Sausage Attack Overshadows Brewers' Win

Absolutely. But things can be stupid, not criminal or stupid and criminal. Drunk driving is one of the latter. Whacking a sausage mascot with a Louisville Slugger, I think, is the former.

41 posted on 07/10/2003 1:40:27 PM PDT by Mr. Bird

Absolutely. But things can be stupid, not criminal or stupid and criminal. Drunk driving is one of the latter. Whacking a sausage mascot with a Louisville Slugger, I think, is the former.

Intentionally hacking someone with a Louisville Slugger is assault. Perhaps you would think so if someone shacked you up side the head with one.

42 posted on 07/10/2003 2:11:46 PM PDT by cinFLA

I don't know, but ESPN did point out that he entered the game later as an illegal pinch hitter, seeing as how he had already batted once.

He never finished his first at bat. One swing and a ground foul. He still had two more strikes to go.

43 posted on 07/10/2003 2:13:53 PM PDT by cinFLA

Absolutely. But things can be stupid, not criminal or stupid and criminal. Drunk driving is one of the latter. Whacking a sausage mascot with a Louisville Slugger, I think, is the former.

May I take a free swing at your head?

44 posted on 07/10/2003 2:15:04 PM PDT by cinFLA

Ryan Borghoff, portraying the bratwurst, said Simon "just hit the costume and she fell over."

"These things are so top-heavy that it doesn't take much," he said.

With the Italian sausage and hot dog down and out, Borghoff went on to win the race.

"Somebody had to, I guess," he said.

Sports writers live for the day they can write something like this. "Portraying the bratwurst." LOL!!! It just doesn't get any better than that.

45 posted on 07/10/2003 2:18:27 PM PDT by r9etb

I've been eating Johnsonville Brats since they were only available in few places outside Sheboygan & Falls...

46 posted on 07/10/2003 2:21:06 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Tag line produced using 100% post-consumer recycled ethernet packets,)

Smacking somebody in the back with a bat when they aren't looking isn't "antics" it's stupid. Maybe if he'd have gone from the front where she could see it coming, but in the back is just dumb.

47 posted on 07/10/2003 2:22:08 PM PDT by discostu (you've got to bleed for the dancer)

48 posted on 07/10/2003 2:23:18 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Tag line produced using 100% post-consumer recycled ethernet packets,)

I'll be frank, I don't give a wham.

BAWHHHHHH ;8^O

49 posted on 07/10/2003 2:28:09 PM PDT by husky ed (FOX NEWS ALERT "Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead" THIS HAS BEEN A FOX NEWS ALERT)

To: CrystalClear

Beat your own sausage and leave other people's sausages alone!

There's no bologna-bopping in baseball!

50 posted on 07/10/2003 2:46:21 PM PDT by Charles Martel

Anyone in Milwaukee just leaving work now, listen to 102.1 on your drive home. They have live coverage of the Randall Simon pinata whacking going on right now.

51 posted on 07/10/2003 2:49:26 PM PDT by July 4th

Smacking somebody in the back with a bat when they aren't looking isn't "antics" it's stupid. Maybe if he'd have gone from the front where she could see it coming, but in the back is just dumb.

Watch the video, this is being way overblown. See the video, it was just a typical prank, no different than a shove. The bat was not swung hard, hits at the top of the head of the mascot, probably a good 2 feet above the actual head of the person inside. The area hit was filled with foam stuffing, nothing more, so it is no different than if he had tripped the mascot.

Maybe not the greatest idea for a prank, but the person in the mascot only ended up with a skinned knee. Worthy of an apology, new bottle of peroxide, a box of bandages, and perhaps some autographed memorabilia from the teams. You'd think anyone signing up to be a mascot wearing a stupid giant foam costume at a ballgame where beer is served wouldn't be shocked at being pranked, it kinda goes with the territory. How many times has the Philly mascot gotten into impromptu tussles with other mascots and players? I couldn't believe the idiot women at work today going on and on about horrible this was(though none had seen the actual video), enough to make one become a sexist!

Anyway, here's the ESPN 'investigation' that Akira linked to. They got it in the right perspective.


