Young men are running from marriage

Orlando Sentinel ^ | 07/02/2003 | Susan Reimer

[fawn796]

I "took" the children he could have cared less about.

And yeah, I was a "real catch," and my present husband of 15 years will still say so! And our single male friends tell him that they wish they could find a good one like he did. BTW, after 15 years, I still think my present husband is a GREAT catch.

[homeschool mama]

You'll be flamed horribly for your post, fawn. Forewarning. Some will twist and pick your words to benefit their personal rage.

My sister is going through a divorce. Her soon to be ex doesn't want anything to do with his daughter (very sad situation) and my sister is *not* seeking child support.

[geaux]

Not always. My mother-in-law had been married for 18 years when her husband left her for the 28 year-old hottie. My mother-in-law had a college education (teacher, which pays about $23K in my state), but virtually no work experience, and no resources. It's taken her 20 years to become financially stable; she went back to school for a higher degree, got a cr*p entry-level job, and worked her way up. Now, she's in her 60s, and hoping to retire by 80. She lives in a nice, but very small apartment. I'd hardly say she's better off financially.

[ffusco]

And yet women who have no children to raise, socks to sew, or meals to cook Still get half everthing. Try again.

Most women today aren't the model homemakers you describe, and men today are just as likely to change diapers, coach, do housework and prepare meals. Its 2003 FCOL-"for cying out loud."

[homeschool mama]

What about freeper women?

[rintense]

Not really an option. You see, the women who 'trap' these guys need the baby to keep the man around. An abortion would cut all ties to their boyfriend, second income, and 'better than nothing' option. Usually, the guys who are trapped (well, at least the two I know) are stand up guys and would never walk away from their responsibility. The women KNEW this, and it made the trap that much easier. It's so sad that a child has to become a pawn in some stupid high school relationship game.

[fawn796]

Thanks for the warning - but I already foresaw that - after reading their previous posts!

I always wonder how my "ex" tells the story, when all the other guys at work are complaining about how their wives took them to the cleaners!

[rintense]

Hahaha! Are you the couple on the Zyrtec commerical?

[RosieCotton]

If one goes into marriage with the idea he/she will be divorcing later, their marriage is doomed in the first place. imo.

Very true.

My parents always said knowing that you HAVE to work things out and divorce isn't an option actually made marriage easier, in some ways.

[ffusco]

Better off than what? Better off than if she stayed married- probably not. Better off than she would be without confiscatory alimony and common property laws- doubt it.

[rintense]

Do you have a source for that percentage? I'd like to read it if you do. It will scare the bejesus out of a LOT of my friends.

[homeschool mama]

**I always wonder how my "ex" tells the story, when all the other guys at work are complaining about how their wives took them to the cleaners! **

um...probably like some on this thread. :o'

[Ta Wee]

Listening to all these whiney loser-men venting hatred about women certainly makes me want to marry them.

Ever wonder why you can't find conservative women? When you spew so much hate, conservative women have enough sense to run the other way.

[george wythe]

I always wonder how my "ex" tells the story, when all the other guys at work are complaining about how their wives took them to the cleaners!

Yes, it would be nice to hear his side of the story.

You may be leaving out important portions of the whole story.

[homeschool mama]

**My parents always said knowing that you HAVE to work things out and divorce isn't an option actually made marriage easier, in some ways. **

Marriage and love is an act of will...not always emotion. A true commitment endures challenges and heart aches. Some people have no commitment to their marriage...then they wonder why it didn't work out.

In addition, the marriage vows include the wording (paraphrased) 'not to be entered into lightly'. Marriage shouldn't be a Vegas whim..it's a serious decision. More folks should recognize that.

[cpprfld]

I think that you making a big generalization. I am 30 and still single, and I am not an anti-social loser. I own my own house, I hold a steady job, I don't have any kids, and eventually when I meet the right lady I plan on getting married to her.

[homeschool mama]

In your opinion, should an ex wife then receive less than half of community property?

I detect you may have been hurt in a divorce.

[Protagoras]

Find me a virtuous woman- I already have the ring.

Couldn't be you could it?

[xsmommy]

yeah, i was trying to figure out where i fit in there....happily married to the same man for 18 years....

[RosieCotton]

Marriage and love is an act of will...not always emotion. A true commitment endures challenges and heart aches. Some people have no commitment to their marriage...then they wonder why it didn't work out.

Well said. If people go into marriage expecting it to be all happy feeeeeelings, no wonder it doesn't work out.

I'm just glad I had such a great example set for me. My parents were married over thirty years when my mother passed away last year. They were completely committed to one another, and to their children.