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Modesty En Vogue
National Catholic Register ^ | June 8-14, 2003 | BARB EARNSTER

Posted on 06/14/2003 6:05:16 PM PDT by nickcarraway

At a time when exposed midriffs, pierced navels and tattooed backsides are all the rage, the pressure is on young girls to grin and "bare" it.

Everywhere you turn, Catholic parents - their influence challenged by the onslaught of writhing pop idols on TV and the prevalence of racy attire at the shopping mall - are lamenting the loss of their daughters' modesty.

"It used to be just the fringe people who dressed like that," says Kathie Nalepa, who resides in Clarkston, Mich., with her husband and three children. "But [now] even the girls who want to do the right thing are feeling pressure."

"Pure Fashion" shows hope to offer an antidote. One, co-organized by Nalepa, drew more than 600 mothers and daughters. Hosted by Challenge Clubs of Michigan, a Catholic youth organization, the show featured club members - girls in junior and senior high - modeling modest, but trendy, clothing.

The Michigan show was just one of many. Since Pure Fashion was launched in Minneapolis five years ago, Challenge Clubs in nine states have put on scores of similarly styled events under the Pure Fashion banner.

One of the best pieces of news to come out of the shows lately is that they're at-tracting audiences not only from Catholic youth groups but also from a widening swath of the general public.

Pure Fashion is proving successful because it "speaks to virtues that are very necessary in today's world, modesty and purity," says Tammy Grady, a Regnum Christi consecrated woman who provides spiritual formation to members of Challenge Clubs in the Midwest. "We're all a product of our environment. What the media portrays is fashionable. So there has to be a whole environment created that leads [young people] to the good, and it has to be ongoing."

Since 1995, when the more outrageous styles started to emerge en masse (low-cut jeans with the top button undone, for example), retailers have more than doubled the floor space devoted to teen fashions. The market, they know, is ripe: Spending among 12- to 19-year-olds hit $170 billion last year, according to market-research firm Teen Research Unlimited, and 48% of the teens they surveyed said they plan to spend as much or more this year.

"You're looking at a huge market. Companies like Abercrombie & Fitch and Victoria's Secret know these young people, primarily girls, are interested in buying products and so they market them heavily," says Teresa Tomeo, a former Detroit television news anchor who left the secular media in 2000. Today she speaks, writes and hosts a Catholic radio program with Jeff Cavins.

Coleen Kelly Mast of Catholic Answers, who also spoke at the recent Michigan show, says Pure Fashion can impress upon young girls how important it is to consider how they present themselves to others. "You are a walking advertisement," she says. "The type of clothing you wear will either advertise your body - or your values and beliefs as a person."

"Teen-age girls often don't realize what men and boys think and feel when they see girls dressed immodestly," adds Mast. "Clothes that are tight, short, skimpy or transparent can be a real temptation for others to lust."

Supply and Demand

Catholics are not the only ones doing something to stand up to (and out from) current styles. Last fall, a group of Mormon teens in Mesa, Ariz., wrote a petition asking Dillard's department store to offer more modest clothing. Some 1,500 high-school students signed. The retailer re-sponded quickly with a line of modest dresses - right in time for homecoming season, as it happened.

And Dillard's at the Mall of Georgia, in Atlanta, provided clothing for Pure Fashion this year. When asked if the retailer was hearing from its customers about the current fashions, the store's general manager, Michael Falabella, said those decisions are made at the buying level, and managers can't do much about it. (Calls to Dillard's corporate offices, and other retailers, were not returned.)

Kim Gibas, a Plymouth, Minn., mother whose daughter modeled for a Minneapolis Pure Fashion show, says it's hard to make an impact on retailers "because there aren't enough kids out there wanting to buy the stuff. Their sense of modesty is gone. Nobody thinks it's wrong."

Indeed, Tomeo says the relationship between the media and what's happening in society is well documented. Studies by the American Academy of Pediatrics have found that half of the Saturday television commercials are aimed at young girls and focus on physical appearance. Other studies from the National Institute on Media & Family found that viewing MTV results in more permissive attitudes about sex and exposes youth to a tremendous amount of violence - particularly sexual violence against women.

