Entering the belly of The BEAST. My day with Hillary

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Today was a very special day.

I had the supreme opportunity to meet Hillary Rottenbottom at Miejer's Thrifty Acres, in Auburn Hills, Michigan.

I arrived around 10:30 am, for her 11:00 am book signing. The parking lot was packed.

I went into the store and was confronted by a sea of overweight housewives in white T shirts and shorts. You would have thought that this was an e-ticket ride for DisneyWorld. Fanny packs abound.

The line wound around the perimeter of the store. Hundreds upon hundreds of clones. All so very excited. They were there to meet their Queen.

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels, and I didn't feel like standing there for 2 hours just to meet her hieniousness.

Suddenly a dear friend of mine who is the camerman for a news station saw me in line, and asked what in the world I was doing there. I told him that I was up to shenanigans, and he told me to come with him, and pulled me out of line. He took me up near the front and placed me in line. I was about 25 people back from the Throne Of Hillary.

As I was waiting, I just stood and listened to the lobotomized clones around me. They could barely contain their glee. " Hillary is so wonderful. She will be our greatest president"." She is the best wife and mother"........

And don't even get me started about the wimpy men that were in line. It was mostly women, but there were a couple of husbands, probably because their wives were too overwrought with emotion to drive themselves to the Thrifty Acres.

Suddenly, with a smidgen of fanfare, from the bowells of hell, appears Hillary!. I called an audible. I said " Oh lord, she has a soccer ball in there". Oops, I didn't know I said that out loud. Silly me.

Yes indeed folks, Hillary, looking ever so hideous in a fuschia jacket, black trousers, and black sensible shoes, actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly. Maybe it's a tumor, heck if I know, but there is something there. Hey, maybe it's a fannypack!

Today was obviously not a 'bath day' for the old gal. Her hair was undone, no makeup, no lipstick, but she did have earrings.

As we got closer, women around me started crying. Yes, you read that right, they were CRYING! They couldn't wait to meet Hillary. I honestly thought that some of them would pass out and die on the spot. It was from either too much excitement, or the copious amount of doughnuts that they had consumed over their lifetime.

There was an elderly lady in front of me that asked me for support. She felt faint from all the excitement.

..............as a small aside, Hillary is fuzzy. Remember those soaps you had as a kid, you got them wet and in a few days they grew fuz? Hillary has a very fuzzy face. And it's very round. Pumpkin round. Fuzzy and round and falling. Gravity is not being kind. ..........

Back to the old lady....

She kibbitzed with Hillary about how proud she was of her and how she will be a great president. Hillary shook her head, signed the books that were being shoved in front of her, and then came me.

I was in orange and fuschia in the sea of white T shirts and Hillary buttons. Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

IF LOOKS COULD KILL.

Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

If only she knew that the one questioning her was actually her nemesis...Hillary's Lovely Legs.

Suddenly a vice-like grip was on my left arm, and I was pulled away from Hillary. They handed me my book, and I was on my way.

My cameraman friend said he got it on tape and hopes he can use it, but he wanted to know what in the world I said to her to make her use her " GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE face".

I told him that I said " I have Vince Foster's murder on tape".

My silly friend, he thought I was serious. I told him what I really said and he laughed. I hope to get a copy of the tape. It will be priceless.

So I left the Thrifty Acres among the clones clutching their precious books with tears in their eyes, and as I was exiting, I came across the Hillary Rodham Clinton Support Group.

This is an organization of old bitties from Ann Arbor. They all had on matching T-Shirts with a big photo of Hillary on it. They carried signs that said " Hillary" and matching sun visors. They were going to go in for a private meeting with Hillary and a photo session. They have been so supportive of her, she had been through so much and is such a wonderful woman. ( oh spare me)

So that's it. I entered the belly of the beast and got to see old fuzzy face and survived.

So where's my T-shirt?

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

You rock!

 

Thank you !

[sultan88]

"Wonder what would have happened had her parents sent her to Wheaton (IL, not MA)."

She might have turned out like our cherry_bomb88!

[demkicker]

Thanks so much for entertaining us with your Hildebeast experience! You've got nerves of steel. Make many copies of the video, for insurance purposes! Sounds like you've really p*ssed off the old hag.

