Morford: Skanky Hot Strippers Of Love

SF Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, July 30, 2003 | Mark Morford, 35 Year-Old Bachelor Party Virgin

[presidio9]

Oh yes, there will be strippers. There will be skankiness. There might very well be illegal substances some of which are totally organic to the natural macrobiotic world and some of which most definitely are not and all of which make John Ashcroft scowl and pule and seethe with quiet jealousy.

[presidio9]

There's something to look forward to in a bachelor party: Wearing a feather boa. Morford is gayer than a leather pinata.

[martin_fierro]

This twink is about as deep as a postage stamp.

[mountaineer]

This moron can't write two sentences without going off on John Ashcroft or George Bush. It is a powerful yet perverse sexual attraction Missy Morford seems to have for certain government officials.

[End Times Sentinel]

And gambling and yelling and laughter and guys sharing hotel beds to save money...

 

LOL!  "Okay, we're sharing the bed to save money, but why are you nude?"

 

Owl_Eagle

”Unleash the Hogs of Peace.”
P.J. O'Rourke Parliament of Whores

[Paul Atreides]

Whose husband is he blackmailing to keep his job?

[Mr. Bird]

Maybe underneath it all will be something a bit more intricate and culturally mandatory and spiritually essential, something having to do with the notion that man moves through stages and depths and levels of self and divinity and awareness and ultimately might just find himself in the arms of a superlative woman, maybe, and that makes it all somehow whole, and right, and luminous, and complete.

Ain't no guy writing this....

[finnman69]

This is my first full-fledged hardcore bachelor-party adventure, and I'm part of a group consisting of more than 15 other guys, and it will all go down in Reno and the e-mails are flying and revealing and somewhat hilarious as the Single Guys vie with the Married Guys vie with the Crazy Guys as to budgets and activities and who wants to chip in for a powerboat versus the "entertainment" versus the limo versus those whose wives clearly instructed them not to do anything dangerous or illegal or naked or else.

What about the flaming gay guys....what's your angle Mark?

[FierceDraka]

This reminds me of the recent comedy "Old School". Will anyone in a lion costume try to jump through a ring of fire, only to miss and start an inferno? LOL

[johniegrad]

His depth of soul leads him to extol the spirituality of a bachelor party.

[Fzob]

Bachelor parties are a bizarre and unique tradition. Women have an entire array of rites, bachelorette parties and bridal showers and baby showers and Tupperware parties and Mary Kay brainwashings and oh-my-God-look-at-these-super- cute-shoes-I-got-on-sale showers and few indeed are the men who can tell any of them apart, really, except one features some nice finger sandwiches and Baby Gap swag and at the other everyone gives vibrators and bad lingerie. Or something.

Very interesting. It seem Ms. Mordford knows more about bachelorette parties than bachelor parties. Why am I not surprised.

[NeoCaveman]

Miss Morford at a bachelor party, just damn.

[BenR2]

But we are not frat boys. We are not wide-eyed post-pubescent beer-bongin' twentysomethings seeking alphabet belching and cheap hookers and snide homophobia and head butting and bad drugs like some sort of blank-faced future president during his Yale years. Not all of us, anyway.

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I stopped reading after this line. The author is clearly an idiot.

[DeFault User]

Oh yes, there will be strippers. There will be skankiness. There might very well be illegal substances some of which are totally organic to the natural macrobiotic world and some of which most definitely are not and all of which make John Ashcroft scowl and pule and seethe with quiet jealousy. There will most definitely be booze. And cigars. And gambling and yelling and laughter and guys sharing hotel beds to save money, and there will be music and drunkenness and all-night whoknowswhat and massive hangovers that require Bloody Marys all around, the next day, almost certainly.

I thought he was drooling in anticipation of the next Democrat Party Convention.

[Arpege92]

LOL

[CaptainK]

All strippers:

1)Are someone's daughter
2)Are drugged up - you have to be to do what they do.
3)Hate every man in the room.

But don't let that stop you from enjoying yourself.

[Paul Atreides]

Skanky Hot Strippers Of Love

Only a poof could come up with a line like that.

[RichInOC]

Reno? Markie, you guys are pikers. Real men know that if you're going to Nevada for your bachelor party, there's only one place to go...Vegas, baby!

And just so you know...it's considered bad bachelor-party form to kill the donkey. If the donkey's dead when you're finished with him, you've done something horribly wrong.