The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, a document of the Pontifical Council on the Family, says it is the duty of parents "to protect the young from the aggressions they are subjected to by the media. The practice of decency and modesty in speech, action and dress is very important for creating an atmosphere suitable to the growth of chastity, but this must be well motivated by respect for one's own body and the dignity of others. Parents, as we have said, should be watchful so that certain immoral fashions and attitudes do not violate the integrity of the home, especially through misuse of the mass media … May no one shirk from this duty by using the excuse that he or she is not involved."

Tomeo says getting involved is not difficult with the Internet at hand. Many Web sites are helping parents organize and give voice to their concerns. Not only are the sites good resources, but many also have petitions you can send online, along with pre-written letters, toll-free numbers and other means for action.

The Parents Television Council (www.parentstv.org) has 800,000 members that get the networks' attention when they launch a campaign. Tomeo also recommends the American Decency Association (www.americandecency.org), the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families (www.nationalcoalition.org), www.lyrics.com and her own site, www.teresatomeo.com, as good resources.

Mast says parents should begin modesty training at age 6 or 7, when they still control the money and shopping.

"Teaching modesty should be a normal part of the discipline of children on the road to self-mastery," she says. "It can remind them of their inner dignity as a child of God. Each time a child shops for or gets a new outfit, the question of modesty should be addressed. Children can begin to think about the statements they are making with their clothes."

Nalepa marvels that actions taken, even small ones, can bring positive responses from teens. "I am convinced that kids want to be modest," she says. "I think it's a natural virtue. When modesty is presented as a good thing, they're happy. They don't want to worry about being sexual beings. They're just kids."


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: children; clothing; culture; modesty; teens
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To: Paul Atreides
Hey Paul rack your take

I buy majority of my clothing off the net through via JC Penney aka Sweaters and dress NOTHING Like kids wearing now

Belly shirt and mini skit that go up the butt


21 posted on 06/14/2003 7:09:09 PM PDT by SevenofNine (Not everybody in it for truth, justice, and the American way=Det Lennie Briscoe)
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To: Paul Atreides; Mygirlsmom
Lands End is one on-line source that has proved successful for my daughter...*and* me. :o)
22 posted on 06/14/2003 7:10:50 PM PDT by homeschool mama
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To: mlmr
Good suggestions, mlmr!

The boys department has great t-shirt colors...the pink and purple in the girls department is enough to make me wanna hurl.

We visit Goodwill too. It's amazing what one can find, huh? :o)

23 posted on 06/14/2003 7:13:30 PM PDT by homeschool mama
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To: SevenofNine; homeschool mama
You can find some great bargains on the net, some of it for a steal. I am currently doing my Christmas shopping on the net.

A few years ago, I began putting together a professional wardrobe for working in an office environment. I got some of the stuff for a song. Also, it is quality stuff that looks NOTHING like the crap found in the department stores. I was in JCPenney the other day and bought a London Fog wool coat, regularly $350, for $70.

24 posted on 06/14/2003 7:15:20 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
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To: homeschool mama
My girls know what I expect and that clothes have to pass the momma-test. They can be flattering but not tight. It is amazing what is passed off for children's clothing.
25 posted on 06/14/2003 7:22:45 PM PDT by mlmr (The chickens always come home to roost........unless they are eaten by the racoons.)
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To: Capitalist Eric
The contemporary dating scene usually consists of fat, sloppy women in hip-hugger pants with 15 pounds of "my cup runneth over,"

LOL! Only 15? You're being very gentlemanly. My latest motto is: Hip-huggers are awful and anorexia is awful, but together they could have worked!

26 posted on 06/14/2003 7:28:12 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady (Let them eat cake.)
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To: xsmommy; HairOfTheDog; bonfire
Modest clothing ping! I've missed you, ladies!

Hey, Hair. How did things work out with you and the Inquistor from Kansas? I really thought you guys had a shot.

27 posted on 06/14/2003 7:35:24 PM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: TontoKowalski
I really thought you guys had a shot.

Aww... I struck out Tonto.

28 posted on 06/14/2003 7:39:14 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Not all those who wander are lost)
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To: HairOfTheDog
I'm so sorry to hear that... y'all had so much in common.

Joking aside, I am encouraged to see that modest clothing seems to be making a little bit of a comeback (in the eyes of teens...I suspect it never went out of favor in the eyes of Moms).

If a girl wants to dress like Brittany, have at it. That's between her an her family. But at least those that don't want to dress that way won't feel so unhip.

