Urban Possum Varmit...Freeper needs advice on how to get rid of possum living under porch.

8/9/03 | self

[Imagine]

I've got a possum living under my porch diggin up stuff during the night. Any suggestions on capturing or killing the critter???

[darth]

Put a stereo under the porch and play loud, heavy metal music 24X7. Works on skunks too.

[anniegetyourgun]

Now that would simply ruin the animal for future use, dontchaknow.

[old school]

Draw an Imaginary line, from the critter's left ear to its right eye; and draw another imaginary line, from its right ear to its left eye. Then, where the two lines intersect, give the critter a lead snack, (.22 calibre long-rifle variety), preferrably at night, at which time time neighbors are unlikely to notice, and call the Cops on you!

[F.J. Mitchell]

Call animal control-your taxes are paying them to do such chores.

[ChewedGum]

Now how do you capture the moths??

Nice!

Gum

[BigWaveBetty]

I'll give you my ex-husband's phone number. He'll track it down and then cook it for dinner.

[Constitution Day]

Wow

Yep. She is tough as nails, I tell you. She also had 16 children.

[jjbrouwer]

That's where I got the earlier Possum Stew recipe from. Having read the recipes, I'm beginning to doubt whether the guy has really eaten one of the things.

[Maceman]

You know you can actually eat the critters once you catch them

"That's the thing about possum innards. They's just as good the second day."

[AntiGuv]

[Mad Dawg]

Get a havahart trap - which keeps the trapped animal alove and healthy.

Then send the living possum to your local PETA headquarters -- or drop him off in their cellar.

[LibKill]

Any Warthog pilots out there. If so, do the A-10s carry napalm?

Not a pilot, but the A-10 has bomb capability.

Napalm is no longer in the inventory.

Yes, I know, it is shocking.

[OldPossum]

I don't think you really want to eat this. When I was young and living with my grandparents (the time when I acquired the nickname "Possum"), my grandfather prevailed upon my grandmother to cook a possum. She did. He never asked for it again. Neither did I.

But who am I to say? Maybe she didn't have the recipe you have.

[BigWaveBetty]

Now how do you capture the moths??

"Werey, wery carfulwey."

[Tuscaloosa Goldfinch]

Works with armadillos, too. :-)

[Overtaxed]

Of course you could always feed him a decent diet for a while and get some good meat on him for eatin'.

[OldPossum]

Yes, I do. I'm always a sucker for the Havahart Trap, particularly if it's baited with wild persimmons. Works everytime.

I urge others not to use suggestions posted on #13 and #14.

OldPossum

[jjbrouwer]

I will usually try anything once - brains, frogs' legs, haggis, you name it. But in this case, I might make an exception.

[F.J. Mitchell]

You left out the most important part of the recipe: Allow to cool to room temperature, throw out the stew, and eat Gramma's kettle.

[wardaddy]

Steel trap or pellet rifle pumped as high as you can muster. Steel traps today have rubber on the jaws so you may end up capturing him or he'll gnaw off his leg and run off unlikely to come back.

It would be more humane to simply shoot him with a well placed shot. Forget poison....mean.

I had coons in my house once and placed a trap in a cupboard they were crawling into. All I found was a foot and some blood one morning. They never came back but I did see a 3 legged coon about.

A good male territorial dog with heart will destroy possums in short order. A cat with heart as well will at least discourage them. My white Tom (almost) has been seen attacking possums and coons on my property.

Squantos is a graduate level sod poodle destroyer so let's ask him.