Posted on 07/31/2003 5:11:32 AM PDT by TastyManatees
(A gentle warning, this is a humble attempt at satire.)
My uninformed guess is that supporters of "smart growth" and other environmentalists wouldn't be so enthusiastic if the end result of their activism was that their neighborhoods would not be kept free of lower-income residents. I know that I'm tired of seeing the Endangered Species Act abused to limit development of affordable housing for lower-middle class people by rich do-gooders. It always seems that when the neighboring platt is zoned for single family homes some endangered toad or bird becomes Priority Number One. The end result of this is that lower-middle class people are stuck in crummy neighborhoods for years while upper class liberals tie up development with "Habitat Conservation Plans" or "Smart Growth Initiatives". This is a tragic misuse of government that almost borders on racism. There has to be another way to protect endangered species without making the least fortunate among us pay the price.
This is why I propose the "Managing Orderly Vectors for the Environment" Initiative, or the MOVE Initiative. The MOVE Initiative would entail homeowners in areas more than 5 miles from the center of any urban area they live in to move to within a "Getting Homeowners Everywhere To Take Orders" area, or GHETTO. These GHETTOs would be located within 5 miles of city centers, would consist of multi-family homes in vertical structures, and would be near all the essentials for urban living, like retail checking outlets, spirits retailers, and urban camping facilities. GHETTOs would along be laid out with an eye towards short public bus commutes, obviating the need for polluting automobiles (cars could be accepted from ex-homeowners as a mandatory-voluntary donation). The houses left behind would also be voluntarily donated to the MOVE fund, to be demolished for the protection of endangered species. Suburban sprawl would be returned to habitat for animals and plants, while ex-residents became more familiar with their new neighbors.
The best part is that main costs of species preservation would be paid by those most able to pay them. The lower-income residents may lose the ability to live in the suburbs, but they are actually no worse off than when the Move Initiative is put into place.
Of course, it will take years for this program to be implemented, due to obvious limitations in current legal structures, but the program could get a healthy start by providing incentives to volunteers who sign up early, such as a "First-Pick Lottery" program, where early participants get to join a lottery with the grand prize being the ability to choose their new accommodations. This early momentum, combined with a publicity campaign emphasizing that the MOVE initiative will succeed over any opposition, would ensure that Big Homeowners would eventually end their squatting on valuable species habitat and move to the GHETTOs. Forward to the future, Comrades!
ROFLMAO
Rights, farms, environment ping.
Let me know if you wish to be added or removed from this list.
Yew bedder kwit eatin them there Seaweed Heifers!!! (grinning an thinkin 'bout mermaids)
If you don't know what they look like, imagine Roseanne Barr or Nany Pelosi without any clothes.
Wull... Happy New Year ta yoo, too!!!
I'm imaginin Roseanne wither big flippers, but Pillyosi wouldn't dare sun herself or she'd bust outa that stretched thin skin of hers like a tomata right after a drenching rain!!!
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, Oh whata relief it is! (lilting melody)
Then she could star in Steve Peace's "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!" (maybe that's why she's supporting Davis)
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