He's celibate until marriage, and dates won't tolerate it

Chicago Sun-Times ^ | June 15, 2003 | Mary Mitchell

[TheSpottedOwl]

No passes made, no words of love, no promises for the future, and I'd start to wonder if maybe I'd found that rare man that doesn't want it AT ALL, even after marriage.

That is a good point right there. God made sex fun for a purpose. It's one thing to choose not to have men running in and out of your house in front of the kids, but not to want it at all doesn't compute.

[maui_hawaii]

Celebate is better than divorce and/or child support payments for the rest of your life, regardless of age. An hour of "fun" and a lifetime of trouble. Sounds like a bad trade.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Okay, they weren't a match made in heaven. But, to help her self-esteem, you say he should have slept with her, indiscriminately, for six months, then dumped her when he decided he didn't want to marry her. And that would have helped her self-image, how?

[avenir]

I basically said the same thing, but you said it so much better! LOL!

[Age of Reason]

Celebate? What a weird attitude for a man.

[Age of Reason]

OK, I'm a guy. That I can't even spell "celibate" proves it.

[CyberAnt]

No it isn't! That's where the myth comes into play. My dad was not married until he was 32. I have no idea if he was celibate or not - but he was OVER 30 before he married.

God gave us the equipment - however, the old addage, "use it or lose it" - is the biggest lie. You are male or female, and you don't have to be messing with everybody in town to prove that's who or what you are.

[Dr. Frank fan]

Would women a hundred years ago tolerated this?

I don't know. I suspect many women a hundred years ago would have expected it.

All except for one difference, which is that a hundred years ago few man would wait till age 33+ to get married in the first place ;-)

[Pan_Yans Wife]

God only sanctions sex within the marriage.

[stands2reason]

Celibacy Homosexuality is nature's way of saying your genes aren't fit to produce the next generation.

[Dr. Frank fan]

If he doesn't at least ACT like he's dying to have sex with her one day, how is the woman to know he isn't just looking for a mommy instead of a real wife?

LOL. You make some great points.

[Age of Reason]

Sex shouldn't be part of a dating relationship, Washington said.

Correct--but only for a girl.

[Americalover]

""I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

This guy is some kind of nut. He doesn't want to have sex with the women who want sex before marriage and he doesn't want the marry the women who agree to abstain. If he hasn't found someone by 33 there is certainly something else going on and it isn't to be admired.

[CIBvet]

I told my friends wife just the other day, that although I didn't have the where-with-all to hold my own marriage together, I feel Blessed to be able to stand on the sidelines and watch, and cheer their family on. They're doing it right.

[najida]

One thing to be celibate and activily looking for a life-mate. That is admirable, because you are
a. Seriously looking (and in the meantime developing a grip that can powder granite).
b. Fighting biology (sex being one of God's great gifts and a fun part of being human.)

In ten years, he shoulda found someone if he was serious about looking. It sounds like he really isn't that concerned about getting married, judging from the poor girl he dated for six months. My guess is he is getting off on the power trip of being the one to say no.

He may also be very asexual...like a chick I heard on AM talk radio the other night. They were discussing teen sexuality, she stated how she couldn't understand the rush to have sex, since she didn't think it was so great to begin with. Causing the male commentator to sputter and say "My condolences to your ex-husband."

[HitmanLV]

"When you give your body, you open an area to them that is really sacred. You exchange spirits with that person and that is how you end up with heartaches, pain and jealousy. There are women out here who are cheating just like men. You can't blame one [gender] more than the other. If men stood up and took the initiative and treated women with more respect and respected their bodies, women would want their bodies respected."

I gotta remember this line.... ;-)

[HitmanLV]

"When you give your body, you open an area to them that is really sacred. You exchange spirits with that person and that is how you end up with heartaches, pain and jealousy. There are women out here who are cheating just like men. You can't blame one [gender] more than the other. If men stood up and took the initiative and treated women with more respect and respected their bodies, women would want their bodies respected."

I gotta remember this line.... ;-)

[TheSpottedOwl]

>>That's silly. There is a difference in risk between sleeping with every crackwhore to come down the pyke, and sleeping with a steady girlfriend who you know well.<<

Not morally, there isn't. She's just an unpaid prostitute.

I have to disagree with that statement. I don't plan on getting remarried, in fact men my age are looking to settle down and have children. I'm not having more children, so I don't date. It would be wrong to date a man who expects to marry and have children when you don't have the same intentions. However should I find a nice man around my age, of course I would sleep with him and I wouldn't consider myself engaging in unpaid prostitution.

[Enterprise]

I think your observation about control is pretty good. It is fine if he wants to remain celibate until marriage. But if he needs to be in "control" then he evidently didn't find the right woman. Cooperation in a relationship works better. (Don't tell my wife I said that).

[stands2reason]

Whoever he was, he removed his genes from the future gene pool.

Influence sometimes means more than "spreading your seed."