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No Dice For Dems (Multimedia Video Rant By Dennis Miller On Hannity & Colmes)
Fox News ^
| 7/12/03
| Dennis Miller
Posted on 07/12/2003 12:20:40 PM PDT by Recovering_Democrat
Dennis Miller explains why Democrats have no chance in 2004 election...
"Hey, get this...I thought we'd talk about the nine Democrats running for the Presidency...I wanna get this commentary in now before this 'uber nuchtet' quickly goes the way of the Tucker.
You know, the good thing about an empty headed scrum is that nobody can actually suffer brain damage if they get kicked in the melon. And trust me, when these guys get together it's like a Pez dispenser seance.
Al Sharpton's ramblings have now taken him so far afield somebody better install on ONSTAR button in the middle of his forehead.
Dennis Kucinich? Hey, even a stopped brain is right twice a day.
I don't even know who Carol Mosley-Braun is, but after seeing her on TV, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know either.
You know, it was pre-destined that John Kerry would run for the presidency since his features are so chiseled, you could his actual skull on Mount Rushmore. Ya know, Kerry is an Easter Island statue in a power tie.
And John Edwards is just a poorly drawn John Grisham character.
Joe Lieberman? Well, I never thought you'd hear this comin' out of my piehole, but: He's no Gore!
They say that Bob Graham keeps an amazingly detailed journal of his day-to-day life. That's gotta make a Maytag product manual read like Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
Now Dick Gephardt's recent Al Haig-like overreach where he said that as President he would start countermanding Supreme Court decrees--it's important, because it encapsulates the fatal flaw of eight of the nine in this once-in-a-lifetime assemblage of blather.
When it's time to be a tough guy, they don't really know how...so they lurch into a clumsy approximation of Bogart that ends up ringing mondo hollow!
And that brings us to Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont who would like nothing better than to mallet a maple syrup tap into the U.S. Treasury and spot-weld the valve wide open! Dean can roll up his sleeves in public all he wants, but as long as that heart tattoo with Neville Chamberlain's name in it is visible on his right forearm, he's never gonna get off the pad!
Please, please nominate Howard Dean! 'Cause he'll get his ass handed to him quicker than somebody who just got outpatient liposuction surgery!
Well, that's the view from the kid's table. Tune in and watch their next debate...the Dems say it's a 'big tent' and you'll be surprised to see how many clowns they can fit into that one little car!
Got that? I'm Dennis Miller.
TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 2004; dean; dennismiller; edwards; fox; gephardt; graham; kerry; kucinich; lieberman; miller; mosleybraun; sharpton
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A good read, but a great video! The link is on the right hand side, and you need a video player on your computer.
Any misspellings or misinterpretations are my own...I just did a quick transcribe.
rd
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2
posted on
07/12/2003 12:22:02 PM PDT
by
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator
To: Recovering_Democrat
Although I've never been a huge Miller fan, I loved his comment on the 1984 election (this was back before Miller was a conservative): (paraphrasing) "What an *ss-kicking that was -- when I went to bed, Reagan had 500 electoral votes, Mondale had 3. I wasn't even running, and I almost tied him."
To: Recovering_Democrat
Ya know, Kerry is an Easter Island statue in a power tie. That one had me rolling!
5
posted on
07/12/2003 12:43:38 PM PDT
by
StriperSniper
(Frogs are for gigging)
To: Recovering_Democrat
Please, please nominate Howard Dean! 'Cause he'll get his ass handed to him quicker than somebody who just got outpatient liposuction surgery! Love it!!
6
posted on
07/12/2003 1:00:27 PM PDT
by
alnick
(Kakkate Koi!)
To: StriperSniper
Democrat presidential candidates getting ready for yet another debate.
John French Kerry, rumored to have served in Vietnam, is second from the right.
To: paul in cape
Why the long face?
8
posted on
07/12/2003 2:14:15 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Googolplex Star Thinker of the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity)
To: Recovering_Democrat
I have a recording of Miller ripping the Republicans, calling them "fascists" amongst other things. I have to wonder if he has had a real change of heart or if he is just sensing which way the wind is blowing.