[SerpentDove]

My sister's friend in Arkansas is Chelsea's age, knew her from dance class (I don't know, around fifth grade or so), and was invited to her birthday party when she was a kid.

She said it was so weird. Chelsea took all her presents, went in the corner by herself and opened them, and didn't say a word to anybody. Party over.

The family is just plain looney tunes, all of them.

[Syncro]

I love this picture...

But dontcha think she should have those two caps yellowed to match the rest of her teeth? LOL

[SerpentDove]

A few of us Texans FReeped Hillary when she came in town to a fundraiser in somebody's home a few years back.

I yelled VERY LOUDLY from across the street, "GET OUT OF TEXAS, HILLARY!!! YOU ARE A LOSER!!!"

She heard it. Ya wanna know how I know she heard it? Because it echoed off the houses down the street, of the fru-fru uppity-crust North Dallas Neighborhood all the while the News 8 cameras were videotaping her regal exit.

The sound was removed by the time it made the local news though. Wonder why?

But the cameraman came and got a close-up of the FREEPERS and our signs. We smiled and gave a thumb's up, and he was smiling the whole time.

Like I said, "life's precious moments."

[daisyscarlett]

Thank you, thank you, thank you....

[humblegunner]

Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

Wholly guacamole! A face-to-face encounter with the Queen of Evil?!??!
Wash with Ivory and pray hard.. I hear she's like radiation.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

She didn't look like she had mascara or eyeshadow or lipstick on. The photos look like she has some makeup on. I was only next to her for a minute or so. All I recall was the fuzz and dirty hair. THE FUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

[BillF]

With us, they get a quote like "she's got a lot of history she doesn't want you to know about, and we encourage everyone to look closely at that history."

Brilliant line that you had.

Between you & others in Atlanta action, this double devil FReep in Kansas City, the outside Michigan fantastic first FReep on this thread, and the incredible inside FReep of Hillary's lovely legs described above, Hillary is not having a good week.

[Syncro]

Grate job, I am not as good as you to get in the line to have a book signed.

But the Book Store owners would not let me get in line with this book:

I guess was to obvious...

[taildragger]

Lovely Legs,

Man oh man do you have brass ones!

The power of the english language, with one line you conveyed it all, my hats off to you.

I live here in Canton and I just couldn't go, I would not have had that composure, or brevity of wit that you did.

Also when and were do Michigan Freepers (Greater Metro Detroit) Meet?

[jla]

Check this out...you'll love it!!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I don't know where Metro Michigan Freepers meet. I don't think we ever met, or maybe they have and I wasn't invited :(

[jla]

...actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly.

H has put on weight, and it all seems to amass at her waist, hips, & rear.
She definitely has that very pronounced 'pear-shape'.

[Hostage]

Well good job but I can't really see the point. You and I and 100 million other people share a dislike of Hillary Clinton. Most people I know think her dangerous to this country.

But then again alot of people think certain politicians are dangerous to the country.

My question is how would you advise a serious candidate to run against her either for Senator from New York or the White House?

I just don't think attacking her personally or attacking her at all will keep all those fanny packs from voting for her.

The only effective approach I can think of to deafeat her is to ignore her and win votes with a combination of charisma and serious focus on people and their needs.

Personal attacks just don't seem to cut off her base, rather they energize it. Attacks on her politics also seem to energize her base.

What seems to work is ignoring her to the point where she feels irrelevant and causing her to barge onto a scene with a lack of focus. She did this recently in a speech about how she was tired of people being called unpatriotic when they criticized the President's policies. Her demeanor was awful and Dick Morris commented that was the real Hillary.

[Stopislamnow]

Great job and thank you HLL, I was helping bust out a driveway this morning.

Before every swing of the sledge, I imagined Billary right where I wanted to hit...

[SerpentDove]

>>I just don't think attacking her personally or attacking her at all will keep all those fanny packs from voting for her.<<

Maybe it's razzing Hillary for the sake of razzing Hillary. It's a blast; you really should try it.

And it truly grates on her, which is a reward in itself.

[humblegunner]

"Oh, it is true, I like the facial hair...

Can she carry my women across the desert?
I will pay four goats, no more!"