	Police report: Sausagegate Page 2 staff

Remember this: Randall Simon is innocent until proven guilty. Page 2 has received a copy of the complete police report from the incident, so read through the evidence before you declare Simon be sent to jail.

Date: July 9, 2003

The crime: Alleged misdemeanor battery (assault on a sausage with a baseball bat)


	In happier days: This file photo from the 2002 All-Star Game shows the sausage race in its purest form.

The victim: Italian Sausage

The alleged perpetrator: Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon

Scene of the crime: Third-base side of Miller Park, Milwaukee, Wis.

Witnesses: Polish Sausage, Bratwurst, Hot Dog, 25 Pittsburgh Pirates, 25 Milwaukee Brewers and at least 50 people in the stands.

The incident: As the four sausages were coming toward the finish line during their traditional race after the sixth inning, Simon allegedly whacked Italian Sausage over the head with a wood bat (presumably uncorked), causing the meat of the savory Italian variety to fall to the ground and also trip up the Hot Dog in the process. The Polish and the Brat somehow managed to escape harm.

The Italian Sausage was treated at the scene for scraped knees (sausages have knees?), and was last seen diving into a cab with a towel over its head and rushing to a local hospital with three members of its entourage. The Hot Dog also suffered scraped outer casing. The Bratwurst won the race and refused to cooperate with investigators on the scene. Baseball commissioner Bud Selig declared the race "a tie" -- as is tradition for all controversial events at Miller Park.

One TV reporter claimed he had known the Italian Sausage since he "came into baseball as just a small link" and that it would be totally "out of character" for the sausage to provoke anyone.

Physical evidence: Raw meat remnants along the third-base line indicate that a fall took place. Ketchup stains were spotted as far away as the second deck. Simon's bat (taken into custody) smelled like a Fourth of July barbeque.

One witness said the entire incident was a blur, but that it appeared the Italian Sausage was attacked by either a large blob of mustard or a large banana. Investigators noted that Simon was wearing the Pirates' all-yellow throwback uniform from head to toe.


	Photo evidence of Randall Simon: note the distinctive all-yellow jerseys.

Simon's alibi: Official baseball statistics show Simon has not had a hit in the month of July, so the chances of the .272-hitter being able to nail a speeding sausage are very slim. Also, Simon claims to be a vegetarian and says he would never "harm a sausage or any other meat product."

Simon also claimed the sausage was "going down anyway" and said "it's impossible to run with a head that big because it makes you top heavy." He also claimed that he never actually made contact with the sausage's head because "that freakin' chef hat is a foot and a half tall."

Possible motive(s): Witnesses near the Pirates dugout claim they heard Simon declare that he felt the Italian Sausage was "a real brat." One anonymous teammate claimed Simon had "bet Wednesday's meal money" on the race and made a panicked attempt to try to fix the race at the last minute.

Character assessment: It should also be noted that Simon is a notorious free-swinger who hacks at just about anything. Weighing in at 242 pounds for his booking, the 6-foot Simon also doesn't appear to be a man who is truly abstaining from meat.

The suspect entered the interview room with mustard smudges on his shirt and a glob of relish on his bottom lip. Interrogating officers, shocked by his casual disregard for the gravity of the situation, and troubled by his cruel, steely gaze, wiped his face clean and pushed him into a chair. The suspect responded only with a belch and a sick, satisfied chuckle.


	Exclusive crime scene photo! Here is what remains of the sausage racer.

Possible accomplice: After the hot dog tripped over the fallen Italian Sausage, the Polish Sausage turned to help its injured racers The Bratwurst, however, kept on going and crossed the finish line in first place. After the race, the Brat claimed innocence. "Somebody had to (win), I guess," it said. However, the Brat does trail the season race standings.

Possible conspirator: Last September, officials from PETA faxed the Brewers asking that the Veggie Dog (aka "Soysage") be added to the sausage race. "If given a sporting chance, our lean, mean veggie dog might run rings around those fatty 'brats' in the sausage race," PETA's Dan Shannon said at the time. "The Veggie Dog would be a big hit, especially with hip, young baseball fans." The request was turned down by the Brewers, however.

Considering PETA's history of violent protest, we advise an interview with Mr. Shannon and place a trace on phone calls from Mr. Shannon's office or house to the Pirates' clubhouse.