To: Recovering_Democrat
once-in-a-lifetime assemblage of blather.LOL
10
posted on
07/12/2003 3:12:05 PM PDT
by
DannyTN
(Note left on my door by a pack of neighborhood dogs.)
To: Recovering_Democrat
Can somebody tell me why Dick Morris and Dennis Miller switched cruise ships?
I'm liking what they are both saying currently. But if the wind changes again? I just don't trust either.
11
posted on
07/12/2003 3:19:23 PM PDT
by
AGreatPer
(Current odds on Hillary running in 04.......3-1)
To: Recovering_Democrat
Awesome! Thanks for the transcription!
The man's a legend.
Nobody does it like Dennis Miller, no other comedian even comes close in making politics funny except for Normann Liebmann and he's way underground.
You Rule!!!
12
posted on
07/12/2003 3:26:41 PM PDT
by
666beast
To: AGreatPer
Can you say money? The republicans will be in power for at least the next 5 years and there is more money playing to those in power.
Now if you want to see the real money, just wait to see how much repubs will donate to defeat hitlery.
Hopefully some would fight with their blood to keep her and her brand of slime from destroying America.
To: Joe Boucher
Good answer Joe, MONEY.
"Now if you want to see the real money, just wait to see how much repubs will donate to defeat hitlery"
But we do have a problem in 08, even if we out $ them. It is who to run. Another Bush won't cut it. This is an anti-campaign in itself. Rice won't do it. Ridge will be over the hill. Name one? It is damn scarry against the HildaBeast.
My early, early prediction: In a second term you watch this guy Rick Santorum come out of PA into some very important post. He is the future, right now of the Republican party. Why do you think he has made waves, on purpose, in the last few months. National recognition. It is starting.
14
posted on
07/12/2003 6:37:47 PM PDT
by
AGreatPer
(Current odds on Hillary running in 04.......8-1)
To: AGreatPer
My early, early prediction: In a second term you watch this guy Rick Santorum come out of PA into some very important post. He is the future, right now of the Republican party. Why do you think he has made waves, on purpose, in the last few months. National recognition. It is starting. I agree. Santorum has "it". Not necessarily presidential material, but other Republicans to watch for national recognition: Another possible national namemaker will be Jeb Bush, especially as this War on Terror starts showing even more Victories...Roy Blunt of Missouri is another good Republican to watch, too. I think he's majority whip right now. And JD Hayworth from Arizona: great guy...he's going UP.
15
posted on
07/12/2003 7:23:35 PM PDT
by
Recovering_Democrat
(I'm so glad to no longer be associated with the Party of Dependence on Government!)
To: Straight Vermonter
I have a recording of Miller ripping the Republicans, calling them "fascists" amongst other things. I have to wonder if he has had a real change of heart or if he is just sensing which way the wind is blowing.Spot on, my friend! How soon we forget!
16
posted on
07/12/2003 7:47:06 PM PDT
by
BradyLS
To: AGreatPer
I'm liking what they are both saying currently. But if the wind changes again? I just don't trust either.You're not alone!
17
posted on
07/12/2003 7:48:54 PM PDT
by
BradyLS
To: Joe Boucher
Now if you want to see the real money, just wait to see how much repubs will donate to defeat hitlery.Plenty insisted that Hitlery would never become Senator. That Bush th Elder was a shoo-in for a second term.
Nothing in politics is certain!
18
posted on
07/12/2003 7:50:51 PM PDT
by
BradyLS
To: paul in cape; StriperSniper
Separated at birth?
19
posted on
07/12/2003 7:52:13 PM PDT
by
AnAmericanMother
(. . . there is nothing new under the sun.)
To: Recovering_Democrat
"Roy Blunt of Missouri is another good Republican to watch,"Agreed, 100%. Personally, I have not paid much attention to him but will do so in the future.
20
posted on
07/12/2003 7:58:32 PM PDT
by
AGreatPer
(Current odds on Hillary running in 04......212-1)
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