Butting in on fashion: Gen-X sinks to new lows

Houston Chronicle ^ | August 3, 2003 | MICHELLE MALKIN

[Dog Gone]

How low can we go? I am talking, of course, about today's waistbands.

If you thought the belly-baring thing was bad enough, take a good look at the sartorial depths to which fashion has now sunk. The Los Angeles Times last week declared it "the summer of the pelvic bone." Last year's already obscene low-riders have gone the way of high-water polyester pants.

Today's hip-huggers have almost nothing but hope to hang onto anymore. The "normal" inseam-to-waist rise of 8 to 9 inches is shrinking faster than Britney Spears' record sales. To wit, Levi's has introduced a new line of jeans called "Too Superlow" for women. Upping the ante, or should I say lowering it, the teenage-girl brand Gasoline markets "Down2There" -- adjustable low-rise jeans with a built-in bungee cord designed to help the wearer drop her pants to even nastier nadirs.

Canadian teen singer Avril Lavigne's perilously sagging pants are a global youth phenomenon. "My butt crack showing is like my trademark," she gracefully explained to a music reporter. Salon.com writer Janelle Brown approves: "(T)he butt crack is the new cleavage, reclaimed to peek seductively from the pants of supermodels and commoners alike."

The late Sen. and social critic Daniel Patrick Moynihan's famous phrase "Defining deviancy down" has taken on a whole new meaning.

Grown-ups, be forewarned: Avril's fashion nonsense is seeping into other markets. Levi's recently launched a "Dangerously Low" line for men. Another of its low-rise men's lines is dubbed, appropriately enough, "Offender." Actor Brad Pitt has popularized the Diesel brand low-risers. Toronto-based writer Jim Oldfield says the trend has overwhelmed mainstream men's stores and orders are already piling up for the fall. One Canadian merchant helpfully advised Oldfield that hip men are wearing the jeans commando-style.

In other words: "Underwear is, like, not required."

Even expectant women can't escape these drooping duds. Popular young actress and mom-to-be Kate Hudson has been photographed parading around in low-rise cargo pants and toddler-sized crop tops to show off her growing belly. At a recent trip to my neighborhood mall's maternity store, the only jeans in my size were ridiculous low-risers with flared bottoms that needed hiking every time I exhaled.

Trust me: This nouveau plumber's crack chic does not look any better on the overweight guy crouching under your kitchen sink than it does on a six-months-pregnant lady trying to bend over to pick up her toddler without mooning the world.

What will it take to convince the current cohort of exhibitionistas that sleaze is not sexy -- that less is not always more, that low is low-class? If Generation X-rated can't be persuaded to cover up out of moral necessity, perhaps they will listen to medical authority. A warning about the health hazards of low-rise pants was published in the Canadian Medical Association six months ago. According to Dr. Malvinder Parmar, a painful condition called "meralgia paresthetica" is causing wearers of hip-huggers to experience "tingling or a burning sensation" in the thighs.

Dr. Parmar's treatment: four to six weeks in -- the horror! -- loose-fitting dresses. Must have been worse than swallowing cod liver oil.

Avril and Britney and Brad need to show their fans that a little extra fabric is not a death sentence. The late Kate Hepburn melted hearts while fully clothed in turtlenecks and roomy, belted trousers. She was a "hottie" who showed us her cheekbones, and left the rest where it should be left: to the imagination.

Alas, modesty has been long out of vogue. But it's a fashion rule of thumb that what's out eventually becomes in. The day when "clothed is the new naked" can't come soon enough.

Malkin is a nationally syndicated columnist based in North Bethesda, Md. malkin@comcast.net

[qam1]

Don't forget the senior prescription healthcare benefit they wanted so bad.

Of course, Anything that benefits them and they don't have to pay for they are all for.

[ladyinred]

"My butt crack showing is like my trademark," she gracefully explained to a music reporter.

Now that is a crackup!

[Fraulein]

One of the things I like about Eminem (I just came from an Eminem thread) is that he so well exposes the anger that many people of our generation rightfully have towards selfish "me first" boomer parents -- and most all boomers in general -- who have utterly failed us in so many ways. No surprise he's been called "the voice of a generation."

[Palladin]

Go get'em, kids. They are the most self-serving generation ever to live in America.

I know...I'm the parent of eight Boomers.

My grandchildren, on the other hand, are kind, generous, compassionate, loving, gorgeous, and perfect.

[brianl703]

I remember when cable came in, there were 36 channels.

I remember 8-tracks and Beta VCRs. I remember rotary-dial phones (stamped "Bell System Property, Not For Sale")and Atari 2600s.

