White People Dominate Caucasian Race, Says Jesse Jackson

BSNN ^ | June 26, 2003 | Lazamataz

[headsonpikes]

Pretty funny.

Don't quit your day job, if you have one.

And put your pants back on.

;^)

[NerdDad]

Sharpton characterized the Caucasian race as "yet another good-old-boy network," observing that a black woman in America is likely to never be called a "white male."

Michael Jackson has however been mistaken to be a white woman.

OK, 81 posts and nobody had used this one so I felt compelled to do so.

[bmwcyle]

I just don't find Jesse funny any more. He has pushed the routine too far.

[lowbridge]

As a black woman that happens to be white,

You're lucky. I'm a skinny hispanic trapped in a fat white mans body. Jesse totally ignores me.

[lowbridge]

Jesse's profound thinking. "Every time I look at a crowd of black people, all I see are black faces.

What are you supposed to see?

http://www.wavlist.com/movies/001/apl-black.wav

[Poohbah]

The problem with doing satire these days is that liberals are becoming parodies of themselves as it is.

[Poohbah]

The guy who wrote "Dress for Success" wrote a report for a black professional group. The topic, unsurprisingly, was on what black professionals should wear.

He finished the report, and then decided to give it a punchy title: "Dress White."

He sent the report in, and got a call back. They loved the report, but they were going to change the title...

He didn't give them time to talk, he just hung up and raced over to the guy's office, ready to complain about political correctness and so on.

He stopped dead when the client showed him the red-penned title:

"Dress VERY White."

[Feiny]

My side hurts from laughing so hard. I love this!!!

[Feiny]

Hymietown alert!!!

[Lazamataz]

Thanks, Laz. (rolling my eyes)...

Pick your eyes off the ground, stop rolling them, wash em off and put em back in.

Didn't your ma tell you that if you kept making that face, someday it would get stuck like that???

[AnnaZ]

Loved it.

 

(Resurrection time... Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson)

[Feiny]

OH my...how could I have ever forgotton about that thread? I had a huge smile on my face reading that one again. That thread was full of jubilation.

[autoresponder]

Those are Oreos.....

[autoresponder]

On a serious note:
(US government recognition for racial prefernces in contracts, hiring, casino ownership, tribal recognition, etc.)

Black: proven by color or a good tan or note from mommy if an albino or too pale looking or unless an white skinned actress or actor that is 1/2 black and wants to act like a jerk at the Academy Awards (1-drop theory) yet wants to profit or socially gain for not being of a deeply tinted, love Colt 45 and ham hocks, play basketball, football but not golf and/or polo, drive BMWs with dark tinted windows often

Caucasian: proven by color of skin unless an white skinned actress or actor that is 1/2 black and wants to act like a jerk at the Academy Awards (1-drop theory) yet wants to profit or socially gain for not being of a deeply tinted appearance, love goat cheese and Dom, play golf and/or polo, drive Volvo station wagons often

Hispanic: proven by surname only, or a family surname, drive a custom Chevy jumpin' lowrider with those little hangy-downs things on hanging from the windshield, a primal craving for Corona and hot salsa on nachos, or by lying well to qualify for U of Michigan law school

Native American Indian: proven by madatory documentation of a certain minimum % of native American Indian ancestry blood; overcomption of booze does not qualify as proof as this crosses all racial and ethnic lines, drive a 4WD pickup or SUV

Asian: proven by Asiatic appearance, setting the curve on all testing, inabilty to play the race card and basketball, love of sushi and Kirina, lack of ability to drive anything safely

---

Does that meet the test of the 14th Ammendment?

(recheck native American Indian % above re: goverment "preferences" mandatory PC requirements)

[RJayneJ]

ROTFLMAO No one knows our plight. It's just not fair and the government should do something about it!

[TC Rider]

I deny the allegations

I deny the alligators

[Jhoffa_]

I agree..

I shall both close my business AND boycott myself immediately!

Shame on me.. bad, BAD white man!

[Deb]

A ping right back.

[Deb]

Another **ping** for a very funny piece.