In A Wal-Mart Kind Of Hell

SF Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, June 18, 2003 | Mark Morford, confused liberal

[presidio9]

Stop. You've found it. This is the place. Americana HQ. Patriotism in a giant tin bucket. This is where souls recoil, children wail, dreams die.

This is Wal-Mart. The glorious consumer mecca, the epic wonderland/wasteland of prefab landfill merch, not only the world's largest and most powerful retailer and the most aggressive snarling frightening happy-place marketer and quite possibly the most hideously overlit soul-draining monster empire you will ever know in your entire lifetime, but also the very multibillion-dollar pseudo-Christian kingdom that censors their offerings and refuses to sell certain music CDs and bans "risqu

[Xenalyte]

Sweet flame!

Have you seen this one yet? It's great source material.

[MikalM]

All right, i see someone got here and managed to stick the powerfully witty "Idiotarian" in the key words...

'Twas I. I was referring to Morford, not to WalMart or the Libertarians.

[MikalM]

Awesome reply! Wish I could rant as articulately as this...

[.45MAN]

Some of the WAL-MART's here are dirty but I have to agree they are all zoo-like...However WAL-MART does not allow feeding at anytime....

[two23]

"But here, have a nice Remington .22. Now scamper off and go kill something, sweetie."

I think the author of this article needs help.

[sauropod]

"It might seem innocuous, this magazine cover-up, this prosaic Bible-lickin' censorship, merely representing Wal-Mart's ostensible pro-family nightmarish dystopian mega-ethos of perky corporate sweatshop happiness and their infamous claim that they are merely responding to their customers' wishes when they remove products, block out words, cover up those horrible boobies."

I wondered at the incongruity of this with the fact that Her Heinous was at a local Wal-Mart selling her "non-fiction" life story....

And, BTW, isn't Morford gay?

[presidio9]

And, BTW, isn't Morford gay?

In the words of comedian Jay Mohr: 'He's as gay as a leather pinata."

[gcruse]

Are there any writers on the right who write columns
 this bizarre or have mental problems to this degree?

Uhm, that would be Ann Coulter defending the WoD.

[stands2reason]

Then for 100 million benumbed Wal-Mart regulars, Marilyn and Maxim might as well not even exist.

Wal-mart is trying to make me think meatballs don't exist because they don't carry Weight Watcher's Meatball Pockets. What? You mean, I can buy them at Albertson's? And Wal-Mart won't ban me for life? C'mon....

[gcruse]

Where do I sign up!?!

I'll sign you up with TVC if
you really want unending spam
that you can't turn off.  Let
me know.

[js1138]

? Then for 100 million benumbed Wal-Mart regulars, Marilyn and Maxim might as well not even exist.

Who or what are marilyn and maxim?

[Clemenza]

I prefer the Diners we have here in New York to any Waffle House/Cracker Barrel (the latter of which I REALLY can't stand, although Waffle House is pretty good) ANY day of the week. I remember that when I lived in Florida, the closest we had to diners was Denny's which is FILTHY and has lousy service to boot.

[Clemenza]

Get Home Depot to carry all the magazines and other consumer items the third sex enjoys.

When I lived in South Florida, the Home Depot bathrooms were notorious for being Gay cruising zones. There were always guys getting busted for playing "Bob and Neil."

[stands2reason]

Now does this goon shop in department stores without Cheri and Oui and Hustler out on the racks? Somehow I don't doubt it---yet how can he tolerate that kind of censorship???

[Xenalyte]

Maxim is a male version of Cosmo. I have a couple issues featuring Lucy Lawless.

[stands2reason]

Cynical Elitism is never pretty....

[bets]

Well, at least not Hillary! She just had her latest book-signing at Wal-Mart.

While you're all trying to decide if WM is too cluttered or not, do any of you remember its Clinton-associated roots in Arkansas? Hillary Clinton used to be on the WM Board of Directors.

Also, back when Clinton was king in AK, he helped Tyson and Sam Walton get a commercial-sized airport built WITH TAXPAYER'S MONEY. For WM this was so they could import goods directly from China. An expose was done on the scandal of the airport many years ago, and then no one was prosecuted for the crimes. Sound familiar for the Clinton-era? WM, like Tyson, is not really just a corporation - it is an extension of the government by favor and by money. Capitalism does not apply to their success, only greed and corruption.
Please, someone come back w/a comment that doesn't contain the word "cheese-doodles" or "Brittany Spears".

[rattrap]

i don't like all this cheese-dooling about britney spears.

this is series, i'm get a moderator.

:-/

[Clemenza]

So where do you shop. Target?

(Target was, I believe, founded by the Ultra-Liberal Dayton family, who produced MN Senator Mark Dayton)