If so, I have his mommy beat!

[Hatteras]

A friend of mine was that kind of husband to his wife. Waited on her hand and foot, let her sleep in until noon on the weekends, bought her all kinds of goodies including flowers for no particular reason. He was "the perfect husband" as his wife used to say and my wife used to remind me of all the time. Made me sick.

Well, one Saturday morning, he got up around 6am, let her sleep like usual, and he proceeded to pack his bags and load all his good stuff in the back of his truck, left his cell phone on the kitchen counter and drove away. Last I heard, he was somewhere in the Carribean... I can't help but think of how irresponsible he was. How can a guy leave his football watching buddies behind like that?! And what's worse is that it was his weekend to have the party!!! Seriously though, I get a good chuckle everytime I think about it.

[agrace]

Are you Pukin because some woman punched you in the gut?

[PleaseNoMore]

Oh you are too kind! When mine snores he usually gets pushed out of bed. I am sorry but for all of his quirks that I have adjusted to, snoring is not one of them. :o)

[honeygrl]

Geez! I guess he was just biding his time until he saved up enough money for what he wanted.

[justshe]

Ah........since I have never knowingly listened to Metallica...I wouldn't have known that. Thanks!

[Quix]

Women's initiated stimuli with such items--you're right--it's a query, request, even demand to know--

do you really love me.

Given the numbers of poorly fathered women running around hooking up . . . small wonder they'd persistently ask such a question.

And male's typical responses are ARROGANCE/PRIDE driven--also typically from poorly fathered males insecurely needing to assert their dominance as proof that they are worth something as males.

Sheesh. What a pissing-in-the-wind merry go round.

There are better ways to enrich relationships--than to piss against the wind or in each other's faces.

DOING UNTO OTHERS . . . isn't bad.

Being sacrificial servant-hearted is great.

Going the 2nd, 3rd, 10th mile is great.

Out-loving each other instead of our manipulating, out-accusing, out-demanding of each other is great.

[justshe]

Not unless he LIVED with you during the dating years.

It's the 'living with' that counts towards the ultimate goal!

[Fester Chugabrew]

"There can a slight dispersion issue . . . "

Dontcha just hate those bifurcate streams - one in the can and one on the floor?

[WKB]

She needs to go on a diet, Laz.


This is 36 weeks on the Adkins diet.

[Quilla]

We sleep in a small bed as well, and he snores, but I've gotten used to it -- if I fall asleep before he gets cranked up, I never hear him. If he falls asleep first, then I just elbow him until I go to sleep.

Hubby says I snore - that's his only fault - telling a lie like that!

Yes, I do believe I saw this posted not long ago as well. It's still fun though. The gents I work with don't know what I'm laughing so hard about this morning. I just don't think they'll get it if I explain that someone named Pukin Dog is saying I'm fat. LOL!

[najida]

Oh you are too kind! When mine snores he usually gets pushed out of bed. I am sorry but for all of his quirks that I have adjusted to, snoring is not one of them. :o)

My hubby not only snored but thrashed, kicked and talked in his sleep. Plus he got up about 3 times each night to pee and take meds etc. And I was working a 12-16 hour work day at the time.

We finally started sleeping in separate bedrooms.

[Quix]

Sounds like a winning relationship to me.

Many people are not REALLY prepared to pay the price for such intimacy--the price in putting the other person first.

And a lot of them are skillful at blaming the other person.

All of us are designed to need, maybe even crave such intimacy. But fears, unhealed historic hurts etc. give us reflexes and aversions to the necessary components of such intimacy.

Too few realize that giving ourselves away freely is the greatest way, generally, to receive more than we can contain.

[Quix]

My 78 year old Alzheimer's ridden mother goes to bed early and will twitch her leg etc. until 80 year old dad joins her. As long as some part of his body is touching her, she'll be out cold and no twitching.

Warm, intimate, comfortable secure feelings can be nice.

[PleaseNoMore]

Yesterday morning I when I woke up I told my husband that I was never sleeping in the same bed with him again. The night before he mumbled and snored and tossed and deprived me of my beauty rest. Last night I slept on the couch only because he beat me to the bed and was asleep when I got there.

[Quilla]

Too few realize that giving ourselves away freely is the greatest way, generally, to receive more than we can contain.

Beautifully put.

[Quix]

Absent and/or abusive fathers don't help make good preparations for girls, though.

Nor for sons to be hubbies, either.

[WKB]

Last night I slept on the couch only because he beat me to the bed and was asleep when I got there.



Daddy said he would rather sleep with a "wet dog' than momma. My daddy was a mess!

[Quix]

Women have more surface area of their brains devoted to verbal communications, nuance analysis etc.

Men CAN learn such--at least many can--but it takes concentration and significant effort.

But screwy communications from either side are destructive.

Read up on the differences between men and women's communications--such as Tanner and even Gray sp? It's one way of working toward bridging the gap.