The End Of The Deep End - The swimming pool as you know it is no more (MORFORD)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 7/9/03 | Mark Morford (the man Freepers LOVE to HATE!)

[MikalM]

So it's not exactly the end of the divine luminous world and it's not exactly as bitterly dire as BushCo smirkingly reaming this nation and gutting schools and the economy and the environment and sex and joy, all slathered with his bald-faced lies about war. No, it's not quite as bad as that.

[MikalM]

Who says we can't find common ground with Marky M? I would think most Freepers would agree with him that the passing of deep-end pools is a sad symptom of a society overrun by litigation-addicts and wimps. (But he STILL managed to bash Bush/Cheney in the beginning, middle and end of the piece, even though they're totally irrelevant to the subject...)

[Support Free Republic]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender comes up and says "Hey pal, what will it be?"

The horse orders a beer.

A few minutes later, John Kerry walks in and sits at the bar. The bartender walks up and says "Hey pal, cheer up. Why the long face?"

I'll stop if you guys will donate and get us over our fundraising goal

[ClearCase_guy]

Let's see: deep swimming pools result in broken necks because idiots do not dive intelligently. BUT if we make the pools shallower, then the idiots will break their neck less often.

I learn something new every day.

[finnman69]

Moroford is incapable of writing without bashing Bush.

He was sooooo close in getting an article right for once, although he left out his requsite boyhood fantasization of beefy lifeguards.

Miss Morford also could have deleted around half of the paragraphs to say the same thing. They must be paying him pre word. How else to exlain his terminal case of verbal diarrhea.

[Humidston]

MarkyM needs to complain to his pals, the lawyers, if he has a problem. I'm sure he can find a dirth of them at his next Rat meeting!

[JennysCool]

Yup. Except for the gratuitous Bush-bashing I'm stunned to find myself in agreement with ol' Mordred! Just another example of the nanny state and its partners -- the insurance companies -- knowing what's "best for us" -- which, of course, is actually what's best so the insurance companies don't have to make the payoff if someone God forbid gets injured or worse. Catering to the insurance lobby is absolutely KILLING this country.

[discostu]

As a 6 year old kid one of the first things I realized was that the "deep-end" started LONG before the rope. Think about it the rope is usually around the 5' area, a 6 year old is 3 to 4 feet tall. But also as a kid you feel immortal, fear doesn't exist, that's part of the fun of childhood. I remember not being able to swim and balancing ON the rope to go across the pool, no fear. Nobody I hung out with as a kid had the dread of the deep end this guy portrays, the only thing we feared about the deep end was getting punished for going in it.

He should have used the Nerf analogy a friend of mine uses. Nerf made all these squishy ball that were supposed to be safer, while they might have been a little safer the margin was pretty slim, and they didn't kick well. That's the world were heading to, Nerf-land where we've given up effectiveness for an illusion of safety.

[Loyalist]

When Miss Morford isn't shoving his homosexuality down his reader's throats, he can write the occasional good column.

If anything, this misguided attempt at protecting children's safety will lead to more drownings because fewer children will know how to handle themselves in deep water, will panic, and drown.

[GSWarrior]

At least he doesn't bash Christians this time.

[Mears]

It was a rite of passage to do "cannonballs" at the deep end of the pool when my kids were growing up,and the more splash the better.

The kids of today don't know anything about free,unorganized,spur of the moment fun.How sad!

[Desdemona]

Hold on just a second here. Broken necks? As a former lifeguard and pool deck rat, I can attest that the only way one could break a neck at in pool, outside of slipping on the bottom or on the deck, is to dive head first into the SHALLOW end (no arms in front of you) or do a flip either off the side or a board and slapping your head against it.

This is really a tragedy for a number of just water safety issues, let alone the fun of summer. How are we supposed to teach deep water survival and disrobing when everybody can touch the bottom? These are life skills not just fun. Then, there's the little matter of LIFEGUARDING SKILL PRACTICE.

Lawyers ruin everything.

[TexanToTheCore]

"What, in short, will supplant the deep end? The media? "Survivor?" War? The NRA? Dick Cheney's pallid hateful sneer?"

NO. I'm just guessing, but I would say that everyone will be required to play quietly in the center of the pool.

The feminization of America continues unabated.

[SoothingDave]

How are we supposed to teach deep water survival and disrobing when everybody can touch the bottom?

You've piqued my curiosity. Just what is "deep water disrobing" and does everybody really get to then touch the bottom?

SD

[SoothingDave]

What is left to impart hints of terror and bliss and little exhilarating winks of potential death?

Isn't the author forgetting the terror and exhilirating bliss of facing death via anal sex?

SD

[Bobby777]

yep that's what I was thinking ... the most recent story was from last fall where somebody (my sister knew this person) dived into a pool, into the shallow end, thinking he was diving into the deep end and broke his neck ... he survived but is crippled ... such a shame ... maybe their logic is that no deep end means no diving ... either way, they are deep-sixing the deep ends all over the country ...

[Allegra]

Gee, I wonder how we all made it to adulthood anyway? When I was a kid, we had the deep end in the pool with both high and low diving boards, we never wore bicycle helmets (you'd have been laughed out of the neighhborhood)or shin pads, we skateboarded down steep inclines with no protective gear...amazing how we're still alive isn't it? (Stupid liberals...)

Anybody here familiar with the Officers' Club pool at Ft. Belvoir, Virginia? That one rocked...a whole pool that was deep and had a low diving board and a spearate end of the "big pool" with a high dive over a very deep end. I learned all my fancy diving tricks on those things.

[presidio9]

That's a laugh. Tort abuse, which the liberals are protecting is somehow President Bush's fault. Apparently Morford tunes out when the newscast stops talking about gay rights, harp seals, or Dubya's warmongering.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

How else to exlain his terminal case of verbal diarrhea.

Far easier to explain his terminal case of mental constipation.

[Allegra]

"spearate" is my secret language word for "separate."