Studies shatter myth about abuse

USAToday ^ | June 22, 2003 | Karen S. Peterson

[BudgieRamone]

WASHINGTON

[BudgieRamone]

"Prevention and treatment should focus on managing conflict and aggression for both young men and women," Capaldi says. Each needs to understand the role both play while still putting a "special responsibility" on the man, who can inflict greater injury.

--The woman may be equally at fault in the situation but the men are somehow still responsible and need special punishment because they can cause more damage by virtue of their physical abilities... tell you what: give a woman a knife and see what she does with it.

The researchers emphasize they are not blaming women. "We are not saying anybody is at fault," says psychologist Miriam Ehrensaft of Columbia University. "But new data is emerging that says women are also involved in aggression. If we do not tell women that, we put them at risk."

--no of course not, saying that women are at fault sometimes is not politically correct, so we say in cases like that, Its a no fault thing, guess what the guy is still going to get arrested and thrown in the can even if she started it.

Where are all the male victims?" It is women, she says, who are subjected to "systematic terrorism."

--Men are usually too ashamed to report being "beaten up by a girl" while women in this twisted game are all too often awarded points for being the victim.

--Just had to rant on this one.

[shaggy eel]

Many researchers' findings in earlier, government-financed studies emphasize the man's role.

,,, crucial in the creative statistics game.

[elbucko]

REPEAL THE NINETEENTH AMENDMENT!

[Under the Radar]

heh, bump.

[GOP_1900AD]

You're right....

[Sonny M]

um, yea. okay.

[Centurion2000]

bump .... never happen ... but a good laugh.

[Old Sarge]

I categorically agree with your rant!

[MEG33]

You'd miss me,I know.

[TankerKC]

Big Duh! ALERT

I hope they didn't spend too much money on this.

[Scenic Sounds]

Rita Smith of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is not convinced that men are afraid of abusive women. "That fear is a critical factor in any domestic violence situation. And the abuse is part of an ongoing pattern to control someone else's behavior."

This is the kind of thing I was just kidding about earlier today.

Things have to be getting pretty bad when one of the "problems" is that men just aren't fearful enough of being subjected to domestic violence. I've only been involved in one relationship in which someone tried to get violent, and it wasn't me. And, as far as I was concerned, that relationship ended that day.

How can people live like that?

[Abcdefg]

After you got thru kickin his arse.

[MEG33]

Moi?

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

How can people live like that?

Well, I can't speak to why men do, but I have a good idea why women do - because for a little while in my early twenties, I did.

I was financially and professionally dependent on my partner. He was a sharp-tongued man with movie-star looks, and for a year and a half, he slowly turned me into a shell of my former self - I had no self-confidence once he was through with me. No self-confidence, no way (I thought) to make money that didn't involve working with him, isolated from my family for a year and a half, living half-way across the country from them...then one day, in my most vulnerable moment, he surprised me by giving me a bloody nose and choking me.

At that point, I was no longer the person I was when I met him. I lived like that for another year and a half until a friend and co-worker practically kidnapped me to get me out of there. After that, he cried on my doorstep for another good year and a half, begging me to come back.

So it's complicated.

I'm glad you got out though. : )

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

By the way, I never hit him. : )

[Cathryn Crawford]

You two have had your share of bad relationships. Glad I've missed out on those. :-)

Woman on man violence does happen. Think about the woman who hits her boyfriend or husband with a baseball bat and then charges her boyfriend with abuse when he restrains her. I've seen it happen.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

You two have had your share of bad relationships. Glad I've missed out on those. :-)

I only had one like that. That's all it took.

I, too, have known men who had to get physical to stop an attack from a woman. Women get the benefit of the doubt in domestic abuse situations, but they shouldn't always. It can't be easy for law enforcement to sort that out.

[Just another Joe]

I'll give any woman one free shot. When she comes back for a second, she then has a fight.
I might get beat, I might not, but no person gets two free shots.

[disclaimer]

No self-confidence, no way (I thought) to make money that didn't involve working with him, isolated from my family for a year and a half, living half-way across the country from them...then one day, in my most vulnerable moment, he surprised me by giving me a bloody nose and choking me.

I'm sorry you went through that sort of treatment from someone you had trusted.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Thank you. I was fortunate enough to have good friends who were older, who convinced me I didn't need to stay there, and that I made enough money to make it on my own. (They were actually co-workers, and one also managed an apartment complex - he loaned me furniture from a model until I got totally on my feet.)

I wish every woman living with an abuser could have the support I did. Unfortunately, it often doesn't work out that way.