I could give a rat's patoot what anyone thinks now (but I think you know that), but I am not now, nor was I ever, a teenage girl.

29 posted on 06/14/2003 7:44:05 PM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: Paul Atreides
Hey Paul DUDE I love the JC Penney coat line like Worington Liz Baker coats those are cool

After Christmas I score myself $80 dollar Black Overcoat and hat with it LOLOLOL!!!
30 posted on 06/14/2003 7:44:35 PM PDT by SevenofNine (Not everybody in it for truth, justice, and the American way=Det Lennie Briscoe)
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To: TontoKowalski
I am not now, nor was I ever, a teenage girl.

I was.... what hideous creatures they are!

31 posted on 06/14/2003 7:48:23 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Not all those who wander are lost)
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To: HairOfTheDog
LOL! OK, be honest. Was peer pressure to "fit in" everything it's cracked up to be? My sister was quite popular, but I don't think she ever made a concious effort to be that way.
32 posted on 06/14/2003 7:50:19 PM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: mlmr
What you said is a big part of the problem. Do the parents of those teens not realize that they are the parents? I mean, who runs their households, the kids?

Kudos to you for being an adult and a parent, rather than part of the kids' peer group.

33 posted on 06/14/2003 7:51:37 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
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To: TontoKowalski
My friends would have rather looked better than me than ever give me fashion advice! "Yeah - you look good in those highwater pants!" [snicker]
34 posted on 06/14/2003 7:55:16 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Not all those who wander are lost)
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To: sandyeggo
We're raising boys too, so at least for now we've not had to deal with this issue first hand. Now that our older son is 10, we're beginning to see immodest clothing on some of the girls in his grade. For now, he's allergic to girls, so it's not a big issue. It worries me for the future though. We're trying to raise our sons to be decent, responsible and respectful. When girls dress immodestly, it will be more difficult for them to behave as they should towards them. I'm grateful to any parents of girls who are fighting this difficult battle for modesty. Our boys will have enough temptations without being surrounded by provocatively dressed girls and trashy behavior.
35 posted on 06/14/2003 7:55:50 PM PDT by Think free or die
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To: Paul Atreides
I've been pleasantly suprised by JC Penney lately. I dispaired over finding a nice dress recently for an evening event. I finally found a great little turquoise dress at JC Penney for $40. The prices were much higher at the other shops, and the dresses seemed to be matronly, immodest, or largely black. To top it off, the dress was made in USA and had a reply card on it to send them feedback. Of course I lavished them with praise!
36 posted on 06/14/2003 7:59:38 PM PDT by Think free or die
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To: mlmr
Boys clothes from Wal-Mart seems like it goes a little too far in the opposite direction -- likely, if anything, to provoke a bad rebellion. (A girl's wardrobe is only secure until she gets the first place she can pull out the blouse she stuffed downt he bottom of her back-pack).

J. Crew and Banana Republic (to name a couple of brands) offer classically tailored, very appealling clothing for women ... think preppy, feminine, chic yet traditional. Nothing tackily reveealing, but nothing absurdly clunky or baggy. (Baggy sends a message to the boys, "my mom doesn't want you to touch me." Classic and fitted sends a message to the boys, "I'm a star, and no one unworthy of me can dare to touch." Guess which one is more effectively intimidating to a teenage boy?)
37 posted on 06/14/2003 8:23:34 PM PDT by only1percent
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To: nickcarraway
Compelling reasons of why girls should learn to sew.

Really, the junior departments right now are unreal. If I had teen-aged girls right now, I'd be dressing them out of misses and petites, not that the clothes are all that great, but at least the shirts go to the waist.

I'm telling you, I want to teach a class - Fashion 101 - featuring the sheath dress and three quarter sleeves with boat and ballet necks. Perfectly modest and feminine and they look good on just about everybody.
38 posted on 06/14/2003 10:15:44 PM PDT by Desdemona
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To: TontoKowalski; xsmommy; honeygrl
Glad you thought of me because I thought of ALL of you today. Daughter had on a TWO PIECE that I thought might be a bit immodest today. She agreed and changed suits. I've decided that no matter WHAT she puts on she looks almost too good.
39 posted on 06/14/2003 10:27:49 PM PDT by bonfire
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To: nickcarraway
bump
40 posted on 06/14/2003 10:28:44 PM PDT by GrandMoM ("Vengeance is Mine , I will repay," says the Lord.)
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