New Book Reveals How Much Grandparents Matter in Kids' Lives

Agape Press-Christian News Service ^ | 8/04/03 | Allie Martin

[GrandMoM]

....the need for both parents working these days to keep their head above the water, creates a very busy and stress enviorment, I do believe we Grandparents can not only take some of the pressure off the parents, but, more importantly give the children some individual attention.

[bedolido]

My wife and I have 4 kids and 8 great-kids. I can't immagine life without all of them around me.

[At _War_With_Liberals]

Agreed. This is why traditional family structure is so vital to the society.

[GrandMoM]

. I can't immagine life without all of them around me.

....even my 73 year old husband (who never had grandchildren of his own) feels that way when my grandchildren are around. Of course they love him as their very own Papa.

[GrandMoM]

Agreed. This is why traditional family structure is so vital to the society.....sadly, not all parents see a need to include the grandparents in the family structure.

[Loyolas Mattman]

Flat out, I owe everything I am today to my grandfather and my father. Grandparents are a gift...

[monkeywrench]

Amen. I miss mine terribly, and think of them all the time.

[GrandMoM]

Flat out, I owe everything I am today to my grandfather and my father. Grandparents are a gift...

....My mother did not get along with my fathers mother,(the only grandparent I had) so we didn't visit with her to often. It was only after I had my first grandchild that I realized what I had missed.

[RightWingMama]

My granddaughter is the light of my life.

[GrandMoM]

Amen. I miss mine terribly, and think of them all the time. ....well, they left you with something , MEMORIES!!

[eyespysomething]

My in-laws are literally a gift from God. Not only did they show me Jesus, but they are about the best substitute parents I could have, and I know they are the best grandparents my 3 sons could have!! I have always wondered what the talk about awful in-laws was about.

[GrandMoM]

My granddaughter is the light of my life.....all four of mine are. Each of them are sooooo different, but, they all just make my heart swell!!!!!!!

[Huck]

This rings true to me. My story in a nutshell: My parents were neglectful. They also had economic problems. A few times I was sent from our home in the northeast to the Deep South to live with my Grandma. Once when 6, again when 10 and then again when 12. I don't want to knock my parents. But it is just a fact that the best lessons I learned came from my Grandma. She was TOUGH. But the key lessons I remember I learned from her. About saving money. About being a man. About not complaining. About getting on in the world. All her training was practical training. She packed a lot of value into our time together, because she knew how desperately I needed it. Grandma was laid to rest two years ago in Meridian, Mississippi. I miss her and I think about her a lot. I hope she's proud of me.

[Dr. Frank fan]

....the need for both parents working these days to keep their head above the water, creates a very busy and stress enviorment, I do believe we Grandparents can not only take some of the pressure off the parents, but, more importantly give the children some individual attention.

You are so right.

What I am noticing is that there is huge irony here. One reason (not the only one) that the parents are both off working is that they have to pay for a "Social Security" system which provides pensions for grandparents to live alone (at least, in little apartments/condos in old folks' homes etc). Without "Social Security" those grandparents would, in many cases, have moved in with the children and grandchildren, which is what happens far more often in other places and which is also quite common among recent e.g. Asian immigrants (I have noticed).

In short: Kids need grandparents around in part because their parents are gone for so long. But their parents are gone for so long partially to support a system one of whose effects is to keep the grandparents away.

Who loses: everybody. (Except for politicians who get votes out of the whole deal by keeping old people dependent on their promises/demagoguery.)

[Huck]

I didn't mention Grandpa because they were split up, and he died while I was still young. My dad died when I was 16. That's how come I got most of my best training from Grandma. She did a great job.

[lonestar]

My maternal grandmother died before I was born. I know it sounds stupid, but I've always considered it among the top losses of my life. A lot of what I've had, I would give up to have known her.

[twigs]

A teacher I knew speculated recently that she attributes one reason for young children's growing lack of respect to everyone around them as no longer having access to grandparents like they once did. She said, and I agree, that you might talk back to parents, but you think twice about doing it to grandma and grandpa. The learning restraint with them helps carry over to other relationships... eventually.

[jwalsh07]

I miss her and I think about her a lot. I hope she's proud of me.

I'm sure she is Huck. From what I have learned about you here at FR, you are a fine man.

It is my fervent wish that my 5 Grandkids speak of me as you speak of your Grandma. That in itself would give meaning to my life.

[lepton]

....the need for both parents working these days to keep their head above the water, creates a very busy and stress enviorment, I do believe we Grandparents can not only take some of the pressure off the parents, but, more importantly give the children some individual attention.

...but not against the wishes of the parents.

[GrandMoM]

!! I have always wondered what the talk about awful in-laws was about.....well, living in a retirement community, I see parents butting in their childrens lifestyles when they should butt out. We have all made mistakes, some where we learned our greatest lessons.

Of course I also see many children running to mom and dad with their hands out for money when ever they need or want something.

....both of these situations can ruin relationships.