ALSO SEE:

'Sausage beater' Simon booked for battery

Your Turn: Sports Arrests

Vote: Sausagegate scandal!

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52 posted on 07/10/2003 2:52:50 PM PDT by Diddle E. Squat

To: Diddle E. Squat

I watched the video, he hit her from behind. That's lame and stupid and he deserves all that's coming to him from it. She had no idea it was coming, he had no idea who was in the costume and what part of the body he'd be hitting and what kind of damage it might do.

The bat was swung hard enough to knock her over. The guy is a class-A dipstick. This isn't just some prank it's an act or raw inspipid stupidity. Tripping her would be any better. What happens if the kid falls down the dugout stairs and breaks something? The guy was a moron and he should have known beter.

I'm all for fun and games with mascotts, but you've got to use your head. Know who's in the suit, understand that they have very limited visibility and maneuverability, and don't do anything that might injure them, ESPECIALLY don't do anything that might injure them and they don't know it's coming.

53 posted on 07/10/2003 3:00:31 PM PDT by discostu (you've got to bleed for the dancer)

Just more proof that you can take the punk off the street corner,
but....

I'm getting extremely tired of these "professionals" acting like spoiled children.
I could live without seeing another "professional" baseball, football, or basketball game.
Ever.

54 posted on 07/10/2003 3:08:36 PM PDT by dogbrain

he had no idea who was in the costume and what part of the body he'd be hitting and what kind of damage it might do.

How does one normally swing a bat? Level, but his swing was way high, very unusual and thus very intentional. I think he was quite confident she/he/it inside was not 8+ feet tall, which she/he/it would have needed to have been for the bat to connect with any body part(after coming through all that foam). This wasn't a blow to the head or torso, but a blow to a foam hat, and the swing was slow.

Like I said, it wasn't the brightest of pranks, but it is being way overblown.

55 posted on 07/10/2003 3:08:57 PM PDT by Diddle E. Squat

I like that! Weinied more.

56 posted on 07/10/2003 3:09:42 PM PDT by gcruse (There is no such thing as society: there are individual men and women[.] --Margaret Thatcher)

The victim was Chef Boyardee/Super Mario on the left. Note the dimensions, the top of the head of the person inside would be at the bottom of the nose of the costume, even if it were John Kerry or Julia Roberts in there. The bat was intentially swung to hit in the hat portion, thus no body part was close to being hit. Knocking a mascot to the ground in a prank may be a bit mean, but it isn't criminal assault or other hyperbole.

57 posted on 07/10/2003 3:13:02 PM PDT by Diddle E. Squat

Sports writers live for the day they can write something like this. "Portraying the bratwurst." LOL!!! It just doesn't get any better than that.

Agreed!!! I never thought I'd read the following line in a true news story, but there it was on espn.com:

"As they jogged by, Simon swatted the Italian sausage, who went down in a heap. The giant hot dog stumbled over the sausage and also tumbled to the ground."

58 posted on 07/10/2003 3:14:18 PM PDT by Akira

To: Diddle E. Squat

I didn't saw it wasn't intentional, I said it was STUPID. So he tried not to hit the person inside, BFD, so he got lucky and succeeded, BFD. It was still amazingly stupid and he should have known better.

Not even close to being blown out of proportion. Somebody does something this stupid it should be the talk of his sport for the next day. If we're still yacking about it monday then it's blown out of proportion. 24 to 48 hours of shame and ridicule is right in line with it. He should feel like a moron because he acted like a moron.

59 posted on 07/10/2003 3:14:26 PM PDT by discostu (you've got to bleed for the dancer)

To: Diddle E. Squat

No knocking a mascott to the ground in a prank is stupid, doing it with a swinging bat is amazingly stupid. The fact that he aimed above the person's head and succeeded shows nothing more than he had enough common sense to not do it in the first place. Does he have any idea how that costume is secured to the person? Is whiplash a possibility? Is there something hard in there that he could knock into the person's head? He has no way to know until it's too late. Add that he comes from the back so the person in the suit has no way of knowing or bracing for it and you have the act of a complete moron who is being properly and justly ridiculed for his behavior.

60 posted on 07/10/2003 3:17:47 PM PDT by discostu (you've got to bleed for the dancer)

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