I'd venture to guess that the first Gen-Y'rs probably would recall none of that (except maybe the Atari 2600, and then only because they were in production until 1989)

[luckystarmom]

I was born in 1962. Please, please, please, don't call me a generation-Xer. I always thought I was a baby - baby boomer.

[jwh_Denver]

A warning about the health hazards of low-rise pants was published in the Canadian Medical Association six months ago. According to Dr. Malvinder Parmar, a painful condition called "meralgia paresthetica" is causing wearers of hip-huggers to experience "tingling or a burning sensation" in the thighs.

Oh don't worry, this study will put an end to all this "cracking".

[Fraulein]

Selfish, narcissistic, superficial, and self-indulgent. Often they have been neglectful parents, lacking any sense of responsibility, never growing up, and not really knowing how to be parents, because whatever their children really needed, emotionally and otherwise, they only knew how to demand for themselves, and hence were unable to give to anyone else. They foisted upon us divorce, latch keys, and all the rest of it. Ironically, as they get older, however, just watch how they are going to try to appeal to all the ole' virtues that they themselves have systematically undone -- family, responsibility, tradition -- as they make their plea (or else demand) for us all to take care of them. They are going to demand from us that which they have never given.

[Clemenza]

This low rise culture, like so many fads these days, is imported from Latin America rather than Britain

I don't know where you've been in Latin America, but women in Panama, Costa Rica and most of Mexico don't wear "low riders." What fads do you see coming from Latin America? I don't see too many kids dancing salsa or eating Arroz con pollo.

Fads from England? Yeah like bad teeth, annoying accents and ugly women. Although I do like the beer and much of the music.

[Clemenza]

I was born in 1976 and consider myself a Gen Xer. I HATE rap, my first movie was star wars and the first game I played was Pac Man in the arcade. There is a BIG difference, I have noticed, between myself and those just two years younger than me.

[Spyder]

Goodness, gracious! I hope that's not your Granny.

Nope - something I got in an e-mail from a friend in Iowa. Had to "share the joy."

[FreedomCalls]

[qam1]

So much for not getting you started.

Excellent.

Though you forgot their worst trait. Elitism.

They all think they are God's gift to humanity and they have wisdom that no other generation before or after them will ever have and us unfortunates without their vast knowledge should all bow down to them. Their self importance knows no bounds, Remember back in 1996 when all the headlines read Baby Boomers turn 50 like it was some great national important milstone like the anniversary of VE or VJ Day or something. Then again with all the failures of that generation turning 50 probably was their greatest acomplishment.

Yes, When they all start retiring and Gen-X starts to take over their positions in power (governmental and other wise) things are going to get interesting.

[FreedomCalls]

[luckystarmom]

I don't really relate to the Bill Clinton era or to your era.

I was born in 1962. The preppy look was popular when I was in high school and college. Michael Keaton (Michael J Fox)of Family Ties was popular. The now 40 year olds are a pretty normal group. We don't have a lot of respect for the hippy-generation. The women are the ones that are quitting our jobs and staying home with our kids. We don't think that working is the best thing for our kids.

[Fraulein]

I'm the parent of eight Boomers.

Yours was truly a great generation. How you spawned the boomers is beyond me.

When I was growing up, I would thank god everyday that I had my grandparents!

Of course, others of my generation were actually raised by their grandparents, since, after all, their boomer parents couldn't be bothered with their own kids and 'had their own lives to lead.'

[Donna Rumsfeld]

The national debt is terrible and the baby boomers are still going to want their social security. Our taxes are going to be so high when they retire.
About the jeans, I like wearing the low-rise jeans because they are more comfortable. For women who are short waisted these are great. Also, you must have a small waist to look good in them. I tried on the super-low and there was just too much of the good stuff showing.

[usadave]

In other words: "Underwear is, like, not required."

The word "like" in the sentence above is not required either.

[Fraulein]

Yes, elitists, and also, of course, hypocrites.

Then again with all the failures of that generation...

However, most of them will never acknowledge or admit to any of these failures.

When they all start retiring and Gen-X starts to take over their positions in power (governmental and other wise) things are going to get interesting.

I certainly hope so.

[qam1]

About the jeans, I like wearing the low-rise jeans because they are more comfortable. For women who are short waisted these are great. Also, you must have a small waist to look good in them. I tried on the super-low and there was just too much of the good stuff showing.

Don't worry about the jeans, Every generation doesn't like what the next generation wears. The only difference is this time around it's the selfish, whiney baby boomers which goes back to what I was saying about the health/saftey Nazi thing above, Now that the baby boomers are too old to look anything but ridiculous in the new styles they must condem it. I am surprised they aren't pushing for laws, Though I am sure after they are done with fast food that will be coming soon