The Rainbow Menace

Working For Change ^ | August 6, 2003 | Will Durst

[theoverseer]

You know what, I think its time for each and every one of us to get down on our scrawny unemployed knees and thank god for George Bush. The man has just gone and rescued the fragile moral fiber of this country once again. Can I get a Hallelujah? Only through the grace of Dubyah's faith have we finally been able to identify the fresh cancer poised to eat through the intestines of the American belly. And that toxic threat is gay marriage. It's hard to imagine anything more subversive than two people of the same sex hugging and kissing and cooking and sleeping together, which unfortunately they are now allowed to do. But apparently that's not enough. Now, they want the same social benefits decent God- fearing people possess AND protections under the law as well. As Justice Scalia says, the radical agenda of these sodomites will not end until they have permeated society disguised as ordinary human beings.

The only way to avert this danger and save ourselves from the seditious spread of the heathen spawn represented by those so called loving people claiming they only wish to be with each other is to prevent them from holding partnership rights under the law, at all, ever. See, if we can only do that, we'll be perfectly fine. And we won't have to worry about those nasty horrible terrorists anymore, or where Saddam and Osama are or why the economy is flatter than a Kansas wheat field after harvest. And that's why we’ve got to clamp down on these poisonous perverts burrowing into the midsection of our heartland with their blasphemous ceremonies.

This choir has sung before. It's the same standard hymn 37 states have already hummed passing the "Defense of Marriage Act," which defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman ONLY and bars recognition of same sex marriages from other states, in case one of the Sneaky Godless ones like Oregon or California or Vermont tries to pull something tricky. Smart move, actually, since same sex marriages are now legal in Canada, Belgium and the Netherlands. You know, the Sneaky Godless countries who also refuse to treat marijuana smokers like the heinous criminals they are.

This pendulum swing to the wrong side of the rainbow must be nipped in the tulip bud immediately. Television networks have recently discovered that niche marketing focusing on gays can translate into fat ratings. And though networks are run by huge conglomerates headed up by conservative CEOs, we all know what can happen when a good and decent ideologue is forced to choose between his beliefs and a big pile of green.

Even the Catholic Church has weighed in on the matter with the Pope threatening to ex-communicate any priest officiating at a gay union, although to perfectly honest, having the Catholic Church on our side in this one is like using Mike Tyson as an expert witness in Anger Management. Like having oil companies write our national environmental standards. Sorry, bad analogy there.

The specter of gay dominance over our culture looms on the horizon like a black, size gazillion, three-button Gianni Versace suit with contrast piping and a silk crew t. How long before the streets of every small American town are transformed into idyllic playgrounds for men and women strolling unashamed, holding hands flaunting their "normalcy" in front of our children?

It's an imminent peril and not merely a desperate distraction like the loony left insists. I repeat: this is not a distraction. Just like the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq weren't a distraction. No, this is even more of not a distraction than the weapons in Iraq weren't a mass distraction. What I mean is, this is even less destruction than that. In other words, no distraction at all. You know what I mean.

[.cnI redruM]

The bong-water runneth over.

[Tacis]

You want to see our freedom of speech disappear fast? You know the fairy flag, the one with the rainbow colors that flies all over California and has some, but who knows what, faggot meaning? Take the same flag and put a great big red circle with diagonal bar on it and try to fly it. Flying it with the additional, they will shriek, is a hate message, while flying it tinkerbell style isn't.

Look, they are deviants. I know how it pains normal parents, but fairy kids either have a genetic flaw or a behavioral disease. We should be trying to cure them and make them as nrmal as we can, not destroying our culture and civilization so as not to be judgmental about a bunch of deviant and perverted freaks.

[Old Sarge]

Applause...

[StarCMC]

Thank God they can't reproduce!

[CherylBower]

They do reproduce. It's called recruitment. Over their dead body will they get my son/daughter.

[StarCMC]

Right back at you -- that's why I HS. I want to teach 'em right from the beginning.

[MineralMan]

"Thank God they can't reproduce!
"

Who says gays don't reproduce? I know several women who are lesbians who have children of their own. I know several men who are gay who have donated sperm to sperm banks and others who have donated sperm to some of the lesbian mothers.

But, heterosexual couples seem to produce the same percentage of homosexual offspring decade after decade. That's just the way it is. Some folks are homosexual, and thus has it always been.

I realize that you don't like that, but it's a fact.

[StarCMC]

Ok, I'll change my response:

Thank God they can't reproduce on their own, in their homosexual relationships. And by the way, I think it's a disgrace that they are allowed to have children. Not that there aren't plenty of hetero's out there that I feel the same way about.

[ChocChipCookie]

So what is this guy's point??

[MineralMan]

"Thank God they can't reproduce on their own, in their homosexual relationships. And by the way, I think it's a disgrace that they are allowed to have children. Not that there aren't plenty of hetero's out there that I feel the same way about.
"

Interesting. How would you propose that you prohibit them from having children on their own? That seems rather an odd position for a conservative to take. The freedom to reproduce seems to me to be one of the basic freedoms we all enjoy.

Maybe you'd like to lock them all up in a prison? Forced sterilization, perhaps? What would be your plan?

Please remember that the freedom you take away from one group of people may well be taken away from you next year. Use caution.

One more thing: Most children of homosexuals end up being straight, the same as most children of heterosexuals. One kid I know who's the son of a lesbian is straight as an arrow. Nice kid, too. Hard worker and the star QB on the local HS team.

[EdReform]

Bump & Ping

Read later...

Choice4Truth

[StarCMC]

Nope. Nothing quite so sinister. Let 'em stay in their monogomous relationships (beacuse of course most of them ARE monogomous) and try as they may, it just won't happen. God (oops -- I know you don't believe in Him, but I do!) didn't create humankind to reproduce naturally in that type of relationship.

[StarCMC]

Nope. Nothing quite so sinister. Let 'em stay in their monogomous relationships (beacuse of course most of them ARE monogomous) and try as they may, it just won't happen. God (oops -- I know you don't believe in Him, but I do!) didn't create humankind to reproduce naturally in that type of relationship.

[StarCMC]

Sorry for the double reply -- fingers are quicker than the brain! LOL!

[Migraine]

hard to imagine anything more subversive than two people of the same sex hugging and kissing and cooking and sleeping together

That's a pretty sanitized version of homo events. How about packin' the fudge and suckin' the duck, and lickety-split? Far as I'm concerned, people can (and will) do what seems right to them; but don't try to involve me in it. And when you try to get the society of which I am a part to grant its seal of approval to it, then you ARE involving me, and I don't like it.

[MineralMan]

"Nope. Nothing quite so sinister. Let 'em stay in their monogomous relationships (beacuse of course most of them ARE monogomous) and try as they may, it just won't happen. God (oops -- I know you don't believe in Him, but I do!) didn't create humankind to reproduce naturally in that type of relationship.
"

"Let 'em stay....?" What? How is it your job to let anyone do anything about their personal relationships. How about "letting" heterosexuals stay in their monogamous relationships. They ain't doing such a good job of it, near as I can tell.

The problem is that you want to control someone else's reproductive life. That's not going to happen, unless you change our Constitution in ways nobody's going to support.

How about leaving folks alone to carry on their private lives as they choose? How about granting others the same respect you want for yourself? How about letting your deity take care of sin instead of taking the job on for yourself?

What you're saying is so far from conservatism that I can't even begin to express it.

You don't get to "let" people do anything regarding their reproduction. It's not your job.

[volchef]

There is a pair of lesbians here in my hometown who have a daughter conceived with a turkey baster (no kidding) and it is absolutely a travesty. They take their daughter to swim lessons at the community pool and I kid you not the birth mother is still breast feeding her at 4 years old. Right there at the pool in front of everyone. Now, say what you will about some gays being loving parents because I'm sure there are some, but this couple is just sick!sick!sick! And now they are openly telling people they are actively trying for number 2 with the other woman getting pregnant this time.

[Steven R. Schick]

MoZac for all packers.

[MineralMan]

". Now, say what you will about some gays being loving parents because I'm sure there are some, but this couple is just sick!sick!sick! "

And you don't know any sick heterosexual parents? I sure do. C'mon, you can't argue from one example. That's the oldest logical fallacy of all.

There are bad and stupid parents of all kinds, heterosexual and homosexual alike. We see their stories here on FR all the time. How about the father who burned his kid's tongue with a fireplace lighter, or the one who made his kid swallow his own vomit? Did you see those stories here on FR? Did you comment on those?